Her sister-in-law didn’t spend a cent in her six years of studying, having her brother shoulder everything. Now, she wants to study again and expects this Redditor and her husband to pay!
Fruit of Her Husband’s Labor
OP (Original Poster), a 33-year-old woman, has a husband of the same age, Luke, who funded his 24-year-old sister’s, Julia’s, education, both undergraduate and graduate. He supported her for six years, and recently, upon posting this, she graduated with her master’s degree.
A Deal Between Siblings
OP met Luke when Julia was a freshman. So, as early as then, she knew he offered to pay for his sister’s education for six years.
She said, “That was their deal.”
A Generous and Thoughtful Brother
Luke decided to do this because adulthood welcomed him with a lot of debt from school. As an older brother, he didn’t want Julia to worry or go through any of that; he only wanted her to focus on her education.
More Than Just Her Schooling
Fortunately, Luke’s business was booming, so he paid Julia’s tuition fee, apartment, car note, food, and other expenses such as gas, phone bills, clothing allowance, and more.
Within 6 years, he spent almost $300,000!
United as One
OP and her husband run their businesses together, and after getting married, they combined their finances. Luke’s business generated 10 to 15% more revenue than OP’s, but she earned “almost just as much as” him.
Anything for Julia
Four months before posting this story, OP and Luke discussed with Julia, asking her about her future after school. OP’s sister-in-law told them she wanted to stay near her friends, so Luke helped her get a job where the starting salary was in the low six-figure range.
Then, OP and her husband decided they would give Julia a rental property so she wouldn’t have to pay rent. OP added, “She would only be responsible for the utilities.”
An Expensive Change of Plans
However, Julia’s plans changed six weeks before OP posted this story. She resigned from her job and told Luke and OP that she wanted to continue her education in the United Kingdom and take a second master’s degree and her PhD right after.
What’s most surprising is that Julia is expecting OP and Luke to pay for it—again!
They’ve Given Her More Than Enough!
The couple discussed it, and OP told Luke his sister should take out a loan.
OP said, “He paid for six years of schooling, pulled strings to get her into her career of choice, and we gave her a free place to stay. I don’t think it’s fair that we pay another $200,000 to $300,000 for Julia to avoid working and not deal with responsibilities.”
Conjugal Finances
Luke agrees with OP’s opinion, but she noted that he was a “pushover.” So, she reminded her husband that they share finances and that her business brings in almost just as much as his.
Hence, she also has a say in the matter.
Controlling Others’ Thoughts
With that, Julia has been “complaining” to her parents and all of their relatives, saying that OP is “denying” her a chance to “succeed in life.” Then, Luke’s aunt said that it’s only “fair” for OP and her husband to continue paying for Julia’s education because Luke was the one who offered his sister a “debt-free” education.
Opposing Side’s Points of View
Now, OP wonders if she was wrong for putting her foot down and not allowing her husband to continue paying for his sister’s studies since she brings in half of their income.
She added, “This may make me look like an a**hole because Luke and Julia had a deal about her having a debt-free education.”
What Redditors Think of the Issue
For Redditors, there’s no denying Julia is a spoiled brat who feels entitled to have everything paid for and provided for her. So, it’s only right for OP and her husband to deprive her of what she wants so she can learn her lesson.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. She had a free ride through her masters. You helped her get a job with a six-figure salary and a rent-free place. If she wants a second master’s and a PhD, she can do that either after working to save up the money or do it part-time while working full-time to pay her own way. Her sense of entitlement is frightening. You and your husband have done enough.”
Another person added, saying, “Honestly, it sounds like Luke created a bit of a monster. She should have been working to cover at least some nominal costs for herself along the way, like groceries or utilities. I mean, he even gave her a clothes allowance. And then giving her a free place to stay after his promise was fulfilled, this is just wild. This girl is never going to learn to carry her own weight at this rate.”
Deal With It!
At some point, Luke needs to stop always giving his sister what she wants so she can stop being so dependent on him.
A Redditor wrote, “What? No. Also, if she’s not getting a funded PhD, she’s not good enough to be doing one anyway. Luke is an amazing brother, but at a certain point, she has to fly the coop, and his money is your money. No partner has the right to unilaterally spend a quarter of $1,000,000. Not the a**hole. It sounds like your sister-in-law’s expensive education hasn’t taught her gratitude.”
A Spoiled Brat’s Wake-up Call
The community thinks Julia should get a job, save money, and pay for her education, which she eagerly wants to take. Plus, she should be grateful for everything Luke and OP have done for her thus far.
Someone said, “Not the a**hole. She has an education and got a good job and a home without huge payments. She can work a few years and save. Then, if she really wants it, she can go to the United Kingdom and pay for her own continuing education if she wants a PhD. She is an adult and can support herself. She doesn’t need to be pampered further.”
Another person wrote, “Not the a**hole. Luke has done more than enough and probably more than he should have. OP’s sister-in-law is now spoiled. A reasonable adult would have thanked her brother, worked at the job, and saved up enough so she could finance her own second master’s if she so chose. Her sister-in-law needs a slap in the face and a reality check.”
Do you think OP was wrong for not agreeing to pay for her sister-in-law’s education? Are there any suggestions or advice you can give?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Fund Her 24-Year-Old Sister-In-Law’s Education Since Her Husband Already Spent $300,000 Sponsoring Her Schooling and Bills. She’s Had Enough of This Spoiled Brat’s Entitlement! on Quote Ambition.
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