A young man gave ballet tickets to one of his performances to his aunt and uncle. But his parents found out and got angry at him for not giving the tickets to them!
Dancing Alone
OP (Original Poster) is a 16-year-old boy who was having a ballet performance. His parents weren’t into ballet and had never supported his love for this dance style.
The Passion of Dance
However, OP was passionate about dancing ballet and had done it for some time. So, he wished his parents would see and share his passion for the art form, but they didn’t.
The Black Sheep
OP’s parents had always attended all his sibling’s sports events but rarely attended his ballet performances. This frustrated OP and made him feel like his parents had always “pushed his interests aside.”
What’s Wrong With Dancing?
The situation could have stemmed from his other siblings playing more traditional sports. It could have been easier for his dad to get into and enjoy those activities since he used to engage in them, too.
Some Tickets
For one of his recent performances, OP received a few tickets he could pass out. Instead of giving them to his parents, he gave them to his aunt and uncle, who had always supported his passion for ballet.
A Father Betrayed
When OP’s father found out he had given out free tickets to his aunt and uncle, he was furious. He demanded that his son retrieve the tickets and give them to him and his mom instead.
Standing His Ground
OP didn’t take that well and refused to get the tickets back. He told his father that if he would start “acting like his parent and showing support,” he would consider giving him tickets.
Stinging Retort
His father seemed hurt by his comment and said a “backhanded comment” about OP not loving him.
He also commented, “I can’t believe you’d choose your aunt and uncle over your parents. It’s like you don’t even care about us.”
Passive-Aggressive Parenthood
OP said that his father had started acting cold toward him, and his mother ignored him.
His father would comment, “You’re breaking my heart with your selfishness. I thought we were close, but I guess I was wrong.”
Hard to Stomach
OP had started to doubt himself because he had always enjoyed spending time with his father.
That’s when his dad hit him with this: “You really must hate me if you can’t do this one thing for your old man.”
One’s Self-Recrimination
With everything said, OP wondered if his words had been too harsh. He questioned if he should have given his parents the tickets.
He asked, “Am I the a**hole for not giving my parents tickets to my ballet performance? Was I too harsh with my response, or should I stand my ground?”
The Community Speaks Up
Redditors supported OP, and most wanted him to stand his ground on this issue.
One user said, “Not the a**hole. ‘Gee, I thought you wouldn’t want them since you hated ballet. When have you gone to my performances? I don’t want them going to waste.’ Do they want to go, or will they rip them up?”
Others focused on his parent’s behavior and said, “Not the a**hole. They just wanted those tickets out of entitlement. They wouldn’t even enjoy the performance but would take pride in portraying the perfect parents who support their kids’ passion. Put your foot down. Give those tickets to people that will appreciate it.”
Deeper Problems
Some Redditors also noted that the way his father was acting was inappropriate.
One user went so far as to say, “Not the a**hole. Your dad sounds like a gaslighting narcissist. You are perfectly fine to give your tickets to whoever you want. I would ask your parents why they suddenly want tickets to your performance when they’ve not come to see you perform any other time. See what they say.”
Several other comments mentioned the way his father had talked to him. One Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. Your dad is toxic and is gaslighting you. You can give the tickets to any person of your choice. They weren’t supportive, and this is one of the consequences.”
Coaching Assistance
Many in the community were also eager to offer OP advice on approaching the conversation with his dad.
“He’s also DARVO-ing like mad. That can be hard for a kid to counter. What Mom and Dad need to see is a written list of all the times they’ve ignored OP’s dance performances, all the times his aunt and uncle have been supportive, and all the times the parents have gone to sibling events. They need to see it in writing, the length of those lists. Then it becomes much harder to defend,” said one user.
Another Redditor added, “This right here. OP may not like conflict, so voicing their feelings comes across as ‘soft suggestions’ rather than the direct ‘stop your s***’ confrontation a hardheaded offender requires. I tend to ‘leave breadcrumbs’ hoping the person will have the self-awareness required to put two plus two together on their own and spare themselves the embarrassment of being called out, but it rarely works. Some people need a verbal skillet to the skull before they realize how badly they’ve been behaving. It seems OP’s dad needs the skillet.”
What do you think about how OP handled the situation? Are his parents trying to gaslight him, or do they want to go and support him in his next performance?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Give His Unsupportive Parents Tickets to His Ballet Performance and Gave Them to His Aunt and Uncle Instead. Now His Dad’s Emotionally Blackmailing Him, Saying He’s “Selfish” for “Breaking Their Hearts!” on Quote Ambition.
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