This mom needs advice after she got into a fight with her husband for refusing to help her father-in-law financially. Whatever happens, she won’t give in because she believes her son deserves a good education!
A Struggling Single Mom and Her New Relationship
OP (Original Poster) was a single mom working at a shop when she met her now-husband. She was struggling financially to keep herself and her son afloat.
His son is currently 13 years old, and OP said he “has suffered so much and has always been her source of strength.”
She explained that her son is and will always be her priority. So, she wanted to make sure his future was secured.
Saving up for His Future
She believed he needed to have an excellent education to do that.
She shared, “I don’t have a well-paying job, but I was able to save up money toward his education. Unlike me, my son will have the opportunity to go to college and get a degree, so he won’t go through what I’d gone through.”
Her Husband’s Financial Problems
OP said her husband “doesn’t make good money” because his work had always been unstable. Aside from that, he was always struggling with money because he’d been taking care of his dad’s expenses for years.
Her father-in-law was sick, and after years of supporting him, her husband’s money had been depleted.
Pooling in Funds
OP said she helped out by paying rent and covering other things. However, her husband had been stressing about his dad’s upcoming surgery.
She shared, “He spoke to me about wanting to help his mom pay for it since he’s the only son they have.”
Can You Help?
Her husband also brought up her son’s college fund. He asked OP if she would be willing to help him with the money she had saved.
However, OP explained that she worked hard to save up and won’t be able to save up again so easily since their expenses have increased. After all, she’d been handling most of the bills.
Didn’t Expect Her Refusal
It seemed that OP’s husband never expected her to turn him down because “he looked shocked, saying he expected an entirely different response.”
Trying to Make Sense Out of Things
In turn, OP was also surprised that her husband expected she would say yes, so she asked him why he thought so.
OP shared, “He went on about how important his dad is and that he’ll return the money himself by paying it back every month.” However, OP noted that he doesn’t have a steady income.
That Escalated Quickly!
Upon hearing that, OP’s husband immediately got mad. He said OP was being “unreasonable” by prioritizing education over health.
That’s Not My Responsibility
However, OP quickly corrected him and said that his father’s health was not her responsibility. She added, “My son’s future is.”
Her husband kept arguing with her, but she stood her ground.
OP’s husband walked out and left for a few hours. He then texted her that he didn’t expect OP to refuse to support him during times of need.
Then, in one of his texts, he said, “I hope you’ll have that on your conscience for the rest of your life.”
Walking On Eggshells
The couple had been on bad terms ever since their fight. OP said, “All he talks about is his dad and nothing else.”
She said she understood that he was worried. However, her husband was making it seem like she was wrong for how she responded and that her priorities were “messed up.”
What the Community Thinks
For Redditors, there was no way OP was the a**hole in this scenario.
One advised, “Not the a**hole. Lock up your bank card so he can’t take anything behind your back.” Another said, “I think OP should contact the bank and maybe a lawyer about putting that money into a dedicated education fund or in trust for her son so it can’t be touched in the event of a divorce as well. Not saying that’ll happen, but you can never be too careful, and her son’s future is worth protecting.”
You’re Entirely Correct
They also commended OP for sticking up for her son. Redditors noted that she was right to say that her son’s future is her priority.
“Not the a**hole. You saved that money for your son for a reason. While I can understand your husband wants to help his father, it is not your responsibility,” said one user.
He’s a Freeloader
Some Redditors also called OP’s husband out for being a freeloader.
One said, “No steady employment, you’re paying all the bills—sheesh. Tell him to get a full-time, steady, well-paying job.” Another shared, “Your husband is being quite unreasonable by demanding you take money from your son to pay his father’s medical bills. If he believes he has the ability to ‘repay’ money he would hypothetically borrow, then he can just as easily repay a medical loan or whatever payment plan they could manage to work out with the hospital.”
How would you react if you were in the same position as OP? What advice would you give her?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Help Her Husband Pay For His Father’s Surgery Using Her Son’s Tuition Money. Now Her Husband’s Guilt-Tripping and Blackmailing Her Emotionally! on Quote Ambition.