This Redditor planned to keep the hefty inheritance she received from her grandfather all to herself. Her father demanded she give it up, and even if she refused, he’d do anything for the money!
An Unremarkable Childhood
OP (Original Poster) started her post with some background about her upbringing. According to her, her parents never planned for her birth.
Because of that, she never had a stable relationship with them.
The Only Way to Get Rid of Her
Since OP’s parents were young and inexperienced, they couldn’t afford to take her to daycare. Having no options, they sent her away to her grandma’s house while they worked and made a living.
Growing Up Rebellious
As the years went by, OP got used to what her parents did and her current living arrangements. However, she never saw them as “real parents or an authority figure.”
Due to this, she became a rebel and would “purposely p*** them off,” especially when they forced her to become a “lady.” She shared, “Yeah, it was that kind of household.”
Unreasonable Parenting
Due to how her parents treated her, it’s no surprise that she would always talk back to and argue with them. Even if she tried to state facts, they never heeded whatever she said.
According to OP, “They were the type of parents that would ground you for no reason at all, just because ‘they’d say so.’”
Their Emotional Manipulation
OP grew up with her parents trying to emotionally manipulate her. They would control her actions, forbidding her to go out or visit her friends.
Cryptic words like, “The situation was harsh,” were the only explanation they would give her whenever she was prohibited from going to other people’s places.
She Was Never Enough
Contrary to how her parents are toward her, OP’s brother and sister are treated better. She realized that she was the neglected one.
If that wasn’t enough to make her feel bad, her parents would always shame her for not being “enough.”
A Deadbeat Father
Meanwhile, OP’s father was not the responsible type, as he didn’t have a stable job. Aside from not having any income, he had a huge credit card debt.
In OP’s words, “He’s honestly a piece of s*** who never settled with my family and lived off my grandfather and my mother’s income.”
Her Father’s Excuse
The only thing shielding OP’s father from his responsibilities was his excuse of having a “certain progressive disease.” He had used that in his favor all his life.
Living Independently
Eventually, OP decided to move out. She also found a girlfriend to live with.
Living away from her toxic family, she felt a lot better. So far, everything has been great.
The Bittersweet Pot of Gold
Unfortunately, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows for OP for long, as she received the news that her grandfather had passed away. He was the real provider for all her needs—financial, emotional, and more—and she was devastated.
Despite the heartbreaking news, OP’s grandfather didn’t leave her with nothing. In fact, he bestowed a large inheritance that she could keep all to herself.
Her Father Wanted It
After learning about the money, it’s no surprise that OP’s father wanted it. He tried convincing her by saying it’s OP’s grandmother’s money.
OP’s grandmother is still alive, but she clarified in her edit that her grandma was too old and clueless about what to do. So, she really wasn’t sure which side she was on.
Oozing With Desperation
Desperate to break OP, her father sent her emails and messages daily. But instead of kind words, he would resort to calling her “a thief,” “a piece of s***,” and “a junkie.”
He also tried dragging her to the bank, but she wouldn’t budge. However, despite his attempts, the bank didn’t want to deal with him since he was not the beneficiary.
They Would Do Anything for the Money!
OP might be the unluckiest person in the world to be born to parents like hers, as they seemed to be on the same side against her.
Regardless, OP guessed they needed that money badly because no matter how much she refused, they would emotionally extort her.
The Sole Beneficiary
Even though OP’s dad claimed the inheritance was “grandpa and grandma’s money,” the bank still stated she was the sole beneficiary.
The inheritance was a payoff from a student loan covered by her grandpa’s insurance. OP spent over two years adding money to it, which her grandparents gave back.
They Had Everything to Lose
Per OP’s edit, her parents were cared for with pensions and a farm worth half a million dollars, but it’s a total loss. She added, “I just don’t understand why they need this quick bailout or why they can’t file the necessary paperwork to kick in the insurance policy and start receiving their pension.”
So, despite all the threats, OP’s confident her dad has everything to lose legally. “He’s so broke he wouldn’t be able to afford a lawyer anyways.”
She Could Never Trust Him!
Knowing her father so well, OP believed something fishy was going on. She said, “Everything is all just so sketchy, and I don’t trust my dad at all.”
To support this, she added, “My dad is drowning in debt and can’t be trusted with expenditures.”
What Redditors Think
Redditors took OP’s side and advised her to cut ties with her toxic family.
The top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. You’re listed as the beneficiary; everyone else can pound sand. Also, do you need to keep your abusive parents in your life? Seems like a perfect time to go no contact.”
Another stated, “Not the a**hole if the situation is as you describe. I would cut ties with all of them and live your life. I watch too many people fail to rise up to their potential because of an imaginary obligation to family.”
Don’t Forget About Grandma
Despite her parents being the worst people OP could ever meet, Redditors reminded her how she could still help her grandma if she wanted to.
One Redditor suggested, “If you choose to help your grandma, I would suggest clarifying what you’re willing to do. You know, the whole nine yards. Make arrangements directly. Don’t let anyone else get involved. Don’t let the discussion turn emotional. Depending on how large the sum is, maybe even get a lawyer in on thing—if you’re intent on helping her.”
Another commenter added, “Not the a**hole. I would suggest filing a cease and desist against your dad and escalating to a restraining order if he won’t stop harassing you. Then sit down with your grandmother and explain that there is no world in which you hand out free money that will end up in your father’s hands. That you want to help see her comfortable in her retirement, but that doesn’t mean a money faucet that she can funnel to her son. Either you can manage her finances directly or, if she would prefer, you can hire a neutral party to do it for you, but it does not mean throwing money into a farm-shaped hole and setting it on fire or letting your dad work his way into more debt. If she turns you down, she turns you down. Your grandfather probably knew that was a possibility when he made this decision.”
Knowing what OP has gone through, do you think it was right for her to keep the money for herself? Or do you want to give her parents the benefit of the doubt?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Give Her Deadbeat Father the Hefty Inheritance She Received From Her Grandfather. Now He’s Emotionally Blackmailing Her and Calling Her a “Thief” So She’d Give In! on Quote Ambition.
