OP (Original Poster) was expressing his thoughts and not forcing his opinions on anyone. But the woman he was seeing took it personally and just flipped!
Child-Free by Choice
OP is a 38-year-old who has been seeing a 35-year-old woman with three kids for a few months. Her kids are 15, 10, and 8, while he’s child-free by choice.
However, he noted that he’d love to become a stepdad one day.
Always Around Kids
Although he has no kids, OP was still constantly surrounded by children. He’s the oldest of four boys, and his youngest brother is 18 years younger than he is.
He’s been around kids since he was six, and now that his brothers have their own children, it’s like he somehow knew what it was like to care for them. OP added that he currently has six nieces and nephews.
A Comfortable Relationship
OP and the woman’s relationship had been going quite well. Her kids liked OP, and they’ve been doing “family activities together.”
He also gets invited to dinner, game nights, and more.
Friday Date Night
One Friday night, they were having dinner in an upscale Mexican restaurant, and there was a table of eight adults and a baby who was around two years old. Everything was fine until the baby started “screaming bloody murder” for 15 minutes straight.
OP wrote, “All gas, no brakes. The parents are acting like nothing is going on, completely ignoring it.”
Cluing Her In
The constant crying was just too much, and he wanted to share his thoughts. So, he told her, “This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think one of the parents should take their baby to the restroom or outside until they calm down. It’s kinda inconsiderate of everyone else around them.”
Flipping the Switch!
When OP said this, he said something “sparked” in her soul, and she “absolutely lost it.” Gone was the woman he was having a lovely time with, and it was replaced with someone enraged.
She told OP, “If you really feel that way, that just makes you a horrible human being.” Then, she accused OP of being a “male Karen” for even thinking that way about the parents and kids.
You’re to Blame!
She then started blaming OP for everything happening, saying it was because he didn’t have kids and didn’t know what it was like.
The woman added, “If you knew it could possibly offend me, then why even say it?” She told OP that she couldn’t trust him now because he might say something offensive or out of line to her parents or kids.
Listen to My Side
Dinner ended, and OP took her home. While they sat in her driveway, OP tried to explain that he’d been around kids his entire life, and though he didn’t have any children of his own, he “absolutely knows what it’s like.”
He explained, “I’ve had to take my youngest brother outside for the same reason multiple times growing up. If I’m at dinner with my family and one of my nieces or nephews starts losing it, I am the one that takes them out, so the mom and dad can have a break.”
Just His Take
OP then said that he was only expressing his opinion and that it shouldn’t be a big deal if she disagreed with what he thought. He also said this wouldn’t be an issue in their relationship because of her kids’ ages.
Anger Kept on Brewing
The woman, however, was just too upset. She continued telling OP “mean s***,” so he asked her to leave, and he drove home.
OP also shared that he was “gutted.”
Breaking It Off
In an edit, OP said that he already ended their relationship.
He wrote, “I did break it off. We had zero communication until Sunday when I called her and officially ended it. She just said, ‘Seriously?’ And hung up.”
Out of the Blue
OP also clarified that there wasn’t more to the story. They never fought about anything until that night.
He said this was a “curveball” that came out of the blue, and he was “completely blindsided.”
In Need of Validation
Then, OP said he turned to the community for some validation. He was confident in his opinion for the longest time, but how the woman reacted to things made him think.
He said, “She really did start to make me feel like I was an a**hole for thinking this way. I just wanted to make sure.”
Redditors’ Opinions
For Redditors, OP completely dodged a bullet. He was lucky to learn about this side of the woman early on.
One wrote, “Definitely not the a**hole. OP dodged a bullet if this woman is so selfish and inconsiderate that she expects everyone else to suffer because, ‘Oh my god, she has a kid.’ Grow up, lady, and learn how to control your own kids! It’s almost like she’s an entitled Karen trapped in a grown woman’s body.”
Another commented, “Not the a**hole. She wildly overreacted to you having common sense and saying something truthful. If she’s that mean already, maybe she isn’t the one for you.”
Think of the Future
People also reassured OP that ending their relationship was the right thing to do. If she reacted this way over something so simple, what would happen if they faced a more significant challenge down the line?
“What if they had a disagreement over something actually substantial, like finances, health issues, cohabitation, etc? With more pressure on the line, just how much more mean and reactive will she get? What if she’s drinking? If she can’t humble herself and listen or stay calm at all when given an opposing pov to consider, then a relationship with her will be unbearable. Not the a**hole, for sure.”
What would you tell OP? How would you react if screaming babies were in a restaurant?
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This post first appeared as He Told a Single Mom He’s Dating That Parents Should Take Screaming Babies Outside Until They’re Calm. She’s Livid, Accusing Him of Being a “Horrible Human” and a “Male Karen!” on Quote Ambition.
