This mother invited her two daughters to Christmas dinner. One daughter said she wouldn’t come because she and her husband had separated. Turns out he had cheated on her with her sister for two years!
A Wide Spread
OP (Original Poster) has four children: two older sons and two younger daughters.
All four had grown into adults and moved out of the house long ago.
Two Sides of a Coin
OP had always been closer to one of her daughters, whom she called S. The other daughter, whom she called P, had always preferred to “have her own space.”
It didn’t bother OP that her daughters were so different. They were both “beautiful, talented young women,” and she was “proud” of them.
OP and her family had decided to do Christmas early that year and were planning for the first week in December. She invited all her children for dinner, gifts, and all the other normal holiday activities.
Trouble for Christmas
When OP called her daughter, P, to “clarify a few things,” she was told by P that she and her husband wouldn’t make it.
OP inquired as to why and discovered that they were separated because P’s husband had cheated on her.
A Hard Truth
OP told P that she should come home because of what she was going through and that it’d be “better to spend time with family” than be alone.
P hesitated and then revealed the most shocking truth of all.
P told OP that her husband had been cheating on her with her own sister, S, for about two years. They had been seeing each other at her expense the entire time.
A Mother’s Pain
OP didn’t know what to do, and she had spoken to S all the time during this period. For the past six months, OP had noticed that S was sounding head over heels for her mystery boyfriend, and now she knew who he was.
Fury at the Betrayal
OP didn’t hesitate any longer. She uninvited S from the family Christmas get-together so that P could come.
She also took the step of blocking S because she didn’t think she could deal with everything she had done before the arrival of Christmas.
OP said she was sick about the whole thing but couldn’t have S come to the family Christmas because “family can’t hurt each other like that.”
On the bright side, P decided to come, and OP remains firm that this is preferred as P “needs the stability of people who love her” during such a difficult time.
Just Doesn’t Get It
OP is now dealing with drama from S, as S firmly believes she wasn’t in the wrong.
She even told OP that it was “none of her business” and “as her mom, she can’t block her and remove her from the family.”
More Family Opinions
OP’s sister, the children’s aunt, was quick to try and settle things down by telling OP that she “shouldn’t get involved in their personal lives,” which OP felt was “bulls***.” Then, OP’s sister told her she had “two daughters to think about.”
She stood firm in her belief that S had “forfeited” her right to be with the family during Christmas when she slept with P’s husband for the past two years.
Husband to the Rescue
OP’s husband had taken on the role of peacekeeper and acted as the go-between for OP and S. While he tried to remain neutral, her husband was entirely on OP’s side and thought the whole situation was terrible.
OP also found out that P’s mother-in-law was sick with her son’s behavior and had been trying to be there for P as well. While OP hadn’t spoken to her, she knew her daughter was receiving support from her mother-in-law, who would even cry over the phone.
Her sister, however, also stood her ground, saying that she wouldn’t come to the family Christmas if S weren’t invited. OP noted that it made a lot of sense since this was during the pandemic, and she hadn’t bothered to ask her anyway.
The Community’s Two Cents
Redditors were shocked by the level of contempt that S showed for P.
One even said, “Not the a**hole. Uninviting your daughter to one family event to support your other daughter whom she violated, is not wrong. You don’t say that you’re disowning S, just that P is currently your priority. If S has even a shred of reason, this will make sense to her. She knows what she did is wrong.”
Another Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. So often on Reddit, the parents side with the child that does the cheating or offending. It’s good to see you’re supporting the child who is the victim.”
A Disturbing Tale
A lot of Redditors noted that the affair was very much made worse by the sister relationship between P and S.
One said, “Not the a**hole. S’s betrayal of her sister is completely unacceptable. Claiming she is being wronged for being uninvited to Christmas after what she has done shows she is taking no responsibility for her actions. This isn’t about S’s personal life. This is about her betrayal of her family. Having an affair with your sister’s husband is a very public problem, not a private problem. P needs her family right now, and S’s behavior means P needs S not to be there.”
What do you think about this sordid love triangle? Did the mother do right by uninviting S, or should she have tried to get everyone together?
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This post first appeared as She Banned Her Daughter From Their Family Christmas Dinner After She Discovered She Had a Two-Year Affair With Her Sister’s Husband. Now Their Family’s Crumbling Apart! Was She Being Selfish? on Quote Ambition.