This user hosted a family lunch at her apartment. When her mother made a snide remark about her boyfriend, she kicked her out, resulting in family drama!
A Fresh Start
OP (Original Poster) is a 20-year-old woman who recently moved into a new apartment. It was finally big enough to host people, something which OP hadn’t been able to do previously because she had lived in a “shoebox-sized apartment.”
Since she had upgraded her living quarters, she wanted to show off the new place to her family. So, she decided to host a family lunch.
Budding Romance
Her 21-year-old boyfriend also lives with her in her new apartment. From the date of OP’s posting, they had been living together for around six months and in a relationship for about a year and a half.
OP noted they had been “doing great” and that the “future looks amazing and promising with him.” She could see herself “getting married to him.”
Dining Together
The day of the family lunch arrived, and OP said that “everyone was having a good time.” Her boyfriend had to leave early because he planned to attend “his little brother’s football game.”
After he left, OP’s 37-year-old mother inquired if she could “afford the apartment without him” and whether the lease was in her name or his.
Drama Llama Arrives
OP replied that she could afford the apartment and that the lease was in her name, to which her mother replied, “Good, now I can rest easy.”
Typically, OP noted that this comment would go ignored, but her mother had used a very “snarky and passive-aggressive tone” that everyone at the table noticed.
Stirring the Pot
She asked her mother what she meant by that comment, and her mother replied, “Well, I assume you want to stay in this place for a long time. It is nice, and I just wanted to ensure you won’t have to leave when you finally decide to break up with your boyfriend.”
Her mother had never been the “kindest person,” much less to her boyfriend, but she’d always refrained from saying such things in front of others. So, OP asked her mother to “stop saying things like that from now on and that it was mean.”
Doubling Down
Instead of apologizing or backing down, her mother made things worse by saying, “Oh please, I just meant that you guys will break up when you finally get over that whole ‘I don’t want kids mindset’ because he can’t have any.” OP added for context that her boyfriend had gotten a vasectomy that year from the date of OP’s posting.
She’d also been saying since she was 16 that she didn’t want any children. However, her mother insisted that she would eventually change her mind and believed “there is nothing greater for women than to be mothers.”
Boiling Point
Because her mother hadn’t known when to stop, OP had now hit her breaking point and couldn’t contain her anger. Everyone at the table was visibly uncomfortable, and OP’s grandmother tried to “divert the conversation,” but she “wasn’t having it.”
OP stood from the table and told her mother “as calmly as possible” to leave. She then went to cut the dessert.
Tail Tucked
Before OP was out of earshot, her mother commented about her temper and her “inability to voice her concerns” and then left along with OP’s father and sisters.
Once they were gone, her grandmother told her she was “being rude” and that she knew how her mother was and “should’ve just brushed it off.” However, her aunt agreed with what she had done.
Attempted Guilt Trip
Later, OP’s mother sent her a long text saying that “she was waiting for an apology and that she won’t visit” again because she was “mean to her and made her cry.”
Racism Rears Its Ugly Head
OP returned later to edit additional comments into her post to clarify that before her mother knew about her boyfriend’s vasectomy, she used to be worried about them having non-white babies, as her boyfriend is brown.
She also pointed out that she and her boyfriend have a “very healthy relationship,” and he’s always been “polite and helpful” with her family. He was also “very nice” to her mother until he overheard her commenting to a friend, “He is handsome but in a brown way.”
Fed Up
The very reason OP’s mother even knew about her boyfriend’s vasectomy was because he got “sick” of her mother’s comments about grandchildren and told her himself.
Her mother mentioned “something about unwanted pregnancies,” to which OP’s boyfriend said, “Oh, I’m snipped. No worries.”
Prior Offense
Nine months from the date of OP’s posting, there had been another altercation that had pushed her to confront her mother. OP told her mother that if she “ever made another racist comment or anything related,” then she’d cut contact.
She added that her boyfriend is understanding of the situation and has said before, “I care so little about your mother’s opinion that she could tell me to go die in a ditch, and I wouldn’t care one bit.”
Unexplained Behavior
OP ended her comment by stating she couldn’t explain her mother’s behavior because they have “brown Moreno people” in their family, including her mother’s mother. The only thing she could think of was that her mother wanted to have “white and blonde” grandbabies.
What the Community Has to Say
Redditors agreed that OP’s mother was way out of line and that she had every right to ask her to leave her place.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Are some people unable to find conversation topics these days? Why is she bringing up your relationship and feelings about having children before your guests?”
Another user said, “She thought she had you trapped. Having an audience while she dissed you was a bonus for her.”
Do you think that OP’s mother was rude and should apologize? Or do you think OP should have bit her tongue and confronted her mother in private later?
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This post first appeared as She Kicked Her Mother Out of Her Apartment Because She Made Snide Comments About Her Boyfriend. Now Her Family Says She Was “Rude” and Should’ve “Brushed It Off!” on Quote Ambition.
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