This woman lived her life under the shadow of her obese brother. Now, her parents want her to make life-altering choices for him, but she refuses and tells them he isn’t her problem!
Almost Didn’t Make It
When OP’s (Original Poster) younger brother, Teddy, was born, his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. Because of this, he wasn’t breathing for at least three minutes.
Since his traumatic birth, OP’s parents had coddled Teddy.
She said, “Since then, my parents often used that as an excuse for Teddy’s behavior. My childhood became a living hell with Teddy.”
OP’s parents would see Teddy as someone who could do no wrong. Sadly, it was the opposite for OP.
She wrote, “‘Give Teddy your candy! He died coming into this world!’ ‘Let him play with your friends! He died coming into this world!’ ‘Let him open your presents! Teddy almost didn’t have a birthday!’”
Putting up With It
OP had to go through years of Teddy’s tantrums, abuse, fits, and bad behavior.
She shared, “If I touched a single hair on his head, I got punished while Teddy got away with whatever he did.”
Moving Out and Starting a New Life
Everything got so bad for OP that when she turned 15, she moved away and lived with another relative. Since then, her contact with her family has been limited.
Now OP is 35, married, has kids, and has a full-time job. On the flip side, Teddy is 26 and still lives with their parents.
OP shared that when Teddy was 18, he decided to become a “competitive eater.” However, his so-called career turned into “just eating,” and he now weighs almost 600 pounds.
He’s Dependent on Them
Because of Teddy’s weight, he’s unable to hold a job. Their parents “still cater to him and pay for everything.”
OP wrote, “Since Teddy requires round-the-clock care, my parents hardly leave the house. They weren’t present at my wedding, only see the grandkids if I bring them around, and all family events like dinners have to be held at their house because it’s hard to move Teddy.”
A few days before this story was posted, Teddy suffered from a nasty fall. Because of this, he was brought to the hospital.
OP then noted that she and her husband came to visit him.
OP’s parents had a lot of complaints about the hospital.
She wrote, “My parents complained that the hospital wasn’t feeding him enough, didn’t have a wheelchair big enough for him, and naturally, they didn’t want to hear anything about his weight. It would be easier to turn water into gold.”
They then pulled OP and her husband aside and told them they didn’t have enough money to continue caring for him; they already had to “dip into their retirement funds.” Aside from asking OP for cash, they also suggested that once Teddy was cleared to go home, he could move in with OP and her family since they are “well off and have a bigger house.”
They told OP, “We can get a break ‘cause we have to care for him all year round while you just visit.”
However, neither OP nor her husband would agree to something like this.
OP wrote, “We both work full time. Our kids are enrolled in sports and dance. We made it clear that Teddy would not be moving in with us, nor would we be moving our schedule around to deal with him or giving them the money even though we could afford it.”
The Guilt-Tripping Begins Again
Like what they did to OP when she was younger, they tried to guilt-trip her into agreeing. They said, “He’s your brother! You almost didn’t have a brother!”
However, this time, OP wouldn’t be bullied into agreeing. They left the hospital, but OP made sure her stance was clear.
Later, OP’s mom called to berate her for “abandoning the family and Teddy and demanding money,” but OP told her that she would not care for Teddy “under any circumstances.” She said that even if something were to happen to them, she would not care for her brother because he was “not her problem.”
She wrote, “My mom cursed me out over the phone and hung up. I do feel a little bad because Teddy is my brother, but he made my life hell, and my parents refuse to take any responsibility for his behavior.”
The Community’s Pieces of Advice
Redditors wanted to point out that whatever trouble OP’s parents were facing now was their own fault.
“Not the a**hole. They enabled him to get to 600 pounds, close to his death. He’s not much longer for this world. These are based on his decisions, which you are not responsible for. They need serious family therapy to see how their behavior is leading to the death of their son. They can’t just help him get close to death and then pawn the problem off on someone else,” said one user.
Another noted, “They aren’t going to have Teddy around for long if he stays at 600 pounds. They are killing their own kid with food. The parents will most likely outlive Teddy.”
People hoped that OP’s parents would wake up to reality and face the consequences of their actions. They should make a change before it’s too late!
One noted that it was OP’s mom’s fault and said, “Dear mother has no right to tell OP that she’s abandoning her family when her family abandoned her long ago.”
Another noted, “I’d call someone an a**hole if they allowed a cat to get into that state; that these parents enabled their own child to get into this state is appalling. Yes, he’s an adult and should know better, but they’ve clearly enabled him since birth, so he stood no chance of developing self-awareness. If you asked them, I’m sure they’d swear they love him, and they’d mean it. They’re just too blinkered to see that what they think is love is actually just a slow, painful murder via baked goods.”
How would you comfort OP? What should Teddy’s next step be?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Have Her 600-Pound Brother Move In With Her Just Because She Had a “Bigger House.” Now Her Parents Are Cursing Her for “Abandoning” Her Family! on Quote Ambition.