This Redditor’s parents can’t handle money properly. So, when they asked for a considerable part of the inheritance he received from his uncle, he refused because he was sure they’d blow everything up in flames!
A Normal Family, or So He Thought
OP’s (Original Poster) family has never been great with money. However, he and his sister have always been provided for, and he remembered that they had nice things as a kid.
He wrote, “I thought our way of life was normal.”
The Broken Carafe
Yet, when OP was a teenager, he found his mother sobbing at the kitchen sink one night because she broke the carafe for the coffee maker. The broken carafe upset his mom because they couldn’t afford a new coffee maker.
He found it quite ridiculous that a teenage boy was consoling his mom over a $10 expense.
Better Financial Situation
Thankfully, everything was going great by the time OP graduated college. His parents had paid off some loans, a trust fund from his grandparents paid part of them, and he was left with a little to pay off himself.
Money Gone Down the Drain
Then, when OP’s grandparents passed away, his mom and uncle inherited a hefty amount of money. OP’s mom gave “pretty much all of it” to his dad to help him finance his business.
Unfortunately, it failed and ended up not working out.
80% Gone, 100% Done
Because of this, OP’s parents talked about how they were “out of money.”
OP wrote, “My mom has come to me, my sister, and my wife saying that she is not sure she can stay with dad with what is happening. Eighty percent of what she inherited from grandma is gone, and she has nowhere to go. She loves my dad, and it’s devastating. None of us are able to help.”
Why Are We Talking About This Now?
OP’s parents also took this time to talk about his uncle, who has an estate valued at over $2,000,000! Apparently, his uncle wanted his mom to get 50% and 25% each for him and his sister.
OP said, “I don’t know what to say. How do we even have this conversation? My uncle is still alive and struggling.”
Relying on the Inheritance
Unfortunately, three years after they had the first conversation about OP’s uncle’s money and estate, his uncle passed away. OP got the news at five in the morning, and he was so heartbroken that his wife held him as he cried in their bathroom—half ready for work that day.
It wasn’t until before 10 in the morning that he had someone from his family call him back. At some point, he discovered that his uncle’s estate was now supposed to be distributed in thirds instead of the “originally intended” 75/25/25; because of this, OP’s mom and dad also asked him to give them some of his share!
The Need for Financial Security
Instead of responding to his parents’ words, OP focused on ensuring their family was financially secure. He didn’t want to be like his parents, who were waiting for the “next big break” to bail them out.
OP wrote, “Everyone agrees. I never press the issue of an actual percentage.”
A Huge Ask
After some time, OP’s parents talked to his sister and took a huge amount of her money to make the distribution equal to what their parents told them they expected. He hadn’t spoken to them yet at this point.
However, shortly after, he received a call from his parents, asking him to wire them $325,000. OP froze with shock and didn’t know what to do about their request.
His Parents’ Plans
OP’s parents justified why they want that much, attributing everything to the costs of their retirement, budget, and how they’ll “finally be able to leave him and his sister an inheritance.”
In his post, OP shared, “Their budget is based on taking two vacations a year. They live as a couple in a large home they intend to pay off. This is not what I expected. I say no.”
A Firm Refusal
After countless discussions and “clinical” emails, OP finally told his parents he would give them nothing. His sister also asked their parents to return her money, and they did.
But now, OP’s parents are accusing them of “stealing” from them!
It’s All About Money
Because of everything that has happened, OP feels he is losing his parents.
He said, “Anything I do now would just be buying a relationship with them, and that’s not something I can get right with.”
The Community’s Two Cents
Many people agreed with OP’s decision not to give a huge amount of his inheritance to his parents, who have repeatedly shown that they couldn’t handle money properly.
A Redditor commented, “Not the a**hole. My mom is horrible with money, and something I’ve learned is that they will continue to be this way. Even if my mom won a million dollars, she wouldn’t know how to sustain it because she’s not financially intelligent. She has a bad history of spending money carelessly.”
The same person added, “It’s not your fault that you’re good with money and you want to save it for your own future. Your mom has gotten a sizable amount in the first place. What about your retirement? Your future?”
What’s Yours Is Yours!
Some Redditors also pointed out how irresponsible OP’s parents were when handling money and being financially stable. OP should not be guilty at all for keeping what’s rightfully his.
“Not the a**hole. Your parents should have thought of a better retirement plan than a rich family member dying and leaving them a ton of money,” a commenter said.
Another Redditor wrote, “Not the a**hole. Inheritance is a gift that is legally designated for a reason. It’s to prevent greedy relatives from manipulating and stealing from other people. If your parents will drop you over, not letting them steal from you speaks to their character, not yours. Feel no guilt for not letting your parents steal from you.”
It Was Left for You!
Redditors also reminded OP that the money was left to him and his sister, and his uncle ensured that his sister, OP’s mom, was cared for. Therefore, he shouldn’t give in to what they want.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. If your uncle intended to leave your parents more, he would have left them more. If you want to waste your inheritance, that’s okay—but if you don’t, you certainly aren’t an a**hole.”
“Not the a**hole. I agree with a lot of the comments here, but I want to add that your parents have been acting like a**holes for a while. They’ve been planning on this without doing anything to rectify their own financial situation and pressuring you for years. Planning about how they’re going to divvy up your uncle’s inheritance while he’s still alive and then counting on it is both a**holish and wildly irresponsible. What if his end-of-life care had been much more expensive than predicted? On top of that, it sounds like their share is already more than enough to put them in a decent position without taking from yours. It sounds like your father’s business may be a money pit, in which case guilting you and your sister out of money probably won’t help long term anyway,” added another Redditor.
What do you think? Was OP wrong for giving his parents nothing?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Give His Greedy Parents $325,000 of the $660,000 Inheritance He Received From His Uncle. Furious, They Started Emotionally Blackmailing Him, Saying He’s “Stealing” Their Money! on Quote Ambition.