A young girl went to the birthday party of an autistic kid who used to be taught by her mother. Once there, she was overwhelmed because she’d never had a birthday party and left!
Just Another Day
OP (Original Poster) is a 15-year-old girl, and although she’s been in this world for more than a decade, she had no idea how birthday parties should work because she had never had one.
Doesn’t Matter
Not only had she not had a birthday, but her mother had never even acknowledged it. She had never had a birthday cake or celebrated any other holidays.
Going to a Party
A few days before she posted this story, her mother told her and her nine-year-old little brother that they were attending a dinner party. It was to be for one of her former students and was a graduation celebration.
Specific Needs
OP’s mother taught special education in school, so the student in question was a special needs student. OP and her brother weren’t excited but said okay and prepared to go.
Making Preparations
Before they went to the party, OP’s mom had to stop and get a cake from the store. It had his name and a balloon design in the frosting.
False Pretenses
When they arrived at the party, OP heard her mom say, “Happy Birthday!” She then handed the cake to the young man who had just turned 21.
She added, “He had graduated high school years ago.”
What Is This?
OP couldn’t believe what was happening; she had never had a birthday and was now at one. She watched, growing more upset, as he blew out candles, sang “Happy Birthday,” and opened gifts.
Poor Little Guy
During the party, her little brother had come over to her. He asked, “Why are we at a birthday party?”
It was understandable that he was confused since their mother had always told them they weren’t allowed to celebrate anything “birthday-related.”
A Harsh Truth
OP told her brother it was because “nobody cares about us.” He told her, “If you ever plan on running away from home, I want you to take me with you.”
Being a Big Sister
At that moment, OP wanted to cry and didn’t want to be at the party anymore. She asked her brother if he wanted to take a moment, and he did, so they walked around the neighborhood.
Now Comes Trouble
When they returned to the party, it was time to leave, and their mother yelled at OP and her brother to get in the car. She said that she had wanted OP to take pictures of the party and that OP had “humiliated her.”
How Could You?
In the car, OP confronted her mom and told her that, as her children, they should take priority and that it was “hypocritical of her” to celebrate someone else’s birthday. She even bought the young man a cake, which she had never done for her children!
A Special Case
OP’s mom told her that the reason was due to his autism. He needed to be happy and have happy moments.
Hurt, she said, “Right, and we don’t need to be happy, right?” After this, her mom accused her of being a “spoiled brat.”
The Source of Trouble
OP revealed in later comments to Reddit users that she was a Jehovah’s Witness. Jehovah’s Witness is a small religious organization that doesn’t believe in celebrating birthdays or holidays and is what some people call a cult.
Redditors Weigh In
Redditors were instantly on OP’s side when they read what she had gone through.
One weighed in about the impact of her religion, saying, “Not the a**hole. Your particular religious cult is known for being ultra-controlling, and it makes life less joyous for you, well, for children in particular, and I’m sorry for that. Your being upset was completely natural, as your mother was being a hypocrite for celebrating a non-Jehovah Witness’s birthday instead of staying away. You can do what you want as an adult, including celebrating anything you like for any reason or none at all.”
Another Redditor had been a Jehovah’s Witness and said, “So fellow raised Jehovah’s Witness here. Leave as soon as you can. It would help if you healed from all of the trauma. It’s a wild ride as you realize what your life has been like. That religion is a hotbed for abusers and narcissists. I’m older now and still don’t understand how holidays work. I try, but honestly, I’m autistic and have ADHD. A lot goes over my head; since I didn’t grow up with it, it’s lost on me. But it does get easier with time and healing. Hugs, my friend.”
No Easy Answers
All the Redditors who posted were on OP’s side, but there was nothing OP could do about it until she got older.
One Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. Your mom is in a cult, and Jehovah’s Witnesses are absolute garbage. I had a family member walk out on their husband and two young kids because the Jehovah’s Witnesses told her to. It’s f****** disgusting, and they treat their kids like crap. You’re right to get out of there, and I don’t blame you for wanting to escape, but do it smart. Work hard to get an education, post-secondary or trade school scholarships, work experience, anything you can. The moment you leave the church, everyone who’s Jehovah’s Witness will shun you, and you’ll never hear from them again. Also, look at the ex-Jehovah’s Witness subreddit. They have lots of resources for getting out and getting help.”
Do you think OP was correct to be upset? How would you have handled the situation in her place?
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This post first appeared as She Ditched an Autistic 21-Year-Old’s Birthday Party, Hurt That Her “Hypocritical” Mom Never Cared Enough to Celebrate Hers. Now She’s Called a “Spoiled Brat” for “Humiliating” Her! Was She Wrong? on Quote Ambition.
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