She’s had enough of her mother-in-law’s disrespect and criticism and thought she knew her limits. However, she didn’t know that she was only getting started!
Typical In-Law Problems
OP (Original Poster) is married to a loving and supportive husband. Sadly, she didn’t luck out as much in the in-law department.
In fact, she has a 63-year-old mother-in-law who has a constant problem with respecting people’s boundaries and being inappropriate.
Can’t Take Her Anymore
There were so many instances where she had done such things. As a piece of evidence, OP said that one of her mother-in-law’s sons and her daughter-in-law refused to speak with her.
They uninvited her from their wedding after she insisted that a particular family member be invited. They already had a weak relationship, and that was the final straw.
Complying With Her Demands
Then, another instance happened before she and her husband got married. The last time they visited home, which was a plane ride away, during the holidays, OP had to spend the week seeing her family by herself without her 36-year-old husband of five years, who was just her fiancé then.
This is because her mother-in-law couldn’t accept that they would divide time between families in two separate regions of the island. OP wrote, “We had to each go our way because she just wouldn’t stop arguing about it. I have never returned in the holiday season again because of this.”
She’s Such a Drag
When OP and her husband got married, they asked his mother to arrive on a specific date as they were still preparing. OP was also taking licensure tests until two days before the big day.
But OP’s mother-in-law didn’t respect their request and came early, so OP had to focus on their arrival rather than her exam. She said, “I passed, but I was stressed.”
Then, just recently, OP’s baby was born, and he is now 14 weeks old. Her husband’s mother was upset that she couldn’t stay with them and that OP wanted her mom instead.
But OP argued, “She is very vocal about other people’s bodies and has always been mean to me, so I did not want her near me. I needed kindness to surround me.”
A New Mother’s Appearance
A few weeks after giving birth, OP’s mother-in-law told her she looked like a “junkie.” She just had a C-section, so she lost a lot of blood and was very anemic.
OP added, “She made comments about me no longer having a belly from pregnancy, and what if I did? Who is keeping score, and why is that your problem?”
Shut It, Mom!
Not long ago, OP’s husband told his mom to stop making inappropriate comments about other people’s bodies and appearances. She was offended, saying everything she spits out is “ill-taken.”
OP wrote, “They were coming for Thanksgiving to spend a week and meet their grandson, and I’ve been dreading it because things are so tense.”
Targeting the Newborn
But then, everything started going downhill the day before OP shared this story. Her mother-in-law “inquired” what they feed their baby, telling them they should give him water and juice.
However, OP explained that they had already told her before that they’d have to wait for the baby to get older for that. Eventually, she got to her point, saying OP’s son was “fat.”
Not Fat but Healthy!
OP was simply appalled by this statement. She said her baby is big, which means he is tall, doing great, thriving, and every single time, the doctors say he is perfect and have no concerns about his weight.
Defending the Poor Baby
Even then, her mother-in-law insisted that her son was fat even though her husband had already told her to stop and keep her opinions to herself. He reiterated that their son is proportional to his weight, looks great, and is healthy.
A Piece of Unsolicited Advice
Despite what he said, she continued and told them to take photos from afar so the baby wouldn’t look fat. After that, OP’s husband hung up on his mother and messaged them not to come for Thanksgiving.
Hurting for Her Child
When OP found out what her mother-in-law said, she cried.
She wrote, “Who speaks like this about a baby? What is there to hide by taking a photo from far away? He is a gorgeous baby, happy and healthy. Even if he was overweight, that was not her problem or something to hide. What kind of sick mind would say something like this? Has anyone experienced anything like this and can give advice?”
The thing is, OP’s mother-in-law is actually overweight, but no one comments on it because that is her body and her problem. Still, OP doesn’t understand where her standards are coming from.
She said, “He is an infant! I’m so enraged! I’m sad for my husband. He doesn’t deserve this. Don’t mess with my son. That’s the line, and she crossed it. We walked through hell to have our son through IVF. Her other son doesn’t speak to her and doesn’t want children. We’re likely not to be able to have another. So this was it for her, her only grandson, and she behaves like this?”
The Community’s Pieces of Advice
Apparently, OP is not the only one who has a judgmental mother-in-law. Also, some Redditors believe OP’s husband’s mother is troubled herself, and she’s projecting her feelings onto others.
One person said, “I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Thank goodness your husband has your back. My mother-in-law was the same way, and she always opened a conversation with comments on a person’s looks, good or bad. I never understood it.”
The same one added, “Your mother-in-law sounds like a deeply wounded person. Remember, hurt people hurt people. You are 100% not the a**hole. Enjoy your beautiful baby, and give your husband the biggest hug.”
All a Part of Growth
One person shared that all babies are different; as they grow, their bodies change. It’s completely normal.
A Redditor said, “Ignore her. My younger son was not heavy at birth, but he was long. As a toddler, he was what we call a ‘brick house.’ He was sturdy as heck, actually quite a chub. As he grew, he would put on a lot of weight and then shoot up. I fed the kids mostly homemade food because it was way cheaper. When my younger son turned 15, he shot up like a d***** weed, and I couldn’t keep him full.”
The same commenter wrote, “Babies look how they look. I’ve seen skinny babies, fat babies, and ‘regular-sized’ babies. Once puberty hits, all bets are off. As long as your kid isn’t obese, feed them what their body needs.”
Do you also have an in-law like OP’s? What advice can you give her?
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This post first appeared as Her Overbearing Mother-In-Law Body-Shamed Her Three-Month-Old Son, Saying He’s “Fat” and They Need to Take His Photos From “Far Away.” Tired of Her Nonstop Criticism, She Banned Her From Thanksgiving! on Quote Ambition.