This Redditor was accused of living an extravagant life when she refused to give her sister money. But the truth is, her sibling’s just crazy, entitled, and jealous!
Sisters Leading a Difficult Life
OP (Original Poster) is a 38-year-old, and her younger sister is 34. Their mom was a single mother, and she sadly passed away when the two were still in their early 20s.
She and her sister also didn’t have an easy life. OP wrote, “We were dirt poor, and every day was a constant struggle.”
Rising Above Humble Beginnings
When their mom died, OP knew she had no one else to rely on but herself. So, she strived to finish her studies to “make something better of herself.”
Finding Her Passion
OP grew up in a coastal town, and since going to the beach was free, she went there often. Soon enough, she found herself falling in love with marine life.
She wrote, “I decided to become a marine biologist, and it’s what I do today.”
It’s been years since she took that path, and OP’s life has significantly improved. She’s “not the highest up in her sector” and doesn’t “make millions.”
Her Happy Ending
However, she lives a “comfortable life” and has “financial security.”
She added, “My husband has a good, steady job in teaching, and we’ve got a couple of kids, so all in all, I’m satisfied with my life and think mom would be proud.”
Struggling Little Sister
Sadly, the same could not be said for OP’s sister. In fact, OP noted that she’s “becoming a problem” for her family.
She’s been asking them for money, and OP has always gladly helped her out.
OP shared, “She works as a hairstylist and definitely isn’t in poverty as we were in our childhood. She has a lovely home and a nice husband. But she’s become far more entitled over time in asking us for money, and it honestly p***** me off.”
Entitled to Ask For More
OP’s sister would consistently ask for “considerable amounts of money” without telling her what she needed the cash for. Whenever OP asked, her sister would roll her eyes at her and mutter something like, “It’s not like you need it anyway.”
A Show of Disrespect
Her sister also disrespects OP in her own home by making passive-aggressive comments about their “big, empty house.” Then, she’d ask how much certain furniture or ornaments cost.
Showing Off Her Wealth
More recently, OP’s sister has told her that she was “too extravagant” with her money and that she’s “flaunting her wealth” by having nice things.
OP wrote, “She said that it makes her jealous and prompts her to ask me for money. Frankly, the way she said it made me feel like she was blaming me, and I got really annoyed.”
You’ve Got Some Nerve!
While arguing, OP’s sister “unsurprisingly” asked her for money “in the same breath.” OP had always given in, but this time, she refused.
For her, it was time to put her foot down!
Since then, OP’s sister has given her radio silence. However, her husband, OP’s brother-in-law, kept texting her, saying his wife was “very upset,” and it was to the extent that “he feels the same way.”
So, now, OP’s asking, “Was I right to put my foot down? Have I unknowingly been an a**hole by showing off? Were there other ways I could have stayed on speaking terms with my sister besides giving her money?”
What Redditors Think
Redditors flocked to the comments section to share what they think of OP’s predicament.
One said, “Not the a**hole. Your sister is a taker, and you need to establish boundaries.”
“If it’s a one-way thing and she never gives it back, then she is using you and guilt-tripping you into giving her more money,” said another.
A Show of Support
Others quickly chimed in with some pieces of helpful advice for OP.
A man said, “Not the a**hole. Your sister views you as an ATM and nothing else. It’s one thing to lend money if a family member is in trouble. But ‘just because?’ No. Tell her the free ride is over.”
Someone suggested, “Your sister is jealous and bitter. Stop allowing her to take advantage of you. She needs to understand that you’re not a doormat. Stop enabling her entitled and bitter behavior. Install security cameras in and outside your house just in case she tries anything funny. Not the a**hole.”
It’s All Yours!
Then, people also reminded OP that it’s her money and it’s up to her how she wants to spend it.
“It’s OP’s money. If they want to have an expensive firepit and burn the cash, that’s more warmth and use than giving the money to OP’s sister,” said one user.
“Not the a**hole. It’s your and your family’s money. What you do with it is really no one else’s business. Not your sister’s, your wider family’s, your friend’s—no one. Your sister has a lot of resentment going on. Is that maybe something that’s carried over from childhood? Was she jealous of you growing up? It might be worth a joint counseling session or two to get to the bottom of it, only if you want to, though. At the end of the day, she’s the a**hole for the way she’s behaving, so not your issue to deal with,” said another.
What’s the best way for these two sisters to move forward? Have you ever been in an uncomfortable money situation with someone else?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Give Her Sister Easy Handouts. She’s Accused of “Flaunting Her Wealth” and Being “Too Extravagant,” but She’s Sick of “Enabling” Her Sibling and Being a Walking ATM! on Quote Ambition.