This Redditor never expected that his dad would steal the money his late mom left him for his stepdaughter. Was he wrong to turn his back on him when his father asked for more money?
Safeguarding His Future
OP’s (Original Poster) mom died when he was seven. She was an only child, and OP’s grandparents had passed away long before he was born.
So, to ensure her son is set up for the future, she left her estate to OP’s dad with money in an account for his future.
Spiraling Down Into Depression
OP’s dad took his mom’s death hard; he fell apart. So, OP went to live with his aunt because his dad wasn’t doing well.
He said, “I basically lost both parents in one go.”
Trying to Get Back Up
His dad visited occasionally, but after two years, he came to get OP. During this time, his dad had met his stepmother and “wanted a family again.”
However, OP said he wished his dad never came to get him.
A Not-So-Evil Stepmother
OP’s stepmom wasn’t so bad; he even said she “wasn’t a terrible person.” For OP, she was “actually pretty nice.”
His stepmother never tried replacing his mom, and she always tried to be fair when dealing with OP and her daughter, who was the same age as him.
His Dad Was the Problem
However, OP’s dad didn’t act the same way. Unlike his stepmom, his dad would “overcompensate” a lot, making it seem like he didn’t treat OP as he treated his stepdaughter.
OP wrote, “He would give my stepsister anything to try and win her over. The year we turned 16, he bought us a car to share. But she monopolized it and would only let me have it when her mom insisted I get a turn. My dad would tell me to just let her have it.”
OP ended up not using the car at all. He also wanted to leave the house as soon as possible, so he got scholarships and graduated from college.
He then planned to buy a house so he could be independent. So, he asked his dad about the money she had left him.
Almost None Left
Since he planned on using the money to make a downpayment on a house, OP expected there would be a lot in the account. However, his dad told him there was only around $5,000 left.
OP couldn’t believe that there was only around $5,000 left. He said he received an allowance from his dad while studying, so he didn’t have to go to work.
However, for him, it shouldn’t have brought his funds down that much.
Later, OP found out that his dad used his money to pay for his stepsister’s college and give her an allowance. He also used OP’s money to pay for his stepdaughter’s car insurance.
Let’s Get Things Straight
OP was furious—and he still was, understandably. He asked his dad to show him the account, and he saw that there was only a little over $6,000 left.
He took it all and used it to get an apartment. OP never went back to his dad’s house.
The Best Revenge
People say that the best revenge is to show the people who hurt you that you’re doing well in life, and that’s precisely what OP did.
He shared, “I have done well since and finally own my own home. I am married to an amazing woman, and we are building a great life together.”
The Complete Opposite
On the flip side, OP’s stepsister is a “screw-up.” He mentioned that she was recently arrested for drunk driving; it was not her first run-in with the law, so she was having a trial.
He shared, “If she completes an inpatient treatment for her alcoholism, she may get probation rather than incarceration.”
Because his stepsister didn’t have her own money and his dad didn’t have money left to help her, he approached OP. However, he refused and told his dad, “No, thank you.”
His dad threatened OP that if he didn’t help them, he’d have to mortgage his childhood home. However, OP told him he could have all the money his mom left for him.
Angry Dad, Indifferent Son
OP’s dad is mad at him, saying he doesn’t understand what he went through all these years to get where he is now. In turn, OP told him that “neither he nor the kid he sucked up to with his money was his problem.”
Rubbing It in His Face
OP said he knew there was a good chance he was the a**hole in this story because he rubbed it in his dad’s face that he stole his money.
He shared, “I offered my father all the money left in my inheritance from my mom to help my stepsister. I mean that I might be the a**hole because he has already stolen all of it to suck up to her. I basically told him to pound sand even though I could afford to help.”
The Community’s Take on the Matter
The community believed OP didn’t do anything wrong. Some even think he was being generous.
One said, “He is lucky you didn’t seek legal advice back when you found out about the theft. He could be in jail for that. Rubbing it in his face is minor by comparison.” Another shared, “If you sue for embezzlement and put a lien on the house, it would be a lot harder for him to mortgage the house.”
You’ve Sacrificed Enough
In line with what most Redditors are saying, this user reassured OP that he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to.
He said, “You’re looking out for yourself and your wife and the life you are building. Your father threw you—financially—under the bus without a second thought. Think about your wording here; you’re worried about rubbing his theft in his face. He did something awful to you, and it doesn’t sound like he was even apologetic about it. Had he not stolen the money from you and had he not treated you poorly in her favor, sure, maybe you’d be more amenable to giving her money for rehab. But that’s not the case. You’re absolutely not the a**hole, and I don’t think you’re rubbing his face in it at all. You’ve already sacrificed—without having had a choice—for her. Why would you want to willingly sacrifice more now?”
What do you think OP should do? Any advice?
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This post first appeared as His Father Stole the Education Fund His Late Mom Left Him So He Could Spoil His Stepdaughter. Now, His Dad Needs More Money, but He Says, “It’s Not My Problem!” on Quote Ambition.