This user was going to be the maid of honor at her friend’s wedding but was replaced two weeks before the ceremony. When she asked for her money back, drama broke out!
OP (Original Poster) is a 28-year-old woman whose 29-year-old best friend was getting married.
She asked OP to be her maid of honor, and OP said, “Words can’t describe how happy I was.”
OP and her friend had been best friends since kindergarten and had always been together. So, she wanted to ensure her friend had the best wedding possible but didn’t realize drama would soon entangle her.
A Hefty Cost
For the bachelorette party, OP spent $700. She got cute outfits for everyone and a party bus with unlimited free drinks.
The Team Leader
Other girls helped pay, but since OP was the most financially stable, she took on most of the burden. She even helped her friend with the wedding planning to ensure it was perfect for her friend.
Logistics and Organization
She went above and beyond, and OP even took care of talking to vendors and setting up dates.
Anything her friend needed, she took care of so that the wedding would go without a hitch.
Cards and Feelings
OP even made the invitations and the “save-the-date” cards for the wedding. She wanted to help out and did a lot of the grunt work.
A Surprising Development
However, suddenly, drama caught up with OP!
Two weeks before the wedding, her friend came to her and asked if she would “step down” as the maid of honor.
Why Would You Do This?
Her friend explained that she wanted her future sister-in-law to be the maid of honor for the ceremony.
OP was furious when this happened, as she devoted so much time and money to ensuring the wedding would go smoothly.
Hurt Feelings and Heated Words
OP and her friend got into a big fight about the situation. During the argument, OP admitted that she said some things she regretted because she was so hurt by what her friend had done.
Since her friend ousted her as the maid of honor, OP refused to participate in the wedding. She got calls and texts from friends, family, the groom’s family, and even her friend’s soon-to-be sister-in-law.
All About You
Those phone calls and texts weren’t trying to make her feel better; they were rude and condescending. They said she was a “drama queen” and should “get over herself” and attend the wedding.
In the comments, OP explained she asked for some of her money back, which ultimately led the situation to worsen. Because of this, she was even accused of being “money-hungry!”
The Cold Reality
OP knew it wasn’t about her, but the situation had gotten to her. She needed to see if she was right or should have just gone along with what the bride wanted.
Cooler Minds Prevail
While the situation remained unresolved, OP had decided to let things calm down. She would wait a week, and then she would get back in touch with her friend and try to figure things out.
For now, OP asks, “Am I the a**hole for not attending the wedding? I feel like I might be because it is not my wedding, and she deserves to have the day of her dreams, even without me.”
What Redditors Have to Say
Many Redditors didn’t like how the story sounded and thought that OP’s friend had mistreated her. Some even considered whether or not her friend was using her.
The top commenter was straightforward about it, saying, “Not the a**hole. If you haven’t left any info out, it almost appears your friend wanted to use your funds for the stuff the maid of honor usually handles but keep the optics of having the future sister-in-law in the position. Even if that isn’t the case, waiting until this close to the date is shady and gross. They knew how much time, money, and effort you put in, and I doubt they made any offers to repay you, correct?”
Another Redditor was more forward about their suggestion, saying, “Not the a**hole, but I’d bill her for everything I paid for. She essentially used you to fulfill the duties and, when it was all done, gave the position to someone else. Send her an invoice.”
Confirming Her Suspicions
Reddit overwhelmingly sided with OP and believed that her friend was actively mistreating her.
One offered her some good encouragement, saying, “Girl, you are so not the a**hole here! You poured your heart and cash into making your best friend’s wedding epic, and then she pulls a switcheroo on you? Of course, you’re hurt and upset! It’s not about being a drama queen; it’s about being treated with respect after all you’ve done. Her family and friends must see the bigger picture instead of calling you out. Stand your ground, girl, and let them know you’re hurt, not just causing drama. You deserve better vibes!”
“Thank your should-now-be-ex-bestie. Her actions showed you exactly who she is and how she neither values you nor the financial and time commitment that you made for her wedding and wedding-related activities. She used you like an ATM. Inform her that the bank is now closed,” said another.
Do you think that OP handled the wedding situation the right way? What could she have done better, and how could she tell her side of the story?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Attend Her Best Friend’s Wedding and Asked For Her Money Back After She Was Forced to “Step Down” From Being Her Maid of Honor. Now She’s Called a “Money-Hungry Drama Queen!” on Quote Ambition.