When this Redditor’s wife received her inheritance, they decided it was only right for him to get 50%. Now that she’s spent hers, she wants his share returned to her!
Nine Years With Almost Zero Work
OP (Original Poster), a 33-year-old man, and his 32-year-old wife have been together for 9 years. Throughout their relationship, she has only worked for 9 months in 2021.
Lazy, Reliant Wife
His wife often makes excuses as to why she can’t work and expects OP to be the one applying and sending out resumes for her. The last time OP did that, it was really exhausting as he was working, studying, and applying for jobs on her behalf.
Lifestyle Change—or Not!
Eventually, they found her a job with very little pay, but OP was happy that his wife was working and contributing. However, she resigned as she had to wait one to two hours daily for OP to pick her up.
But this wasn’t without a valid reason; OP got a new job, which only gave him a 30-minute break. Since OP’s wife doesn’t have a license, she’d had to wait until he finished his shift to pick her up.
OP added, “Driving to her job and driving her back takes one hour in total, and I was waking up three hours before my shift to drive her since she started earlier.”
First Impressions Always Last
But suddenly and out of the blue, his wife quit and booked an Uber for $80 to go back home, as OP didn’t want to call in sick and pick her up right when she asked.
OP noted, “I was two weeks into my new job and didn’t want to leave a bad impression already, and she didn’t want to wait until I got the 4:00 PM to midnight shift.”
Chill Wife, Hard Life
After that, OP pretty much just gave up and has been handling all their finances. He was working and studying for them to keep getting more income, and so on.
In the meantime, he let his wife play video games and just take care of their cats.
For You, for Me, for Us
Then, when OP posted this story, his wife had just inherited a part of her grandmother’s estate. She agreed that OP should get 50%, which is $3,000 out of $6,000, since he handles all their financial aspects.
OP wrote, “However, she spent her 50% on cat toys, a $700 litter robot, expensive cat food, etc., and she and her mom go out together since her mom can drive.”
Withdrawing the Other 50%
After a while, his wife and mother-in-law demanded he give back the other 50% because it’s “hers.” OP understands why his wife thinks she is entitled to the money, but to him, giving it to someone “irresponsible” with their money feels wrong, especially because she has never had to deal with all the expenses they go through.
OP wrote, “I brought up that I feel like she was irresponsible, and I spend that money every month, and it’s ‘our’ money—not his or hers, and she blew up on me.”
Mother-In-Law’s Biased Opinion
OP’s mother-in-law also thinks he’s wrong. She believes he needs to return his wife’s money since she bought household items, like the litter robot, that make their lives “easier.”
However, OP feels both his wife and mother-in-law don’t care about anything but themselves and are not considering him and his wife as one.
Doing as They Pleased
Since then, OP has dealt with every attempt they made to try to take back the money. His mother-in-law even takes his car without asking and uses it when she and his wife go out.
Then, they would justify their actions by saying it’s his wife’s grandma’s money, making them co-owners of the car.
Taking a Toll on His Life
Things have been really stressful for OP since he works at home and uses the car whenever he goes to the library to study after work. So, what his wife and mother-in-law are doing is messing up his routine.
Insights From Redditors
Redditors were quick to judge the situation and told OP to give his wife’s money back and divorce her.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole, but listen, you need to give her the money back and have a signed affidavit that, yes, she has all her inheritance in her own account. Then you need to contact a divorce attorney and get out of this terrible marriage before she takes you for everything.”
Another person said, “Not the a**hole. She sounds like you’ve been putting up with her for years too long. Give her the $3,000 back and kick her out. You’re still young. She’s not going to change.”
Beyond Monetary Issues
OP and his wife’s issues are more than the inheritance, and some people believe OP’s wife is only using him.
A Redditor commented, “Not the a**hole. I mean, OP, you have much bigger issues than this inheritance. You have a wife who refuses to work, who barely contributes, and who expects you to do everything. Does she at least take charge of all the household duties?”
“It’s one thing to be a stay-at-home wife if both parties agree to it. But it sounds like you have given in rather than agreed to it. You don’t even have kids, for Christ’s sake! Do you have any shared assets? Because get out now before you do, or you make more money. Talk to a lawyer now. She’s married to her mom, and you are their joint ATM,” the same commenter wrote.
Give It a Chance
One Redditor contradicted others who said OP should divorce his wife and suggested they try couple’s therapy first and figure things out together.
Someone said, “Not the a**hole. But maybe I missed it, so I have to ask: What does she think she’s contributing to the marriage? For example, is she doing all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, groceries, house and car maintenance, etc.?”
The same person added, “Also, and I’m going to get downvoted for this: Reddit is jumping too quickly to divorce. Maybe you guys should do some marriage counseling first. And I wonder if she’s depressed or maybe she thinks this is how a marriage is supposed to be. I don’t know. A marriage counselor can help you figure things out.”
What would you do if you were OP? Is giving the money back the right thing to do?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Return Half of His Jobless Wife’s Inheritance, Claiming He Deserved It Because He Pays Their Bills. She Wants Everything Back, but He’s Tired of Being Her ATM! on Quote Ambition.