A mom tragically lost one of her newborns months after she gave birth. Now, her sister made a messed-up tribute by stealing her late daughter’s name, and everything’s a mess in their family!
Bonded for Life
OP (Original Poster) is a 28-year-old mom who gave birth to twins 2 years before this story was posted.
Her kids seemed to be as healthy as could be when they were born, but she would soon find out one of them wasn’t.
How Fragile Life Is!
One of her twins, Indie, suffered a seizure and never got to come home. OP wrote, “For eight months, she’d go from getting better to worse again.”
The Final Goodbye
Then, soon after that, they got the news that Indie would never get better again. She “slipped away peacefully” in OP’s arms, and it was something she would never forget.
A Memorial in Her Name
Understandably, OP and her husband’s families were devastated by Indie’s loss.
However, because her in-laws were crafty, they made a beautiful memorial frame for Indie. She shared, “They kept one themselves and gave them to my husband and I and my parents.”
In Memory of Her
Since then, OP’s parents have displayed theirs in their living room. They wanted everyone who visited them to see Indie’s memorial.
Her parents also lit candles under the memorial on the twins’ birthday and Indie’s death anniversary.
Hurtful or Honorable?
Then, the May before this story was posted, OP’s sister gave birth to her first child. Lo and behold, she named her daughter Indie, too!
OP wrote, “I’ll confess that I have been unable to look at it as some beautiful tribute because it’s difficult to hear the name used for another little girl in the family other than my Indie. But I have kept that to myself.”
Time to Move On?
Then, a few months after her daughter’s birth, OP’s sister started getting bothered by the fact that their parents kept Indie’s memorial up when “her Indie” would see it whenever she was there.
OP’s sister said it was “morbid and gross” to do to her daughter, who will grow up feeling “very weird” that her name was on a memorial at her grandparents’ house.
Think Before You Act!
OP’s parents, however, weren’t keen on putting down the memorial. They told her she should have thought of the exact concerns she was voicing now before she named her daughter Indie.
Then, her sister replied, “OP doesn’t own that name, and I should be allowed to use a name I love.”
When OP’s parents refused to budge, her sister came to her. She told OP that the memorial bothered her and was sure it would also upset her daughter in the years to come.
OP’s sister wanted her to tell their parents to remove the memorial, but OP refused.
That’s Her Memory!
Sadly, her sister pushed and pushed and pushed until OP could no longer take it. She said, “I told her I did not want my daughter’s memory tucked away forever.”
She’s Dead, Plain and Simple!
As if she couldn’t get any more insensitive, OP’s sister yelled at her and told her that her Indie was gone. She told OP that there was a “living, breathing Indie” who deserved to feel “comfortable” in her grandparents’ house.
OP shared, “I told my sister to get the f*** out of my face.”
Playing With Her Emotions
Sadly, her sister didn’t stop there. She told OP she was a “total a**hole” for putting the “memory of Indie before Indie.”
OP’s sister also said it would only “confuse” her son in the future when his twin’s tribute becomes “messed up” with his only maternal cousin.
Battle of the Wills
Her sister said that though OP didn’t like that she used “Indie” for her daughter, she wouldn’t be changing her name.
She also told OP she should have the “decency” to care about her child. So, now OP’s asking if she’s being the “a**hole” in this scenario.
What Redditors Think
For people in the community, OP’s parents summed everything up perfectly.
A top commenter said, “‘My parents told her she should have thought of that before she named her daughter Indie.’ This right here. Not the a**hole. Good on the parents for shutting down her bulls***. Sister sounds pretty awful; I can only imagine what other sort of drama she surrounds herself with.”
Her Jealousy’s Seeping Through
Most Redditors think that OP’s sister was jealous, and this is her way to steal her parents’ attention.
One user said, “I think sister named her kid this as the parents gave too much attention to OP, and now she wants to replace Indie with another one and wipe out the first one so the focus will be on her. What will actually happen is one day, her daughter is going to realize she has the name of her dead cousin and her mother is not a nice person.”
“I’m so happy to see parents like these! The sister sounds jealous of OP or the attention that Indie was and still is getting. I might be reaching, but I feel like that was the reason she chose the name,” commented another woman
What a Manipulative Woman!
No matter what angle one looks at things, it is obvious that OP’s not in the wrong. For Redditors, OP’s sister is 100% the one at fault.
One man said, “It’s all manipulation with this woman. First, she goes to the parents, expecting them to fall in line and remove the memorial, which would indirectly hurt OP again. When that didn’t work, and she got shut down, she took it directly to OP. The next phase will be to frame OP’s refusal as her being jealous and spiteful of the niece since the ‘original’ Indie passed away and spread that around to the rest of the family, including her in-laws. Anyone who bites will just add to the bullying and manipulation.”
He continued, saying, “For what it’s worth, OP is not the a**hole and should start preparing for the public escalation that her sister is going to initiate.”
What would you tell OP’s sister? Do you think OP’s wrong in any way?
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This post first appeared as Her Sister Stole the Name She Gave Her Late Daughter and Now Wants Their Parents to Remove Her Memorial. She Refused, Saying, “I Don’t Want Her Memory Tucked Away Forever!” on Quote Ambition.