From the beginning, she was clear on who could visit her baby. So, she was shocked to find her mother-in-law with her nieces at her door, not to mention one of them was a bully!
Exclusive Visits for the Newborn
Three weeks before OP shared this story, she welcomed her baby. Because everything was so new, they had only started allowing certain people to visit them.
House Full of Love
A couple of weeks after her baby’s birth, OP’s mother, her sister, and her newborn visited for the first time. OP’s mother-in-law was also about to arrive the next day to stay with them for a week.
Giving Tons More Effort
For some context, OP explained that her mother-in-law lives a 16-hour driving distance from them. They live in Canada, so she even had to get a passport to visit the baby.
OP wrote, “She called us the day she was supposed to arrive and said she had to stop off and sleep and that she wouldn’t make it on the original estimated time of arrival. No big deal. She shows up the next day at 10 AM.”
The problem is that OP’s mother-in-law brought her 2 granddaughters, who were both 12, with her. She didn’t discuss it with OP and her husband or hinted about it.
The Bully’s Here
To make matters worse, OP and her husband had an issue with one of the girls her mother-in-law brought with her.
She explained that one of her husband’s nieces is a kid they no longer allow near their children because of her severe bullying, and OP’s mother-in-law is entirely aware of that.
The Barbecue Incident
As a matter of fact, OP and her husband cut off all contact with the child’s mother after defending her daughter for punching OP’s five-year-old son in the face. Everything went down a year before this story was posted at a family barbecue.
OP added, “The kid was 11 when she punched my son. He had the squirt gun, she wanted it, and he said to wait her turn. She punched him. Bloodied his nose and knocked him on his a**. Her mom blamed it on ADHD and lack of impulse control. Told me to get over it because kids will be kids, basically, and said my son should have just given the squirt gun up because it was hers, and she asked for it.”
The Good Niece
OP’s mother-in-law knew they had no contact with the girl and her mom. Still, she shamelessly and insensitively brought the child with her.
Thankfully, the other 12-year-old, compared to the first one, was fine, and OP actually really liked her.
Singling Her Out
However, in OP’s words, “to further exceed a**hole limits,” she allowed the nice niece to come inside her house and meet her baby. But she made her mother-in-law and the bully kid stay outside.
Her husband totally agreed with her and was on her side. He was even actually furious and considered letting the nice girl stay with them for a week.
All the Chaos
They planned to put her on a plane back home. Still, her mother wasn’t comfortable having her daughter travel unattended, which OP understands.
So, she ended up leaving when OP and her husband told her mother-in-law to go. OP said, “We did not let my mother-in-law or the bully niece see the baby.”
Tarnishing Their Reputation
Because of that, several people from the family are calling her and her spouse “every name in the book.” OP’s sister-in-law, whom they have no contact with, has been damaging OP’s and her husband’s names, saying they’ve “wasted” her mother-in-law’s time.
She even said that they’re wrongly “punishing” her bully of a daughter and that they need to “get over it.”
Spent Too Much, Lost Too Much
Aside from that, her husband’s brother said they were “ignorant” because his mother purchased hers and the two girls’ passports. That means she wasted money and time.
A Huge Dilemma
On the other hand, the nice niece’s mom is on OP’s side, given that OP’s mother-in-law lied to her. Apparently, she said she told OP the girls were coming when she didn’t.
Now OP asks, “Am I the a**hole for letting the nice niece meet our baby but making my mother-in-law and the bully niece stay in the car and then kicking them off our property after she drove 16 hours?”
Redditors’ Two Cents
Redditors think OP’s mother-in-law was extremely disrespectful and suggested she and her husband cut all contact with every family member who judged them.
A commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole at all. Who shows up with uninvited guests in the first place, much less two children that aren’t yours? And who shows up with people you are explicitly no contact with? This was intended to stomp your boundaries while you were most vulnerable.”
The same person added, “Consider permanent no contact with this woman and everybody criticizing you. All of the parents of those girls are absolutely insane. Who sends their child on a 16-hour cross-country road trip without calling the people whose home they are going to in order to discuss the plan first? They are neglectful and rude as f***.”
People believe that OP’s mother-in-law planned everything out and really meant to go against what OP wanted.
A Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. If she really thought it wasn’t a big deal, she wouldn’t have hidden the fact that she was bringing them. She knew exactly what she was doing, going against your wishes and hoping the fact that she drove that far with them would make you give in. Good job at not allowing this to happen, and I’m glad your husband stood with you on that. Also, congrats on the baby.”
Kudos for the Courage!
Some people commended OP and her husband for standing their ground and being transparent about their boundaries. They also congratulated them on their new baby.
Someone wrote, “Oh my God, absolutely easiest, not the a**hole I’ve ever given. None of the blame for this situation falls on you, and all of it on the grandmother. It’s so refreshing to see people stand their ground. You should be very proud of yourself for prioritizing your family. Also, your husband deserves a legit gold star for his behavior. So many mommy’s boys on here, holy crap. Congrats on the new addition!”
What can you say about OP’s problem? Do you think she was right to have done what she did?
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This post first appeared as She Kicked Her Mother-In-Law Out After She Secretly Brought Her Bully Niece to Meet Her Newborn. Now the Girl’s Mom Says She’s “Punishing” Her Daughter and “Wasting” Her In-Law’s Time! on Quote Ambition.