This mom and her husband saved as much as they could for their daughter’s college education. But now that she’s taking a gap year, she refuses to give her money to buy a car!
All Grown Up
OP’s (Original Poster) daughter is 17 and is currently in her senior year of high school. She’s all grown up, and OP couldn’t be happier.
In the Bank
Since she was a newborn, OP and her husband have been saving up for her college education. Currently, they have $200,000 in the account.
A Gap Year
Then, she recently told OP and her dad that she doesn’t want to do the “traditional” route of going to a four-year college straight out of high school.
Living Her Life
OP’s daughter told them she wanted to take some time off from her education and get a job first.
You Only Live Once
She also wanted to figure out, first and foremost, if she really wanted to further her studies.
Though this wasn’t what OP expected, it was 100% fine with her.
She wrote, “I support her no matter what path she decides to take.”
Encountering a Problem
However, the problem is that OP’s daughter is now asking if OP could still give her her college fund. OP’s daughter explained that she wanted to buy a new car, “amongst other things.”
Saving for the Future
Unsurprisingly, OP refused to do so. She told her daughter that if she eventually wanted to go to school, she wanted to be sure there was still enough cash.
OP added, “I still want there to be money left in the account, so I’m going to hold on to it for a bit longer.”
Her refusal made her daughter furious. She started saying she was “entitled” to the money because it was “meant for her.”
OP’s daughter said that she should still be able to have the money, even if she doesn’t want to go to college.
The comments section overflowed with support for OP.
The top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. My niece took a gap year because she didn’t want to go the traditional route. But in her senior year, she applied to colleges, was accepted, and had a start date in the following year. Her parents gave her no help for the gap year and let her experience life as a high school graduate. When the date for orientation came the following year, she was very happy to go to college. It was so easy because everything had been set up in her senior year, and she just had to show up.”
Another summed things up shortly but sweetly, saying, “Called college funds for a reason. Not the a**hole.”
Other parents on the thread also shared their own experiences when it came to their kids’ education.
“The money that OP saved was for college, and if she truly didn’t plan to go to college, then it would have been used to pay for some trade school. My daughter went into a cosmetology program, and we paid for her education there. I guess if the college or program were far from your home, then buying a car with some of the money would make sense, but just handing a pile of money over to a teenager sounds like a bit of a mistake. Not the a**hole,” said one Redditor.
Then, other commenters shared that though OP wasn’t a jerk, she could still give her daughter some options.
One user wrote, “Not the a**hole, but I think it could also conceivably be used for trade school, certifications, and educational pursuits. College isn’t the only way. Tell her the money is there for her betterment, but she has to present her case. My friend did this and was able to use some ‘college funds’ to become a licensed massage therapist. She is very happy in her career.”
Then, others pointed out that no matter what, the college fund was OP and her husband’s money. They could decide what to do with it.
This Redditor said, “If it’s for college, it’s for college. If she chooses not to go, then you can decide what to do with it as it’s your money. It’s not her money. Not the a**hole.”
A woman shared, “If she decides not to go to college, then the money stays with OP. It’s that simple. She tried to run a game on OP by telling her, ‘I need time to think about college,’ while, in the meantime, she wanted the money! Girl, bye! No college, no money! Not the a**hole.”
Do you think her daughter deserves the money? What would you tell OP’s daughter?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Give Her 17-Year-Old Daughter Her $200,000 College Fund Because She Wanted to Use It to Buy a Car. Now Her Child’s Saying She’s “Entitled to the Money!” on Quote Ambition.