This Redditor allowed her brother-in-law and his family to stay in her house rent-free while they got back on their feet. But after disrespecting her home multiple times, she’s had enough and kicked them out!
Two Brothers and Their Families
OP (Original Poster) and her husband are both 30. Meanwhile, her husband’s brother is 35.
He has a 26-year-old wife and two boys, aged 3 and 4.
For the Sake of the Kids
The month before this story was posted, OP’s brother-in-law and his family got evicted from their place. OP “never wanted them” in her house in the first place because of “past issues.”
However, after speaking with her husband, they decided to give them a place to stay for the young kids’ sake.
Setting Some Ground Rules
Before her brother-in-law’s family moved in, they set some ground rules. Some of these rules included OP’s brother-in-law actively job searching.
The family must also “respect” OP’s space and clean up after themselves.
A Month-Long Nightmare
However, the rules weren’t followed like OP originally intended. In the past month, they have begun to slowly “destroy” her home and space “without giving two s****.”
OP wrote, “First of all, my sister-in-law is an extremely picky eater, so their family doesn’t eat with us. Fine. But they never ever clean up after themselves, constantly leaving dirty dishes, pans, crumbs, and food stains.”
No Effort and More Complaints
When OP tells them to clean up after themselves, they “begrudgingly” do, but it is “never a job well done.”
Then, the week before this story was posted, she found out her nephews peed on her “very expensive” couch. She only realized it happened after smelling the odor while watching TV.
Never on Top of Things
What disappointed her more was that her sister-in-law was a stay-at-home mom, but instead of caring for her sons, she was more like a “stay-in-her-room mom” who allowed her two children to “run rampant” around OP’s house.
She shared, “In the last three weeks, her boys have colored on their bedroom walls, trashed my living room with their toys, and knocked over half of my plant collection.”
A House or a Zoo?
OP’s livid, as her brother-in-law’s whole family turned her house into a “f****** zoo” while contributing nothing. They essentially lived rent-free!
She wrote, “I’ve not been able to comfortably live in my own space for the past few weeks.”
A Band-Aid Solution
Her husband had sensed her frustration, so he told her he’d talk to his brother. He also hired a maid to clean their house, and things improved.
However, OP and her husband soon realized it was nothing but a band-aid solution.
The Last Straw
The day before this story was posted, OP got home early from work and noticed that her brother-in-law’s family was not home. She said, “Good. I think, ‘Peace and quiet for a few hours.’”
She went to their bedroom to nap only to find that her “precious vase” handmade by her mom was shattered on the ground! OP wrote, “I lost my mom when I was a teen, and it is one of the last handmade items I have from her.”
Who to Blame?
OP didn’t have to think about who was the culprit. She immediately knew her nephews were behind the shattered vase, as their toys were inside the room, and their tablet was on OP’s bed.
She was absolutely livid that she immediately called her husband and explained the situation. She told him his brother’s family would not stay another day in their house—no questions asked!
OP added, “Then I went around the house picking up their dirty clothes, toys, papers, etc., and threw them outside onto our lawn.”
When her brother-in-law and his family returned and saw all their stuff outside, they had a massive fight with OP. She, however, was not in the least intimidated.
She listed all the disrespectful things they’d done and said that because they’d met “none” of the conditions outlined when they first moved in, OP wanted them “off her property by midnight.”
In the heat of the moment, OP called their kids “untrained dogs.” Also furious and caught up in the moment, they screamed at OP and called her “heartless, cruel, and evil.”
They said that OP was making them homeless.
OP’s brother-in-law’s family eventually left after she threatened to call the cops. Her husband, though he felt bad for his brother, was on OP’s side through everything.
On the other hand, OP’s mother-in-law called her and asked her to take her son and his family back after she “forced them to sleep in their car.” Now OP asks, “Am I the a**hole?”
What the Community Has to Say
The online community was on OP’s side, saying she was generous enough to let them stay at her place free of charge. Her brother-in-law and his family didn’t deserve her generosity.
One said, “Not the a**hole. You are not the a**hole. If your mother-in-law is concerned, she can take them or buy a motel room. They’ve s*** all over your hospitality, and it is no coincidence they were gone when you got home. They knew breaking that vase was gonna be bad news. I am so sorry this happened to you. Definitely not the a**hole, but your mother-in-law and husband are teetering into a**holery. They need to support you in this.”
Another shared, “OP, keep in mind that there is no reason you need to be in contact with your mother-in-law if she’s being unkind. Block her, at least temporarily. You should each deal with your respective families when there is toxicity.”
Repairing What Was Broken
Some also gave OP suggestions on what she could do with her broken vase. There were people who suggested OP look into Kintsugi or make a mosaic out of the broken pieces.
“It’s really a beautiful way of honoring your mom and making her creation stronger and more beautiful through adversity in a way,” remarked one person.
One Redditor suggested, “I don’t know how well it would work if the vase was badly shattered, but it’d certainly be worth looking into. ‘Making broken things more beautiful,’ perhaps like OP’s grief for her mother creating room for cherished memories. Even if Kintsugi isn’t feasible, the mosaic idea is excellent. It’s not the same, but it’s something.”
What other suggestions do you have for OP? Should she have given her brother-in-law and his family more time?
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This post first appeared as She Kicked Her Brother-In-Law’s Family Out, Left Them Homeless, and Called Their Kids “Untrained Dogs” After They “Destroyed” Her House. They Said She’s “Evil and Heartless,” but She’s Had Enough! on Quote Ambition.