This user doesn’t get along with her daughter-in-law, who is a picky eater and always complains. She didn’t invite her to a dinner she was hosting, but it turned into a huge family drama!
Relationship Friction
OP (Original Poster) has a son who has been married for two years.
She and her daughter-in-law get along as well as “water and oil.” Because of this, she tries to keep her distance because she doesn’t like “dealing with her.”
Nothing Is Good
Her daughter-in-law is a “picky eater” and a “pain at restaurants.” They must change locations multiple times whenever they try to go anywhere so that her daughter-in-law can “have something to eat.”
Circus Trainer
Her daughter-in-law has a horrible habit of making servers go “through hoops,” so she’ll have something she likes, and if anything is even slightly wrong, she will “b**** about it or pout in the corner.”
Demanding Perfection
One example of this horrible behavior was when her daughter-in-law ordered a quesadilla, removed almost all of the ingredients, and when it came out, she sent it back because there was a dollop of sour cream on the side of the plate.
The sour cream wasn’t touching her food, but she made a “huge deal” about her food “being wrong” anyway. OP noted that her daughter-in-law also had no allergies to excuse such behavior.
No Respect for the Dead
What tipped OP over the edge into “disliking” her daughter-in-law was when she complained about the food at a funeral. A sandwich spread was at the funeral, and her daughter-in-law had gone on and on about how “gross” the food was.
It got so bad that OP’s daughter told her to “shut the f*** up” at the funeral, which had spiraled into drama and resulted in OP’s son going “no contact for a bit.”
Preparing a Nice Meal
Considering these occurrences, when OP decided to host a dinner, she invited everyone but her son’s wife.
Her son was also not invited, but it was because he was away on a “business trip.”
Betrayed by Social Media
Afterward, a different daughter-in-law that OP got along with and had been invited to the dinner posted about the friendly get-together online.
It wasn’t long before OP received a call from the dreaded “picky eater” daughter-in-law.
Angry as a Nest of Hornets
Her daughter-in-law was “p*****” that she hadn’t been invited to the dinner and demanded to know why.
Track Record of Bad Behavior
OP informed her that it was due to her being such an “embarrassment at dinners.” Because of her past behaviors, OP wouldn’t be inviting her to any dinners moving forward.
Predictable Response
Unsurprisingly, her daughter-in-law didn’t take this news well. She called OP a “jerk” and hung up.
Family Drama
Now, OP says her son is “on her a**,” and she’s questioning whether she should apologize to her daughter-in-law.
No Excuses
OP came back later to edit additional comments into her original post. She divulged that she felt it “didn’t matter” if the daughter-in-law had an “eating disorder” or was on the “spectrum.”
After all, for her, both groups “know how to act at a funeral or restaurant.”
Not the Problem
She also expanded on her family tree, citing that she has two other daughters-in-law and one son-in-law. She has a “good relationship” with all of them.
OP concluded that this helps prove that it isn’t her “that’s the issue here,” since none of her other daughters-in-law or son-in-law like the picky eater either.
Bending for No One
Her final comment addressed how some Redditors had suggested she “better bend down” to her daughter-in-law or risk not seeing her grandchildren, which OP said is a “stupid threat.”
She’s already a grandma, and if her daughter-in-law “withholds her kids,” then that’s on them and would be “depriving the kids of grandparents” on her son’s side.
Redditors Speak Their Minds
The community stood on OP’s side and couldn’t believe her daughter-in-law had the gall to complain about food at a funeral.
The user with the top upvote said, “Not the a**hole. She openly complained about the sandwich spread at a funeral. That’s all you have to point out to her, your son, and anyone else who challenges you on this. She either behaves at mealtime like a decent human being or you, for one, will not be inviting her to dinner.”
Another commenter said, “Who goes to a funeral for the food in the first place? I mean, are you serious? Imagine hearing a relative has passed away, and your first thought is, ‘Gee, I wonder what kind of spread they’ll have and if I’ll like it.’ Insanity.”
Bring Your Own
Many Redditors felt that if OP’s daughter-in-law was picky about food, she should bring her own whenever she left her house.
One user said, “She needs to bring her food or shut her mouth. I’m a picky vegan, and I either check out the menu in advance if it’s a restaurant or I bring my food if we’re going to someone’s house. Sometimes, there are options for me, and sometimes, I end up with nothing but a baked potato, but that’s okay because get-togethers aren’t about the food to me. It’s about the people and spending time together.”
Funeral Food Slaps
Aside from OP’s problem, it didn’t take long for the Reddit community to become sidetracked by discussing how excellent funeral food often is.
One Redditor said, “Not long ago, I had a conversation with my father—who’s in his 70s and poor health—where he said he’s fine with cremation for him and my mother and there not being a big deal made. I quickly responded that he was crazy if he thought we wouldn’t have a service at the church where my entire family has been buried for the last 200 years because those southern church ladies know what the f*** is up and make some of the best food I’ve ever had. It’s in the middle of nowhere, and they have a full-on ‘Old Lady Avengers Assemble’ call that goes out, and they bring it. I’m sure it involved potato salad, but it wasn’t something that stuck out to me. The fried chicken, mac, and various coronary-inducing casseroles, though? It’s on.”
Do you think it was wrong of OP not to invite her daughter-in-law? Or is her daughter-in-law being ridiculous with how picky she is with food?
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This post first appeared as She Adamantly Refused to Invite Her Daughter-In-Law to a Meal Because She’s a “Picky Eater” Who’s an “Embarrassment at Dinners.” Now She’s Called a “Jerk,” and Her Son’s Absolutely Furious! on Quote Ambition.
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