This user’s husband demanded she switch her daughter to public school the following year. If not, then he wanted her to get her three stepkids into private school. This ultimatum’s just crazy!
A Strong Single Mom
OP (Original Poster) is a 25-year-old woman with an 8-year-old daughter. She had her daughter when she was very young, and her child’s father had never been in the picture.
Still, she did the best she could for all those years.
Thankfully, OP wasn’t alone in her journey. Her 34-year-old sister and her 39-year-old husband immensely helped OP over the years.
OP noted that it would have been impossible to raise her daughter alone and continue to attend college if they hadn’t helped her as much as they have. They’re a loving and generous family that looks out for each other.
Rich Family Members
To give some background, OP explained that her sister is able to be a stay-at-home mom thanks to her husband’s career. He’s very wealthy because of the family business that he runs.
Set Up for Success
Due to how wealthy OP’s brother-in-law is, he’s also able to pay for OP’s daughter to attend the same private school as his own kids. He has three children with OP’s sister: an 11-year-old boy, an 8-year-old girl, and a 6-year-old girl.
Quite a Sum
OP knows how expensive paying for four children to attend a private school must be.
However, her brother-in-law can afford it, and OP is very grateful to them for giving her daughter the opportunities she never had. In fact, OP had to attend a “s***** inner-city public school” that lacked the resources a private school would be able to boast.
But issues began to brew after OP married her 36-year-old husband. At first, everything was fine, and OP was eager to start a new life with him and his three daughters, aged 12, 9, and 7.
Each of his daughters attended a local public school, which was good but not quite on the same level as the private school that her daughter went to. This is where all of OP’s problems started.
Life Isn’t Fair
One night, OP’s husband told her he had to get something off his chest.
He didn’t feel it was fair for her daughter to attend a $40,000-a-year private school while his own kids were stuck in a public school.
Delivering an Ultimatum
He wrapped up his complaint with the demand that OP either send her daughter to a public school the following year or ask her brother-in-law to pay for his daughters to go to private school as well.
He wanted his daughters to have the same opportunities as OP’s daughter—whether through a public or private education.
Never Burn a Bridge
However, OP outright refused her husband’s demand.
She told him, “I’m not doing that because I want my daughter to have all the opportunities I didn’t have.”
Not a Gold Mine
On top of that, OP also informed her husband that there was no way her brother-in-law could afford to send seven kids to private school. He was wealthy, but he wasn’t Elon Musk-wealthy.
Trouble in Paradise
Unsurprisingly, OP’s husband didn’t like what he heard. He was furious and livid and started shouting.
Her husband once again reiterated he believes that his kids should have the exact same chances as OP’s daughter.
He told OP, “Our kids are siblings now, and everything needs to be equal between them.”
OP’s husband continued his objection, citing that his 12-year-old daughter thinks it’s “unfair that their stepsister goes to a fancy private school and they don’t.”
In one of the comments, OP also mused that her sister buying her daughter expensive gifts sometimes might have played a part in stoking this jealousy in her stepkids.
What the Community Thinks
The community quickly jumped on OP’s side and pointed out that this might be a hint of future troubles.
The top-voted comment from a Redditor was, “Not the a**hole. Did your new husband express any of these thoughts and entitlement before you married him? If not, it’s a huge red flag that he’s getting this attitude right after you married him. The thing is, legally, he has no rights whatsoever. But it might be a good idea for you to keep an eye on his changing attitude in general because it’s bound to happen with other things, too.”
Another Redditor wrote, “But even if OP’s kid has an absolutely loaded father in their life, the same rules still apply. That guy isn’t on the hook to support his ex’s new stepkids. Sometimes, fair isn’t equal. It’s not fair to OP’s daughter to have to settle for less just so that she could be on equal footing as her new stepsiblings. That isn’t the solution either to lessen resentment. The new husband is just shifting it around so it doesn’t affect his own kids. I bet I would feel resentful if my stepdad ripped me away from the only school environment I had ever known, away from my cousins, to a lesser school just to make his kids happy.”
What do you think? Was OP right or wrong for not agreeing with her husband?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Ask Her Brother-In-Law to Fund Her Stepkids’ $120,000 Private Schooling or Put Her Daughter in Public School. Her Husband Says It’s “Unfair,” but She Did the Right Thing! on Quote Ambition.