This Redditor wants to avoid any chances of her big day going haywire. So, she uninvited her parents from her wedding, saying she didn’t want them ruining anything!
For OP (Original Poster), her parents have always been “overbearing” people. They have “huge” personalities and tend to “steamroll” everyone who gets in their way.
One Wedding Down
Long story short, OP’s parents completely ruined her little sister’s wedding.
She wrote, “At my little sister’s wedding this summer, they were especially obnoxious.”
Her parents made “terrible speeches” and even got the DJ to play “crappy music” for the “older folks.” Apart from this, OP’s parents tried to get the photographer to do family pictures for those who were not part of the wedding party or entourage.
All her parents said was that they deserved a photo “since they were there anyway, and everyone’s already dressed up.”
However, the problem was that taking more pictures of more people wasn’t as easy as one would think.
Coerced Into Agreeing
For one, OP’s sister wasn’t even willing to do the shoot. OP wrote, “My mother and father bullied my sister into taking pictures with each family group that was invited.”
To make matters worse, they were talking about 15 or so groups!
What a Nightmare!
Additionally, even if OP pretended that everything went smoothly—which it did not—it was an extra hour and a half of taking pictures in the middle of her sister’s wedding day.
This caused a domino effect of negative outcomes throughout the day.
Because OP’s parents insisted on taking the photos, the reception started late.
Then, OP added, “My sister was on her feet for an extra 90 minutes.” For all women out there who knew how painful it was to stand on heels all day, you’d feel the torture OP’s sister went through!
Not for Me
Given this experience, OP did not want anything similar to happen during her wedding. So, she told her parents that “they had better not try any of that s*** at her wedding.”
It’s Who We Are
But instead of accepting her request, OP’s parents said that “it was who they were” and they were “not going to change for anyone.”
No Going Back
Their response and unwillingness to compromise prompted OP to consult her fiancé. Ultimately, the couple decided to uninvite OP’s parents.
OP wrote, “I told them they were welcome to come to the church as guests but that I did not want them near my wedding party during the pictures or at our reception.”
Strong and Independent
OP added that she and her fiancé are the ones paying for their wedding, and her parents are not sponsoring anything. Because of this, she believes that they “don’t owe” them anything.
Ripped in Half
Her sister is on her side, but the rest of her family is “split down the middle.”
She wrote, “Half understand why I don’t want them making a scene at my wedding. The other half is saying that my parents are who they are, and it’s unfair of me to expect them to change for any reason.”
But It’s My Day!
Even so, OP thinks that she deserves to have the day she’s always dreamed and wished for.
She said, “I might be the a**hole because they are my parents, and I love them, but I want just one day that is important to me not to be wrecked by them being loud and obnoxious.”
The Community’s Thoughts
For users, OP’s parents’ excuse wasn’t even valid. After all, OP wasn’t even asking them to change.
One wrote, “Not the a**hole. Nobody asks them to change; just behave like decent human beings.”
“To behave like decent human beings for one night. And they can’t even do that,” another pointed out.
It’s Not About Them
Other Redditors think OP’s parents were being too insensitive in holding up the photographer and trying to make her little sister’s wedding theirs.
One woman wrote, “To me, trying to tie up the photographer is an a**hole move. Photographers cost thousands, and they are there to take pictures of the wedding—not to do family photos for free. I would be livid if someone were at my wedding pestering the photographer to take pictures for them, potentially causing the photographer I’m paying to miss important moments that should be photographed.”
She added, “That, on top of the ‘terrible speeches’ and ‘crappy music,’ makes me think the parents spent much of the wedding trying to insert themselves into everything and trying to make themselves the center of attention. It really doesn’t take much for you to be a quiet and respectful guest, and they couldn’t even manage that.”
The Worst Kind
Then, other Redditors pointed out that what OP’s parents are doing is disgusting. Why would a parent even willingly want to disrupt their child’s wedding if they loved them?
One said, “Does someone qualify as a decent person if they disrupt their child’s wedding intentionally and repeatedly, then acknowledge it and intend to do it again?”
“Decent people don’t try to coerce people into working for free, or change their preplanned setlist, or disrespect boundaries and make other people uncomfortable with their behavior. I’m sure OP’s sister spent a lot of time and money to plan her wedding, and her parents not only didn’t care, but they actively ruined her plans,” commented another user.
Do you think OP was right to ban her parents from her wedding for the reasons she stated? What would you tell your parents if they’re anything like OP’s?
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This post first appeared as She Banned Her “Overbearing” Parents From Her Wedding, Not Wanting a Repeat of How They “Ruined” Her Sister’s. She Doesn’t Owe Them Anything, but People Think She’s a Jerk! on Quote Ambition.