This young Redditor had already lost so much, and now her relationship with her dad was crumbling—all because of the college fund she shared with her late sister!
Joint College Fund
OP (Original Poster) is a 17-year-old with a college fund started by her paternal and maternal grandparents, with some of the money coming from her parents.
She shared that the college fund was initially meant to be split between her and her sister, but she and their mom died four years before this story was posted.
One for Two
Because of this, OP’s grandparents chose to leave everything to her instead. They took care of the account and continued putting money into it.
Dad’s Second Marriage
However, to everyone’s surprise, OP’s dad married OP’s now stepmom 18 months after her mom and sister passed away. He now has a stepdaughter, OP’s stepsister, who’s the same age as her sister would be if she were alive.
A Heartbreak Kept Hidden
In an edit, OP explained that it absolutely broke her heart when this happened.
She wrote, “I knew I would get s*** for voicing how I felt. But it sucked. He has handled everything in the worst possible way, and I hold some resentment toward him for it.”
They Could Never Be Replaced
Though she believed her dad deserved happiness, it was hard for her to accept the marriage. OP had been “drowning in grief” since she lost her mom and sister.
So, knowing that he could replace his wife and daughter “so soon” after they lost them “sucked.” She wrote, “It hurts me. But he would see me as a brat if I told him this. I already expect people to say that when they read this.”
Getting to Know Her Stepsister
OP’s new stepsister is a high school senior, and their family has started talking about her attending college. Before her mom met OP’s dad, she was single and never had to create a college fund before.
So, though they have something saved, it’s not nearly enough to cover her university expenses.
Split the Bill!
As if it was natural, OP’s dad turned to her, asking her to split her college fund with her stepsister.
OP wrote, “He said it was always intended to be for two people, and my sister would want her money to be used by someone in the family.”
I Am Her Family!
OP started getting mad, and she told her dad that the money would be used by someone in the family—her, her sister’s sister. He started trying to manipulate OP’s thoughts, saying her stepsister is their sister, too, but OP just said no.
She wrote, “I only have one sister. This is how I feel.”
The One and Only
OP acknowledged the possibility of people “giving her s***” for what she said. But for her, she only had one sibling, which was how things would always be.
She noted that it was not personal against her stepsister, but all things considered, they weren’t family beyond her mom being married to OP’s dad.
It’s an Order!
At some point, OP’s dad tried to intimidate her into giving in. OP noted that her dad said he was “telling” her she needed to share the money, not asking.
But again, OP refused.
On the Hunt for More Allies
When it didn’t work, OP’s dad tried talking to his parents—-OP’s paternal grandparents. However, they told him the college fund was for OP since her sister could no longer use it.
Then, he went to her maternal grandparents since they were the ones who initially set up the account. But again, he’s left defeated after they told him they had “no obligation” to fund OP’s stepsister’s education because she “isn’t their granddaughter.”
Just One More Try
Being refused twice by both sides, OP’s dad is back to “trying to force” her to say yes. This time, his wife and stepdaughter, OP’s stepmom and stepsister, also joined in, telling her it was “the right thing to do.”
They said that it was “what they do for family.”
Late Sister’s Wishes?
They even went as far as involving OP’s late sister in the discussion, saying that she would want OP to help her stepsister.
OP noted, “This p***** me off because they never met my sister, let alone know what she would want.”
In an edit, OP shared that she doesn’t worry about her dad getting his hands on the money. She said she knew she wouldn’t be forced into doing so, and she would be gone soon.
Even so, she knows everything about this issue had already “really hurt” her relationship with her dad. It was so bad that she didn’t even know if a relationship would still exist in a year.
Grieving Cut Ties
In the following year, OP would be 18, and she could live her own life and “get some peace from all of this.”
She wrote, “I’ll finish high school at my grandparents’ probably since that’s where I plan to move to once I can just leave this house. It makes me sad, but I lost so much already. I’m going to be okay. It will just take some time.”
Users advised OP to reach out to her grandparents for help. This isn’t something she needs to fight alone.
A top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. I would tell your grandparents what is happening and get them to put a stop to it. Your dad and stepmother are trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty, and now they’ve roped your stepsister into it, too. Do not give in, please, but it is downright awful that they’re forcing you to choose.”
“What the father and stepmother are doing is disgusting. The grandparents even clarified to the father that the funds are for OP’s exclusive use. Yet, he is still attempting to convince OP otherwise. The father is stepping on so many boundaries without any regard for OP’s wishes, feelings, and consideration. I don’t fault OP for cutting contact as soon as she leaves for college,” said another user.
A Bad Dad
With how he’s acting, some users called OP’s dad out, saying he’s not being a good father to his own child.
“Sounds like he puts his needs above his child’s. The stepmom is probably asking for the money, and to keep the stepmom happy, he is nagging his kid for the college money. It’s probably not the first time this kid has felt this way. Not surprised she does not consider the steps as family,” commented one woman.
Another said, “He sounds awful. Also, I know you need to consider your spouse, but not when it impinges on your child’s well-being and crosses serious boundaries like he’s doing here. He sounds like a manipulative jerk. If he’s so concerned about the stepdaughter’s education, he can start a fund himself with his own money. No one’s stopping him.”
What advice would you give OP? Do you think her dad’s being unfair?
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This post first appeared as Her Dad Demanded She Split Her and Her Late Sister’s College Fund With Her Stepsister. She Refused, Saying, “I Only Have One Sibling; That’s How It Will Always Be!” on Quote Ambition.