This user’s parents favor her biological brother and treat her adopted sister like a live-in maid. She wanted to help her sister attend university but didn’t expect how angry this would make her parents!
Good for Her
OP (Original Poster) is a 21-year-old successful university student and app designer. Fortunately, all her efforts paid off, and she now has a reasonable income while still in school.
Two Peas in a Pod
She has a 17-year-old adopted sister, Amy, who wants to go to college and pursue the same path. However, as they did with her, OP’s parents refused to support Amy.
In fact, the problem lies beyond Amy’s course of choice.
OP explained that while growing up, her parents have always favored her younger brother over her and Amy.
She wrote, “I did not have a good relationship with my brother, and he doesn’t really respect me, but our parents always let him get away with everything.”
Aside from this, Amy always had the worst room in the house. OP’s parents didn’t even let her use OP’s room when she moved out for college, although OP gave her explicit permission to do so.
She added, “When I lived at home, I allowed her in my room, and we used to spend time together.”
OP clarified that she was never mistreated by her parents. However, it was evident that they favored her younger brother over her, and it was worse when it came to their treatment of Amy.
OP wrote, “My parents kept discouraging me from speaking and having a good relationship with Amy indirectly.”
Amy was also given way more chores than OP and her brother. So, she tried to help her out whenever she could, although Amy never asked.
She added, “We have a fairly big house, and because of these extra chores, Amy did not have much of a social life, but she was very studious—I am too—and is doing fairly advanced courses for high school.”
Right now, OP’s studying computer engineering at her university. However, it was only thanks to scholarships that she was able to get to do it.
She noted that her parents “disapproved” of her choice, making it known that they had always wanted her to be a nurse or a doctor.
OP’s parents told her they would only pay for her college education if she picked a course they agreed with.
Thankfully, OP was lucky enough to get a partial scholarship and some loan funding, helping her get into a top school. She added, “I started saving for college, doing freelance work, and releasing some apps.”
Following Her Footsteps
Now, OP’s noticing that Amy’s interested in the same things she was. She started getting into coding, although she didn’t start as early as OP did.
However, the problem is that OP’s parents refused to help Amy with her college tuition fee.
During their family’s Christmas dinner, OP’s parents suddenly announced to Amy that once she turns 18, they will retire. They told her, as if it were a huge favor, that she wouldn’t have to pay rent as long as she kept helping with chores.
This is where OP “saw red” and flipped out.
OP told her parents that it was wrong to see Amy as a “live-in slave.” Instead, they should recognize that she was smart and had a bright future ahead of her.
However, once again, OP’s parents held on to their dislike toward Amy and her choices. OP wrote, “They said they aren’t going to pay for her to go to college for a useless degree and that they needed help since they are retiring.”
Enough to Help
Fortunately, one of OP’s apps “did quite well,” and she was able to start a new company for it. She could comfortably pay off her debts when needed, she got a salary from her company, and now she could afford to pay for her adopted sister’s education.
The only problem was that OP wasn’t sure how sustainable things would be. She said, “It is just a startup, and if it loses momentum, it can fail. I am considering hiring another developer to help support it, but I am waiting till I graduate to decide about that. I also have investors interested, and I’m still thinking about that too.”
Taking on the Responsibility
So, while she has the capability, OP told her parents—and Amy—that she would be responsible for her sister’s education. She also told them she would be living with her should she get into a university in the same area.
After this, everyone thinks she’s a jerk because she refused to do the same for her brother.
She said, “I also gifted Amy a high-end laptop since she had no computer, and they say I favor her.”
Two Ends of the Spectrum
Now, everything’s a mess in OP’s family. On the one hand, she’s angry at her parents for what they did to Amy and also because they tried to “sabotage” her “side gig.”
But on the other, she feels that what she did might be unfair toward her brother. She said, “My brother might have felt hurt even though that wasn’t my intention. I am pretty sure I am not causing wrongdoing to my parents, and they can easily pay for my brother to go to college if he wants to.”
What Redditors Think of the Issue
Many Redditors had a lot to say about OP’s current predicament.
One user said, “Not the a**hole. Good for you for having Amy’s best interests at heart when it sounds like no one else does.”
“Adopting a child with ulterior motives is simply disgusting. Not the a**hole, and you are doing a great job supporting Amy,” someone else said.
The Best Way Forward
Many Redditors suspected OP’s parents adopted Amy to use her as free labor from the beginning.
A woman wrote, “Your parents probably brought her in as a pretty much live-in maid. Once you take Amy out of there, I would suggest you make a call to your local adoption agencies and tell them that your parents, if they do come calling, that they’re just looking for a maid in the house.”
“They adopted the girl to be a housekeeper. That’s disgusting. I don’t know how the foster care system works in the USA, but if there’s anyone that OP could report them to, she should, because they’ll definitely do it again once Amy moves away,” commented one man.
Do you think OP should have helped her biological brother as well as her adopted sister? Are her parents right or wrong for treating Amy this way, given how they’ve always favored their biological son?
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This post first appeared as She Promised to Fund Her Adopted Sister’s College Education and Refused to Do the Same for Her Biological Brother. Her Parents Have Been Enslaving Her, and This Is the Least She Could Do! on Quote Ambition.