A woman baked a cake for her stepdaughter’s birthday to make her feel loved. She got all the ingredients but blueberries. When he found out, her husband flipped out.
OP (Original Poster) had been married to Jeff for a year when she posted this story. He had a daughter who was 12, and his previous wife, who was his daughter’s mother, had died.
Doing His Best
OP said that Jeff was not cut out to be a single parent and was struggling when she met him. For his daughter’s birthday, he would often get her a cake from the nearby bakery.
Since she hadn’t had a homemade birthday cake since her mother passed away, OP decided to change that. She would bake her a cake and show her some “motherly support and love.”
Everything’s a Breeze
Her husband agreed it was a good idea and told her what kind of cake his daughter liked. OP baked the cake to his specifications but couldn’t find blueberries since their grocery store was out.
OP had run out of time and thought it would be okay not to have the blueberries. OP had fulfilled all the other requests, so she put the cake up and got ready for the party.
The Busy Party
The party had been going well, with OP’s husband caring for everything else. He came into the kitchen to see the cake before it was presented to the guests, and that’s when the problem started.
OP showed her husband the cake she had baked for her stepdaughter. When he saw no blueberries on top, he lost it and got incredibly angry.
Her husband was enraged that there were no blueberries, and he began to accuse her of not taking it seriously. He said that he should have just ordered the cake as usual so it would have blueberries on it.
Not Taking It
However, OP wasn’t going to sit there and be abused, so they began to argue. Then, OP’s husband grabbed the cake, threw it in the trash can, and told her, “Forget it. I’ll just get one from the bakery.”
OP was also angry at this point, and when she saw him throw away her cake, she started screaming at him. He told her to stop, but she ignored him and went up to her room to get dressed and leave.
Can’t Stay Now
After OP had gotten ready to leave, her husband tried to change her mind. He asked her to stay despite the events that had just transpired, and she ignored him and went to her parents’ house.
All About Him
Later that night, he texted OP and told her that she had hurt both him and his daughter by not staying for the birthday party. He also blamed her for the entire situation because she had not “properly” made the cake since there were no blueberries.
While OP wouldn’t respond to him, she did talk to her parents about what happened. They took Jeff’s side and said he probably exploded because of the pressure he put himself under.
The Community’s Thoughts
Redditors had a lot to say about this, and they zoomed in on both the blueberries on the cake and the way her husband behaved.
One pointed out that this was not normal behavior, saying, “Not the a**hole. No cake in the history of cakes has been ruined by not having blueberries. It’s never about the berries, it’s about control. That is a huge red flag. Watch out for how easily he comes unhinged about other little things. If it’s always your fault, look up the characteristics of a narcissist and see if he fits that bill.”
Another Redditor also pointed out, “Not the a**hole. He threw away a homemade cake because there were no blueberries on it, and you think you overreacted? Has he had explosive reactions like this in the past? That’s kind of scary. If he reacts this way over missing blueberries, what happens when something really goes wrong?”
Lost and Confused
Redditors also wanted OP to open her eyes to what was happening.
One said, “He is already verbally abusing you, humiliating you, and treating you like s*** after only a year? His behavior is completely insane. I cannot imagine being married to someone who would ever treat me this way. You need to annul this marriage immediately and start making plans to leave. This is not going to get better. Not the a**hole.”
Another added, “Not the a**hole. You went out of your way to research what kind of care your stepdaughter would want, put in the effort to bake a cake—after agreeing with the dad on you baking the cake—and baked a lovely birthday cake. It was just missing one kind of decoration because you couldn’t source it in time. He went nuclear and threw out your cake? Yeah, I wouldn’t have stayed around after that, either. It is a childish, vindictive, aggressive, and hurtful way to deal with what he saw as a less-than-perfect situation. He seems extremely overprotective of his daughter. She’s 12 and would probably love this cake even if it didn’t have blueberries. Even if she had noticed and said something, she could have been told the shop had run out, and at her age, she should have been able to understand that and learn to deal with that kind of ‘disappointment.’ Are you pushed aside in other parenting situations, too? How is your relationship with your stepdaughter? It’s only been a year, and he already treats you like this? I’d reconsider this marriage.”
Was OP justified in her anger and right to storm out and miss her stepdaughter’s birthday? Do you think the blueberries were just part of the more significant stress her husband was under?
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This post first appeared as She Stormed Out of Her Stepdaughter’s Birthday Party After Her Husband Threw Out the Cake She Made, Just Because It Didn’t Have Blueberries. Now He’s Blaming Her, Saying She “Overreacted!” on Quote Ambition.