This Redditor wants to know if he was wrong to retract his future sister-in-law’s invitation to their wedding when he found out he wasn’t invited to hers. What could her reason be?
OP (Original Poster) and his future wife had been together for almost a year and had been engaged for half of their relationship. He said they’ve started creating a guestlist for their fall wedding that would take place in 2024.
His Fiancé’s Family
While OP was an only child, his fiancé came from a big family. He said they are particularly close with one of her sisters.
He shared, “We often went to visit her and play board games and such.”
I’ve Done a Lot for Them
OP shared that he had done much for his sister-in-law-to-be and her future husband.
He shared, “I planned a birthday party for his son from another marriage; I’ve given her rides and always brought small gifts when I would visit. I’ve gone as far as to stop everything I was doing to help her during a health scare while she was pregnant.”
Part of the Family
With everything he’d done for his fiancé’s family, particularly her sister, he felt like he was already part of the family even if he wasn’t married yet.
OP’s fiancé’s sister is pregnant and has a fiancé, too! So, OP’s soon-to-be-wife announced that her sister would have a shotgun wedding before she started showing.
She said, “It was in order to keep with their traditional values and appease familial, religious desires.”
No Plus Ones
OP’s future sister-in-law only announced her shotgun wedding via a text to her sister, OP’s fiancé. In the message, she made it a point to mention, “It’s a small wedding, no plus ones. OP can come to the dinner afterward.”
He didn’t mind this, and he 100% understood her decision. He even said that ceremonies could be dull.
The Big Day
On his future sister-in-law’s wedding day, he drove his fiancé to her sister’s house. However, he also planned to drive her, her sister, and her sister’s future husband to the venue and finally to the reception dinner to offer some help.
But his fiancé said, “It’s okay, just drop me off at my sister’s, and we will get a ride over.”
It’s a Little Odd
OP thought his fiancé’s response was odd but didn’t think anything of it. They arrived at her sister’s house, and OP asked his fiancé if he could congratulate the couple.
Weirdly, instead of immediately agreeing, his fiancé said, “Uh, okay. Let me just text my sister to make sure.”
OP was dressed in plain clothes as he wasn’t going to the ceremony and was “hesitantly invited” to come inside. Inside the house were his fiancé’s siblings, their significant others, and friends—all dressed up!
He said, “They all looked at me and didn’t say much.”
What a Joke!
He also saw the boyfriend of one of his fiancé’s other sisters, and he was dressed in a suit. It was then that it became apparent to OP that the “no plus one rule” only applied to him.
Everyone was invited but him!
Understandably, OP was hurt, so he immediately left his future sister-in-law’s house. Then, he texted his fiancé and said he was removing her sister from their guestlist.
OP’s fiancé was upset by his decision because her sister is a close friend of hers. Instead of defending OP, she said that OP might have done something to upset her sister and her fiancé.
However, OP said, “I’ve been nothing but kind and caring to her entire family. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars and gone above and beyond for everyone.”
Cause of Many Fights
The whole situation is making OP and his fiancé fight. OP said he felt like he’d been betrayed, but his fiancé said he was just “being petty!”
He asked, “Why should I invite them if I was specifically left out of her wedding?”
What the Community Has to Say
Redditors wanted OP to open his eyes to the fact that more than a sister-in-law-to-be problem, he might also have an issue with his own fiancé.
A top comment was, “Seems to me your fiancé knew beforehand about you being the only one not invited. I think you also have a fiancé problem if she can keep this from you as well as not backing you up on not inviting her sister. Not the a**hole.”
We Felt the Betrayal
People also pointed out that OP’s whole post smelled like a betrayal and kept getting worse as the story progressed.
“I felt the betrayal while reading through the post. This is some sneaky behavior, and the fiancé turning it around to say, ‘Maybe you did something to upset them’ instead of standing up for you for not being invited is something you should think of when looking at the future of your relationship or marriage,” wrote another user.
Not Someone You’d Want to Get Married To
Redditors focused on his fiancé more than his future sister-in-law. They pointed out that she’s likely not someone who’d be the best partner for him moving forward.
One said, “That is not someone you want to be married to. Not the a**hole. I am so sorry, OP. That would hurt me so much and is honestly something that I would reconsider marriage over. Call me dramatic, but this was a conspiracy against you. The least they could do was be honest with you and say you weren’t invited. Not only were they being cruel, they were lying and being sneaky about it.”
Should OP reconsider his wedding plans? What would you advise him to do?
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