This user loved his stepson like his own. So, when his mom kept pushing him to destroy the relationship they’d built as father and son, he made sure to put her in her place!
His Soon-To-Be Family
OP (Original Poster) met his fiancé, Amy, seven years before this story was posted. When they met, Amy’s son, Jason, was only 11 months old, and she’d already broken up with his dad.
Now Jason is eight, and OP loves him as if he were his biological child; for him, there’s no “step” relationship, and Jason’s simply his son. He wrote, “He calls his dad, ‘Dad or Daddy’ and me, ‘Pa.’”
Sadly, OP’s mom didn’t like the idea of him being with someone who already had a child with someone else. She succumbed to society’s views and forced them on OP.
Standing His Ground
However, OP wouldn’t have it. He and his mom fought about it during the first two years of their relationship until OP threatened to stop talking to her if she didn’t accept Amy and Jason in his life.
Letting It Go—for Now
OP’s mom felt threatened and didn’t want to lose her son. So, she let things go and “didn’t bring it up ever again.”
OP then shared that he proposed to Amy four months before this story was posted. When they announced their engagement, OP’s mom volunteered to pay for half of the wedding, and they accepted her offer.
Stipulations and Conditions
However, her help didn’t come without any strings attached.
OP wrote, “The issue was my mom saying Jason shouldn’t be at the wedding because it would be just as weird as if her ex was there.”
Her logic and explanation confused OP and his fiancé. They didn’t understand how the two dots connected since Jason was a huge part of both of their lives!
He added, “It’s our wedding, so of course he’s gonna be part of it. That was a hard no from both of us.”
Deal or No Deal?
OP had already refused, but his mom wouldn’t give up and tried to bring it up a couple more times. In the end, she pulled the “I’m paying for your wedding, so I’m allowed to decide” card.
At this point, OP was dumbfounded and absolutely furious!
An Underhanded Offer
He was mad that his mom was using the fact that she was helping pay for their wedding to “keep their eight-year-old from being there” at their own wedding.
Because of this, OP just decided to return the money his mom gave him.
His Final Decision
OP paid her back down to the last cent. After doing so, he told his mom she was no longer invited to his wedding!
A Furious and Hurt Mom
After hearing about her son’s decision, OP’s mom couldn’t stop crying. She tried guilting OP, saying that he’s “heartless” for excluding her.
For his mom, this was a “huge milestone” in her life. OP added, “To her, it’s not the same if Jason missed it because he’s a kid, not a parent.”
Too Far or Just Right?
OP’s relatives think he’s right that his mom went too far by wanting to exclude his stepson. However, they also think he’s an “a**hole” for uninviting her.
For them, since he returned all her money, she no longer has any say, and therefore, OP could invite her.
Questions Plaguing His Mind
OP’s “so mad” about it and doesn’t want to see his mom after she tried to “control things” like that.
He said, “Am I being an a**hole? It’s a stupid thing to ask, I know. But my mom’s been an important person in my life, and I’m not sure if perhaps I overreacted.”
The Community’s Pieces of Advice
OP’s mom’s actions were uncalled-for, and it was only right for OP to set some boundaries.
“Not the a**hole. Your mother is acting like a monster to a literal child. She can kick rocks. Why would you want such a nasty and hateful person anywhere near your son or your future wife on such an important day? You did the right thing,” shared a commenter.
Another commented, “OP definitely did the right thing. His mother was the one with the issue; if she isn’t above pulling a stunt like this in the planning phase, then she wouldn’t be above causing a scene or doing something nasty to OP’s son at the wedding. I hope he hires security for the day if she tries to crash the ceremony.”
You Should Be Proactive!
Some Redditors also suggested that OP limit his mom’s contact with his family as early as now.
One user wrote, “You should start going no contact now before any biological children are in the picture; if you think she’s hateful to poor Jason now, imagine if she had ‘real grandbabies’ or some bulls*** like that? Protect this kid. Not the a**hole.”
This user said, “My first thought was I would never let her watch my child. If she acts like that to their face, imagine how she would treat him when it’s just her. I’m not suggesting she would physically abuse him, but he definitely wouldn’t enjoy being around her.”
What do you think? Did OP do the right thing?
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This post first appeared as His Mom Refused to See His Eight-Year-Old Stepson at His Wedding. Furious, He Uninvited Her From His Big Day and Returned All Her Money. Now He’s Called a “Heartless Jerk!” on Quote Ambition.