His mom had always taken care of his grandma and catered to her every demand. So, when his grandmother died, everyone was shocked that she was left with absolutely nothing!
What She Wants, She Gets
OP (Original Poster) is a 24-year-old man with a grandmother and a 55-year-old mom. Unfortunately, these two women in his life have always had a “rocky relationship.”
His grandma could be “a lot to handle” and would try to “play the victim” when things didn’t go her way.
Losing a Husband and a Helping Hand
Several years before he posted this story, OP’s grandpa passed away, and after that, his grandma got even “more challenging.”
OP wrote, “My grandpa did all the cooking and handled anything related to technology, and after he passed, grandma would call on my mom to help if something went on the fritz or for any reason under the sun, honestly.”
Overstepping Her Bounds
For a while, OP’s mother was happy to assist her. However, his grandma started to demand help more frequently.
So, his mom told her she couldn’t come over constantly for minor reasons like the internet being unavailable for a bit or just because she needed to change her printer’s ink cartridge. However, his grandma would expect his mom to drop everything and come over immediately.
No Other Choice
OP’s mother lived in the same city as his grandma compared to his 59-year-old uncle, who lives across the country. Because he was too far away to help, she had always borne the brunt of his grandmother’s demands for help.
Quite recently, before OP shared this story, his grandmother passed away, and they found out that, in OP’s words, “She was worth a lot.” She left half of her money and her expensive house to OP’s uncle and left the rest to him and his 18-year-old sister.
There was nothing left for his mom and dad.
An Emotional Interaction
The night after knowing what was in his grandma’s will, OP found his mom crying in the backyard. He asked her if it was about the inheritance, and she said yes.
The Leading Cause
She was hurt that OP’s grandma cut her out of the will. OP didn’t know beforehand, but his mom suggested hiring a live-in help. Apparently, that upset his grandmother as she didn’t think she’d have to pay for help when his mother already lived so close.
OP wrote, “Mom said she started going over less but still made sure grandma was taken care of and okay. I can only assume that mom stepping back a bit is what caused grandma to cut her from the will.”
A Silver Lining
Regardless, OP’s mom was still glad that he and his sister received an inheritance and that at least his grandma didn’t “snub” all of them. His mother also told him that the money would have significantly helped with retirement, but she was happy that OP could go to school without worrying about debt.
Even so, she still couldn’t help but be upset.
The Obvious Difference
His uncle was annoyed after learning that OP’s mother was left with nothing. As a high-paid doctor, he doesn’t need the money left to him.
On the other hand, OP’s mother and father work lower-income jobs.
Everyone’s Pitching In
The night before OP posted this story, his uncle called his mom and told her that he and his wife agreed to sell OP’s grandma’s house and give her and her husband all the money from the sale.
Aside from that, OP’s sister will be sharing some of the money she inherited with their parents, too.
A Son’s Dilemma
With that, OP wonders if he’s an “a**hole” as he wants to keep everything his grandma left him. Though it wasn’t life-changing, it was undoubtedly substantial—enough for him to pay for medical school, buy a house, and still have money aside for living expenses while attending school.
He added, “I’ve had to take out loans to get by up until now, and I was seriously stressing over having to pay so much money back.”
Unfortunately, OP’s the only one who thinks he deserves to keep the money. In fact, his younger sister has been giving him a piece of her mind about him keeping the money for himself.
He wrote, “My sister has given me a little attitude about it, saying that the money should have been mom’s, but grandma was punishing her for not being at her beck and call and that keeping it all really wasn’t fair.”
Redditors’ Two Cents
Redditors believe that although OP is right, he should still consider giving some money to his mom.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole, given that you weren’t the one to choose who received what money. But your mom does deserve some financial help. I’m just confused as to why your grandma would want to leave behind a legacy like that, leaving your mom to question everything leading up to now. It’s not just finances hurting her right now, although it’s a big reason. It’s also the fact that her own mother willingly chose to leave nothing behind for her.”
The same user said, “It’s enough for her to know her children are taken care of financially for a while, but imagine how you’d feel if your mom did the same thing to you after death. That would suck. Although I would advise keeping a portion of the money for your medical school and some to help you get by, I would ponder maybe giving some of the money left behind to your mom, maybe combining some funds together with your sister.”
In Need of Meaningful Conversations
Some people then suggested OP talk to his mom because she’s the only one who can really answer the questions he has in mind.
“I think you really should talk to your mom about it. Ask her if the money from the house and from your sister is enough for her to retire comfortably. Would she rather take the money from you or that you use it for your education and future security? This is between you and your mom, and only she can tell you if you are the a**hole. Presumably, once you are settled after school, you would be there for your mom like she was for your gram. So your financial security is good for your mom also,” a commenter suggested.
A Son’s Duty?
Then, other users pointed out that maybe OP should prioritize his parents as well and remember what his parents did for him his whole life. For them, it might be time for OP to give back.
A Redditor wrote, “Not the a**hole, but think about all the times your parents sacrificed for you. Days off from work while you were sick. Denying themselves special things so that you could have everything you needed. So many things that you may not even know about. Couldn’t you put off buying a house for a couple of years to try and make things nicer for them?”
The same person added, “You’re not an a**hole if you don’t, and legally, of course, you have no obligation to, but wouldn’t it be nice to be able to say, ‘My mom isn’t crying on the back porch anymore because the people she loves cared enough to give her something she deserves, that will make her life a little easier?’ I think that would feel better than getting the fancy house right out of school.”
Should OP share his inheritance? If you were him, what would you do?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Share the Hefty Inheritance He Received From His Wealthy Grandma With His Mom, Who Was Disinherited as “Punishment.” Now His Family’s Shunning Him for Being So Selfish! on Quote Ambition.