Her paternal grandparents were the only people who stepped up when her dad chose to leave her for his new family. Now that he needs help, OP (Original Poster) isn’t willing to give in!
Not Fit to Be a Husband
OP, a 30-year-old woman, and her father, who’s 64, have never had a good relationship. In fact, OP would classify it as having a “historically rocky relationship.”
Her parents divorced when she was only five, and her father married the woman he cheated on her mother with. Then OP explained that she is an only child, while her stepmother had four kids from her previous marriage.
Her Sole Support System
During her childhood, every summer, OP spent most of her allocated time with her dad with her paternal grandparents. Her paternal grandmother and grandfather lived in a different state, and she made sure to cherish the time she had with them.
OP said, “They would always go to bat for me.”
An Evil Stepmother
Unfortunately, there was some tension in their family at the beginning of her dad’s new marriage. This is because her stepmother demanded that OP’s grandparents return to the store one Christmas to get an “equal amount of gifts” for all her kids.
Her stepmom even took some of OP’s gifts to give to her youngest child!
He Was No Dad
There were also so many times that OP sat on her mom’s sofa, waiting for her dad to pick her up. Sadly, he disappointed her time and time again and never showed up.
Then, OP would later find out that he never came because he was on a vacation with his new family. OP wrote, “I could spend all day telling Cinderella stories, but I need to focus on this story.”
Wonderful Times
Thankfully, OP had wonderful grandparents who made up for all her dad’s shortcomings. They spent summers learning how to make baskets, garden, go camping, and other activities.
To OP, their home was her second home.
What a Strict Household!
When OP was 13, she went to live with her dad. But due to some “methodical brainwashing,” she rarely saw her grandparents.
Sometimes, her grandma would call, and they would ignore it. She added, “It would hurt my heart to see it on the caller ID knowing they were just on the other line, but my dad and stepmom would not allow it unless I sat at a table with them while on a call.”
Wanting Nothing to Do With a Thief!
Then, in the summer of OP’s first year of high school, they visited her dad’s side of the family. On their last night, OP’s aunt and uncle, who lived next door, asked if she could stay the night with her cousins.
OP’s stepmother wanted her youngest daughter to be included, but they declined because OP’s stepsister was a thief. After this, a fight occurred in their front yard that night, which resulted in physical altercations.
A Violent Woman
Her stepmom shoved her 74-year-old grandfather to the ground. Her grandpa had a hip replacement in the 90s and already had a stiff walk.
OP added, “I was utterly terrified and distraught. As the chaos ensued, I packed my belongings because they said we were leaving. I vowed then that this would be the last straw, and I would never forgive them.”
Gone Was the Man She Looked Up To
They even missed her grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary because her stepmom was still upset over what OP’s dad’s family “did to her” that summer night.
Come the following spring, OP’s grandpa had a stroke, and it was never the same. The man who helped raise her when her own father couldn’t can no longer remember her name and died in 2014.
The Man of Her Dreams
When OP turned 18, she left home for college, where she met her husband, who has been her rock and helped her when her father threw fits when things didn’t go his way.
OP wrote, “He has shown me nothing but unconditional love and support and is the father to our child mine never could muster to be.”
Losing Another Loved One
OP has gone no contact with her dad every couple of years due to his behavior. Because of this, she didn’t always believe in the saying that “time heals all wounds.”
Despite everything, OP maintained a relationship with her grandmother until she died in December, the year before this story was posted. OP added, “She was a cheeky one who left notes for us to find after death. This woman never forgot a thing when she felt slighted. That also reflected in her will.”
Meeting His Karma
When she died, OP inherited her grandparents’ house, which had been deeded to her since 2001. Her dad even knew it would be given to her, but she believed her father thought he could fight her for it.
Since 2012, OP’s dad and stepmom have been living in an RV, which is now starting to fall apart. She then explained that her father is a retired military and has no savings.
Trying to Be Sneaky
Because of his financial state and living conditions, right after her grandmother’s funeral, OP’s dad stashed his belongings in the closets inside her house; she discovered this after she changed the locks and added cameras in the house. OP explained that she did this because she lived out of state and wanted security before selling her current house and moving into her childhood home.
After her discovery, OP put her father’s stuff and the things owed to him in storage. Then, she gave the keys to her uncle, who was tasked to hand them over to her dad.
Guilt-Tripping Her Into Doing Their Bidding
When her dad discovered what she did, he got furious, and her stepsiblings reached out to her, accusing her of being “heartless” for keeping her dad out of his parents’ home. He even called her crying, and OP told him that if her grandparents wanted him to have the house, they would’ve left it to him.
OP added, “I also told him he should have treated his parents better when they were alive. I have the deed in my hands, and there’s nothing left for him to do about it. The estate is almost settled, and what land he does get will also have my name on the deed.”
Memories to Share With Her Child
OP would rather share her childhood home with her daughter and all the fantastic things it had to offer. This was something OP wholeheartedly planned to do, even if her dad would end up “homeless!”
What the Community Has to Say
People comforted OP by saying it’s not her fault at all that her father ended up that way and that where he’s at now is caused mainly by his choices.
A Redditor commented, “He literally made his bed, and now he can sleep in it. He cared more for your stepmother and her hellspawn than for you. So, I agree, if he ends up homeless, that is 100% on him and has nothing to do with you.”
The same Redditor wrote, “Don’t let some idiot who has zero stake in this come up and give you the ‘but he is family’ crap. He has not treated you as family, so he is not family to you. He is the sperm donor, nothing else.”
Don’t Sweat It!
Redditors also shared their own experiences and realizations on matters similar to OP’s and told her not to worry about it.
“You have no part in your father becoming homeless if that happens. He had his whole life to prepare for this and apparently failed. My dad did the same thing and then spurned my offer to live in a house I provided. He wound up in a s***** one-bedroom apartment and deep in debt, and I felt no remorse at all. So, sleep well, OP,” a commenter said.
Another person wrote, “He’s not a senior. He’s of working age and can buy his own home. I’m 63; I’ll fight you on this one. I can tell you from experience that cutting toxic parents out of your life for good is a wonderful, freeing experience. Please don’t feel guilty in any way!”
What do you think? If you were OP, what would you do?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Give the House She Inherited From Her Grandparents to Her Penniless, Abusive Father, Leaving Him “Homeless.” Now Her Stepsiblings Are Saying She’s “Heartless!” Was She Being Selfish? on Quote Ambition.
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