This woman turned to the community to ask if blowing up on her fiancé regarding his daughter’s assets was wrong. Well, Redditors think she’s the jerk, not him!
A New Ring on Her Finger
OP (Original Poster) is a 28-year-old with a 38-year-old fiancé. He proposed to OP the week before this story was posted, but they’ve already been dating for two years.
Creating a Blended Family
They both came from previous relationships, and OP’s fiancé’s former wife passed away five years before this story was posted.
OP has a 6-year-old son, while her fiancé’s daughter is already 16.
Master Bedroom Takeover
When OP and her fiancé first started dating, she noticed that his daughter had the master bedroom of the house. She said, “I found it weird because I’ve never seen a child taking over the master bedroom before.”
However, when she asked her fiancé about it, he just brushed it off and said the house was “hers.”
A Serious Miscommunication
Her fiancé said that since it was her house, it was normal that she slept in the master bedroom. OP said he offered “no further explanation,” so she thought he meant that the house would go to her daughter as an inheritance from when he passed away.
This was, in OP’s opinion, still weird because her fiancé was still alive and healthy.
None of My Business
However, during that time, she didn’t say anything more, nor did she try to have him explain things further. They were only beginning their relationship, and at the time, it was, frankly, none of her business.
It’s a Different Story
Now that they’re engaged, for OP, it’s 100% her business. So, she told her fiancé that she wanted to move into the house and live together for a while before they decided on the wedding date.
OP wrote, “He said that we could do it or we could get our own house now because we will have to do it regardless.”
OP needed clarification; the house was perfectly fine. So, she asked him what was wrong with staying there, and he, again, said nothing was wrong, but it was his daughter’s.
Now OP started getting upset. She wrote, “I said it wasn’t fair he called it his daughter’s when we were about to get married, and he was supposed to adopt my son. So now the house should be theirs and not only hers; I also said I wanted his daughter out of the master because it was ours.”
Uncovering the Truth
Her fiancé looked uncomfortable and a “little nervous” and said the house they lived in belonged to his late wife. When she passed, the house became his daughter’s.
OP shared, “He has enough money for maybe 60% of a house, but we will have to pay off the rest together.”
Just Take It!
OP was shocked but then suggested something that would escalate their argument.
She told her fiancé he “could just ask his daughter for the house” since she’s only 15 and he’s her dad. However, OP’s fiancé was firm in his refusal and reiterated that the house was his daughter’s.
Making Things Worse
As if their argument couldn’t get worse than it was, OP called her fiancé a “jerk” because he “should have told OP the truth.” However, in so many ways, her fiancé did; she just didn’t understand what he said.
OP added, “He said that it’s not like we will be homeless or anything; we still have three years and maybe four after that because his daughter will leave for college. He said he has always known he has to move out, and that’s why he saved.”
OP was so mad that she asked her fiancé what else belonged to his daughter that she wasn’t aware of. He said his car—the car OP always uses—will be hers when she leaves for college.
After hearing this, she called him a “jerk” again and immediately stormed out of the house with her son to her parents’ house.
A Gold Digger’s Attitude
She told her brother about what she argued about with her fiancé. However, she didn’t expect his reaction.
He just laughed at her because she “talked and acted like a gold digger.” Her brother then said she was an “a**hole” for what she did and said.
Marriage No More
In an edit, OP added that her fiancé saw the story she posted on Reddit. Now things seem to be over for them, as he’s asking for his ring back.
OP said, “I guess this isn’t a problem anymore. No need to keep commenting. He’ll come tomorrow to get his ring and his car; things are over.”
Redditors’ Opinions on the Matter
Redditors shared their points of view in the comments section; for most, OP’s 100% in the wrong. They think her ex-fiancé already made it clear that the house wasn’t his.
A top commenter said, “You’re the a**hole. He told you the house belonged to his daughter. That you chose not to ask what he meant and assumed he really owned it is your own fault. You deceived yourself.”
The same user added that OP was insensitive to even ask her fiancé to take the house from his daughter. She said, “It is her inheritance from her dead mother, and you want a share of it. The girl has already lost her mother, but that’s not enough—now you’re demanding a share of her inheritance go to people the mother never even met. How can you think that’s reasonable?”
You Can Blame No One!
People don’t understand how OP couldn’t understand what her ex-fiancé meant about the house being his daughter’s. In the same way, they put people calling OP’s ex-fiancé the a**hole under the spotlight.
One said, “Everyone saying that he is the a**hole for not telling her obviously didn’t read the part where he did. She just assumed he meant something else.”
“To be honest, I don’t get the people saying he didn’t tell her when he told her all along, ‘The house belongs to my daughter.’ Like, what did she think that meant? That dad bought the house and just gave it to her? Only the incredibly rich people do that. Anyone with common sense knows ‘The house belongs to my daughter’ means ‘It was my wife’s. I can only stay in it until she comes of age and can decide.’”
Do you think OP’s fiancé was clear enough when he said the house was his daughter’s? What would you do if you were in OP’s shoes?
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This post first appeared as She Called Her Fiancé a “Jerk” for Safekeeping His Daughter’s Assets. Now Things Are Over Between Them, He Wants His Ring Back, and Her Brother Says She’s a “Gold Digger!” on Quote Ambition.