This Redditor discovered she has a half-sister almost a decade older than her. After their dad died, she immediately asked for her share of the estate, but OP (Original Poster) refused to give her anything!
Something About Their Dad
OP’s family recently lost their father to cancer. Before meeting her mother, OP’s dad had an exciting life as a crew member for some “big hair bands” in his early 20s, so she said, “You can imagine what he got into.”
Dad’s Profound Jokes
OP’s father always used to joke that it wouldn’t be surprising if OP had a half-sibling somewhere because he couldn’t remember most of his time on the road.
He was joking, but OP knew that underneath all her dad’s humor, it always bothered him.
Testing It Out
Out of curiosity, OP and her siblings took a DNA test to see if there would be a match. For years, only cousins showed up and nothing more.
However, their world was turned upside down when someone reached out to them when her dad had already been diagnosed and was in hospice care.
A Joke That Has Come to Life
In the last six months of her father’s life, their DNA suddenly matched with a half-sister almost a decade older than OP; she was their oldest sibling. Their half-sister’s birth year aligned with their dad’s time on the road.
The Daughter He Couldn’t Support
Before responding to their half-sister’s message, they discussed it with their father, who was already very sick.
OP wrote, “When we told him, he broke down and said we confirmed his worst fear—that there was a child of his out there that he never got to help raise and support and that he wanted to speak to her as soon as possible. That’s when the trouble started.”
Being Open About the Situation
They gave their dad’s phone number to their half-sister and explained his condition to her. They also told her that he genuinely didn’t know she was out there until now.
Their Half-Sister’s Resentment
OP’s half-sister began calling their father constantly and harassing him. They could even hear her screaming through the phone sometimes with her demands of knowing why he abandoned her and her mom, why he never thought of looking for her, why he was so irresponsible, and so on.
OP said, “We begged him to hang up, but he never would. He said it was the only thing he could do for her this late in life—to listen.”
An Ugly and Greedy Heart
When their father passed away, they informed their half-sister. However, they were shocked and appalled that the only thing she did was demand to know what her share of his estate was.
Furious, OP simply said, “Nothing.”
There’s Nothing for You Here!
All of their father’s savings went to his medical expenses. After paying for his funeral and other things, OP and her siblings would only get $1,000 each.
OP added, “I also told her that the way she harassed my father on his deathbed was something I could never forgive. That it wasn’t his fault alone that she grew up without him. Her mother had a part to play as well.”
Firm Stance on the Issue
OP’s mom and siblings told her that she’s being inconsiderate of their half-sister’s feelings or what she must have felt growing up without a father. But OP’s dad left her in charge of his estate, and whatever the reason, she won’t give in.
According to OP, “Those were the last months of his life, and he was wrecked after every phone call with her.”
Is There Room for a Compromise?
OP’s family told her to give their half-sister what was left of the money since there wasn’t a big amount left anyway. They asked her to consider that their half-sister didn’t—and possibly still doesn’t—have a good life, from what she told them.
Still, OP can’t bring herself to give her half-sister anything.
Most Redditors believed that OP was not at fault. They said she was not obligated to give her half-sister anything, especially with her behavior toward OP and her family.
“Not the a**hole. I mean, if your father had wanted her to have something, he would have added her to the estate. He was talking to her, so it sounds like he was of sound mind if he had wanted to. Don’t give her any money. Stop taking her calls. It doesn’t sound like she wants to get to know you anyway. I get it; she’s angry, but that’s not your burden to bear,” a commenter said.
She’s Not Entitled to Anything!
Some Redditors even shared their life story of being in the same situation as OP’s half-sister. However, they would never demand something like she did.
One person shared, “Not the a**hole. I am the half-sister, and my father is dying of cancer. I have known him my whole life, and I don’t expect a dime from his passing. I never lived with him. His second wife and kids are his family. They have been through everything with him. They owe me nothing. She is selfish and an opportunist. It was not in his will, and he has passed. She should move on.”
They Should Have Been Prepared
On the other hand, some people think that OP and her family were irresponsible for doing a DNA test and expecting nothing bad to come out of it.
Someone commented, “Why on earth would you and your sister do a DNA test if you weren’t prepared for the possibility of finding an unknown sibling full of resentment and abandonment issues at having grown up without a dad?”
Another person added to the previous comment, saying, “And even if she wasn’t resentful, to begin with, can you imagine finally finding your father, but he’s literally about to die, so you get to know him for like a week?”
Was OP wrong? Should she have given the money to her half-sister?
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This post first appeared as Her Long-Lost Half-Sister Harassed Her Dad on His Deathbed, Then Demanded a Share of His Estate the Second He Died. She Adamantly Refused Because She’s Just a “Selfish Opportunist!” on Quote Ambition.