This Redditor had had enough of her mom making tasteless jokes about her fiancé. So, when her mother deliberately humiliated him in front of everyone again, she decided to uninvite her from her wedding!
OP (Original Poster) and her fiancé, Kevin, will be getting married soon after this story was posted. They had no issues with each other’s families, and OP even said, “My family loves Kevin, and Kevin loves them.”
However, OP’s mom had always been the “brutally honest” type who constantly shared her opinions—no holds barred. She says things about what people wear, how they look, their social status, and more.
She said they were mostly “negative, tasteless, backhanded comments.”
Accept Me for Who I Am
However, OP’s mom doesn’t seem to see the problem with her personality. She said she couldn’t help it and that “no one should be offended” because she was just being honest.
Meeting Her Future Son-In-Law
When OP’s mom met Kevin, she kept making a lot of comments about him, his car, his degree, and more!
Over time and after many serious conversations with her mom, OP got her to “show some respect.”
Nonstop Tasteless Jokes
However, her mother never really stopped. In fact, she kept annoying Kevin by constantly talking about his “hairless face.”
OP said, “His face is clean. He doesn’t have a beard or mustache, which he can be very insecure about. He comes from Irish origins, so he’s White. He has no facial hair, while I’m Hispanic.”
That’s Very Unmanly
OP’s mom and stepdad loved teasing Kevin about this, and they even said it was “unmanly” not to be able to grow a beard or mustache.
These comments hurt Kevin so much that OP had a “very, very stern conversation” with her mom. But her mom just said things like, “Oh, I didn’t realize those remarks were offending him; I was just teasing him,” or “You know me, I’m just giving my humble, honest opinion, so he shouldn’t take it personally and should learn that this is how I am.”
Apologies and Wedding Gifts
Her mom sincerely apologized for the remarks she’d made to Kevin, so they left the issue alone.
Then, with the wedding approaching, OP’s mom decided to give Kevin a wedding gift. She said it was also to let him know how sorry she was for her past behavior.
Chaos During the Family Dinner
OP’s mom invited their whole family for dinner and decided it was the perfect time to hand Kevin her wedding gift. When she did, Kevin thanked her, but her mom insisted he opened the gift right then and there.
She wanted to show everyone what she got since “she knew him that well already.” However, when Kevin opened the gift, he saw a set of shaving tools with shaving cream.
No Going Back Now
Kevin stared blankly at the gift for a couple of seconds. Then, OP’s stepdad took the gift and showed it to everyone.
Her mom and the rest of her family laughed while her stepdad said, “You get the joke, Kev? You get it?” Then, OP’s 31-year-old brother started running around the table, laughing with everyone.
Kevin had had enough at this point, so he stood up and walked out. OP was livid and asked her mom why she humiliated Kevin in front of everyone.
Her mom said she was just “messing with him” and that OP should “relax.” However, OP wouldn’t let this go; she told her mom that she knew how Kevin felt about this topic and insisted that she apologize to Kevin.
I’m Uninviting You!
However, her mom refused to do so and said that she wasn’t “responsible” for Kevin’s reaction; she added that she thought Kevin would laugh along. OP angrily said, “No apology, no wedding invitation, period,” and walked out, too!
OP’s mom freaked out and called her, saying they “overreacted to a joke.”
That’s So Stupid!
Her brother also said OP was “crazy” to exclude their mom from her wedding “over something so stupid.” OP added, “He said Kevin should get over it since it was a joke.”
However, OP wasn’t going to give in. She refused to send an invitation and withheld it unless her mom apologized.
You’re Being Unreasonable
Her family is mad, telling her she was being “unreasonable” for choosing this to be her hill to die on. They even accused her of being “disrespectful” for how she treated her mom, but OP believed she did nothing wrong!
Everyone’s in It
OP noted that it wasn’t just her mom making Kevin uncomfortable.
She wrote, “I’d like to point out that my brother, stepdad, and uncle sometimes take part in teasing Kevin. My brother, who’s 31 years old, would sometimes either brag about his goatee mustache in front of Kevin or tell an indirect silly joke about this topic which would irritate Kevin and just spoil any family gathering we have.”
The Community’s Reactions
For Redditors, OP should uninvite everyone who was rude to her fiancé.
One suggested, “Not the a**hole. Tell your brother, mother, etc., that the whole wedding was rescheduled and at another venue. When they complain that they missed your wedding, just say, ‘It’s just a joke! You should get over it; I was just messing with you.’” Another replied, “This person has the right idea. I like this thought. We need more suggestions for revenge!”
Other Redditors shared their thoughts on how to get back at OP’s family.
One said, “Invite them over for dinner, saying you want to make up and that it’s all good. At the end of dinner, have Kevin present your mom a card, and in it, it’s a ‘You’re not invited card.’ See how funny she thinks it is when you’re serious.”
A More Serious Concern
On the other hand, some users urged OP to think very carefully about how she would resolve this issue.
“What’s entirely possible is that the wedding may be called off because the guy seriously rethinks whether he can spend his life being diminished by these a**holes. OP is not only not the a**hole, but if she doesn’t step up and be 100% on his side here, then he’ll never be able to trust her to be his supportive partner,” commented one user. Another noted, “This. If I were Kevin, I would call it off. Things are not going to get better; they can only get worse. OP’s family is not going to change. I know the type and have dealt with my fair share. Kevin will always be an outsider; everything will be done to remind him of this fact at every opportunity.”
What do you have to say about this issue? Do you think OP needs to do more?
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This post first appeared as Her Mother Deliberately Humiliated Her Fiancé at a Family Dinner and Made Him the Laughingstock in Front of Everyone. So, She Banned Her From Her Wedding! on Quote Ambition.