She has always received special treatment from her aunt, while her sister has been close to ignored. So, would she be a jerk if she refused to share her college fund, too?
The Apple of Her Eye
OP (Original Poster), a 19-year-old woman, has a 38-year-old aunt, Amy, whom she loves and loves her back dearly. Although it’s never been explicitly stated, between her 17-year-old sister, Kim, and her, she’s the favorite niece.
Distinct Difference
She didn’t notice it early in her teenage years, but every time she had an event or a milestone, her aunt would always try to be there. On the flip side, she never was for her sister.
OP added, “I got nicer presents, there are pictures of me in her house, and she texts and calls me regularly.”
Why Is That So?
Aside from that, her aunt barely acknowledges her sister, and OP never knew why. One of the reasons it took OP too long to notice was that whenever someone mentioned the different treatment they get from Amy, their mom would brush it off.
Because Amy was OP’s paternal aunt, she just accepted it.
Seems Like Coercion
After a while, OP discovered that Amy had set up a college fund for her and her two cousins, but there wasn’t one for Kim. Recently, before OP posted this story, her mom sat her down and asked if she would be willing to attend an inexpensive college to share the money with Kim.
OP noted, “She did this with Kim looking at me for an answer and got upset that I didn’t give a definite ‘Yes.’”
She Wants 50%
So, Kim accused OP of “not caring” about her, just like Amy, and refused to speak to her until she gave Kim half of her fund. OP thought it was “wildly” unfair and questioned why her parents didn’t have their own fund for her sister since her aunt was already taking care of her education.
Little by Little
Her parents said they had one, but it wasn’t as much as what Amy had for her. After all, according to OP, her aunt is an intelligent woman who makes “a lot” of money.
Then, OP’s parents admitted they had to take some from Kim’s fund to help pay for things when their father wasn’t working due to COVID-19.
Extremely Conflicted
OP felt terrible for her sister but also didn’t want to sacrifice her college life for it. So, she asks, “Am I really being so maliciously selfish?”
Excuses After Excuses
In an update, OP clarified some things the readers were curious about. First, she said that while growing up, she noticed that Amy was more present in her life but always had some excuse when it came to Kim.
For instance, she would say that she had to work, had some prior commitment she couldn’t back out of or was sick, and more.
Favoritism or Hallucination?
Another thing is that she does recall every now and then that she, her cousins, and her sister would ask her aunt why she treated one of them differently. Every time they did, the adults would act as if the kids were being “ridiculous” and would brush the topic off.
OP added, “I always took this as us ‘kids’ just making stuff up and would trust that my parents, uncle, uncle’s wife, or my paternal grandparents would step in and do something about it. Now that I’m older and starting to look back on things, I can now get a better understanding that it was indeed favoritism.”
Her Real Mom?
Contrary to popular belief, it has never crossed OP’s mind that she might be her aunt’s “secret daughter,” and that also wouldn’t explain why Amy would spend time with her and her cousins, except Kim.
If all the attention were focused on her, she’d more likely believe that, but for now, she doesn’t think that’s the case.
A Ridiculous Assumption
Another thing OP clarified but will not rule out is that she and Kim have different fathers. Since she is older than her sister, and their parents were already married when she was born, she’s more aware of what happened.
Aside from that, she also doesn’t believe Kim was born out of an affair because that doesn’t explain why only her aunt treats Kim differently. She added, “If my entire paternal side treated Kim differently, I would feel more inclined to believe it.”
Is There Really One?
In regards to the fund, OP has never actually seen it, but she knows she has one since Amy says so. Her cousins are already in college using theirs as well.
OP wrote, “I’m not too sure about the rules of the fund because I just trust my aunt, but I will look into it.”
Not What but How
Aside from all that, she also said that she’s not totally unwilling to share any of the money. She just doesn’t want to give up half of it because she wants to go to her desired school, which is out of state and will be more expensive.
OP added, “One of the main reasons why I was so reluctant was because I felt put on the spot and was being cornered and pressured for an answer, which I resent.”
Adult-Level Discussion
OP has given it much thought, and she’s considering discussing it with the adults in her life to figure out what would be best.
However, she still noted, “I think I may be the a**hole because I’m now aware of the clear favoritism that I’ve benefited from and feel bad that my sister may have to take out loans.”
Redditors’ Thoughts and Suggestions
Some Redditors think OP isn’t wrong for wanting the best for her education, and her aunt has every right to do what she wants with her money. However, they did suggest OP talk to Amy about her blatant favoritism.
According to the top commenter, “Not the a**hole. Amy can do what she likes with her money, and you should be able to go to whichever school you choose. However, I’m surprised your parents haven’t called Amy on this. If it were me, I’d need a sit down with Amy and ask her outright why there are favorites.”
Everyone Is to Blame
Each family member had their own faults, including OP for not doing anything despite knowing that her aunt favored her over her sister.
A Redditor wrote, “Everyone sucks here. You knew there was favoritism. You witnessed the favoritism, and it’s quite hard to believe you didn’t take advantage of that favoritism. Let’s be real for a minute. That being said, it was given to you, and it’s yours to do with as you please.”
The same person added, “Your aunt is a giant a**hole, and so are your parents for not being objective enough to see it when it started. Your sister will resent you. She’s right to do so because you took advantage of the situation instead of calling it out and possibly having to share many years ago. You reap what you sow.”
Should OP give half of her college fund to her sister? What advice can you give her?
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This post first appeared as She Adamantly Refused to Give Her Sister Half of the College Fund Her Aunt Set Up for Her. Now She’s Threatened With the Silent Treatment Until She Gives In! on Quote Ambition.
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