This maid of honor did everything to help the bride with the wedding, only to find out her boyfriend was removed from the guest list. She insulted their relationship just because they weren’t engaged!
Sisters by Heart
OP (Original Poster), a 25-year-old woman, has been close friends with Jane, who’s the same age, since elementary and they have a sisterly bond.
What an Honor!
Jane is getting married in 2024. OP and their other friend, Emily, are both Jane’s co-maids of honor; they all came from the South, where wedding culture is a huge deal.
OP wrote, “I’ve never subscribed to the larger-than-life Southern wedding culture, but I eagerly embraced the role of co-maid of honor for Jane. I was thrilled to support her and do whatever was necessary to make her dream come to life!”
Could’ve Been Different
Jane and Emily’s friendship has had its ups and downs, and Jane would say that if she met Emily in the present, they would probably not be close friends.
OP explained that she and Emily were asked to be Jane’s co-maids of honor two years prior as Jane wanted a long engagement to the wedding plan. However, their friendship dynamics have changed since then.
Two Friends Engaged
Recently, upon sharing this story, Emily got engaged, bringing her and Jane closer as they would talk about wedding stuff. It made OP happy because, finally, it felt like not all of her and Jane’s conversations revolved around the same topic, but OP was wrong.
OP wrote, “Emily’s engagement has magically made all of the co-maids of honor duties fall to me since she is so busy planning her wedding, too, apparently.”
Goodbye, Unnecessary Ones
Earlier that week, before OP posted on Reddit, Jane informed her that she had to cut down her guest list due to venue restrictions. Jane was actually delighted to exclude all of her great aunts, cousins of cousins, and other relatives whom her grandmother insisted on being invited.
Including Her Partner
OP then said she would help with the seating arrangements and cut Jane’s guest list down. However, when OP saw the list of potential guests to be removed, she saw her partner’s name.
OP said, “I didn’t think much of it. Of course, my boyfriend of five years would be attending with me, right?”
Everything for Jane
OP is Jane’s go-to with everything about wedding planning. She has planned Jane’s engagement parties, wedding showers, and even her bachelorette weekend.
She noted, “I’ve exhausted hours over the last two years to commit to helping her plan her perfect day. I have taken days off work and spent thousands of dollars on wedding festivities for her.”
Insulting Her Relationship
Nevertheless, her suspicions were confirmed: Jane said she wasn’t allowing anyone to have a plus one in her wedding party except people in “serious, committed relationships.” When OP asked her to clarify further, Jane told her that it was for “engaged couples only.”
OP wrote, “Now, this made me upset. I have been with my partner for five years; we live together, and Jane has known him since we were kids. Emily is recently engaged after less than a year of dating and was told it was okay for her to bring her fiancé because it met Jane’s criteria. Emily’s fiancé is a real a**hole. He’s an a**hole who always ruins whatever he attends by getting obnoxiously drunk.”
Crack in the Glass
So, OP told Jane how she felt about her friend’s decision and that it was unfair. Then, they got into a fight, and now, they are not on speaking terms.
Outcast Maid of Honor
OP felt awful about everything as she wanted to be there for Jane on her special day, but it just didn’t seem fair for OP to watch everyone else enjoying their evening together while she was there all alone.
She also mentioned that other bridesmaids were shocked by that information, but no one else was affected but OP, as most of the women dated the groomsmen.
What Haven’t I Done?
Compared to OP, Emily has put zero effort into her role as co-maid of honor, and to OP, it feels like she’s being singled out for some reason.
OP wrote, “Jane’s family is like my family, and will ask why my partner is not with me. I guess I’ll have to respond that it’s because ‘we aren’t serious enough.’”
Don’t Be So Self-Centered
Eventually, OP informed Jane that she didn’t feel comfortable attending if she couldn’t bring her boyfriend, and Jane accused her of being an “entitled brat,” emphasizing that this wedding was not about OP.
OP said, “I get that, and I do feel that way now. Am I the a**hole?”
What Redditors Have to Say
The community thinks Jane can no longer be considered OP’s friend because of how she treated OP. They suggested OP try to get back all the money she spent on Jane’s wedding.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. You aren’t a friend anymore. You are a wedding planner expected to pay for wedding crap. She is using you. Drop out. For your information, Emily is going to get all the credit for everything you have done, even if you stay at the wedding.”
Another person wrote, “Since the wedding isn’t until next year, cancel anything you have arranged and get any deposits back that you can. She is not your friend. She is a user, and so is Emily. Inform her that you will not be attending her wedding so she has one more space she can allocate to any friend she has left.”
The Opposite of a Friend
People were appalled by Jane’s behavior, considering everything OP has done for her, and it wouldn’t be surprising at all if OP decided to cut her off as a friend.
A Redditor wrote, “She cut your boyfriend of five years and said engaged couples only? That is beyond hurtful and snobby. How can you and your boyfriend even be friends with these people after this? Jane is clearly the a**hole. She had two years to plan her d*** show. You stuck with her, and you were with the same guy. The fact that she said you were not in a ‘serious, committed relationship’ is hateful and insulting. I wouldn’t blame you for just ghosting her. She is no friend.”
Do you think OP should still attend her friend’s wedding? Was she making a big deal out of her boyfriend being excluded?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Attend Her Best Friend’s Wedding After She Uninvited Her Boyfriend, Saying They Were “Not Serious Enough.” She’s Blasted as an “Entitled Brat,” but She’s Sick of Being Treated Like an ATM! on Quote Ambition.