This Redditor just wanted to build a good relationship with her estranged mom. So, when she was disappointed by her mother’s request, she turned to the community for some advice.
OP (Original Poster) is a 35-year-old who lost her dad when she was only 5. A few months after he passed away, her mom married a guy named John.
Abandoned by Her Mom
John has two teenage boys but doesn’t want to raise OP because “he never wanted to be a girl’s father.” OP said, “My mother, like a good mother, abandoned me with my aunt and took my brother, who was eight at the time, with her to live with her husband.”
Shunned by Her Mom’s New Family
But her mom’s abandonment didn’t end there. John was wealthy, and he always spoiled OP’s mom and brother.
On the other hand, John never bothered to get OP a Christmas present even once. Her mom didn’t do anything for her either.
All in all, OP had a very strained relationship with her mom.
She wrote, “She came to visit me once a month and didn’t even call me at Christmas or New Year. I always called, but many times, she didn’t answer.”
Her Newfound Family
On the other hand, her aunt couldn’t have children. So, her aunt and uncle took her as their own.
They raised her as if she were their own daughter, and they did not miss any of her milestones in life.
Striving on Her Own
OP didn’t have a lot of money because of her family situation. However, she was able to save some from her job during high school and some which she earned from her aunt.
Her savings was enough to get her through college, and she graduated with a degree in Computer Science. She said, “I went to work in a good company earning a great salary.”
A Much Better Opportunity
Eight years before this story was posted, OP received a much better offer from a large company, which she said is well-known for having great hardware products.
She wrote, “In that time, I accumulated a lot of money and helped my uncle and aunt renovate their house, and I always sent them a nice amount even if they told me to spend it on myself.”
Current Living Situation
It’s been years since she moved out of her aunt and uncle’s house, and she currently lives alone in “a great apartment with an estimated value in the millions.”
Surprisingly, she recently heard from her mom.
OP explained that her mom called her via her Instagram. She posted a lot of pictures of her trips and other “fancy places” she went to, so it was easy to find her.
Her mom then asked if they could meet, talk, and reevaluate their relationship. Her mom wanted them to forget the past and start moving forward as a mother and daughter.
Because OP had a soft heart, she agreed. She took it as a chance to “finally create the bond she had always wanted to have” with her mom.
So, they made an appointment at a restaurant downtown and met there.
When they met, OP’s mom immediately hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, and said she missed her. They took their time to talk about OP’s life, and she also asked her mom about how she was doing.
OP wrote, “She started to talk about how bad she was. Apparently, she divorced John, and my brother didn’t want to keep her as she is now poor. To make matters worse, she lives on a pension from John and has serious heart problems.”
Her True Intentions
However, after a while, her mom showed her true colors and her real intentions. She asked OP if she could pay for the surgery she needed.
OP shared, “The surgery was quite expensive, quite a lot.”
Disagreement Between Mother and Daughter
OP told her mom she “wouldn’t feel good” paying for the surgery. Then, her mom suddenly started yelling at her in the middle of the restaurant.
She said OP was a “terrible daughter” and was “letting her die” even though she could pay for the surgery. OP left the restaurant very embarrassed.
She turned to her aunt for advice. But OP was told it was her decision and reminded her that she had “plenty of money to pay and that it would not affect her financially.”
Even so, OP still didn’t want to do so because “she never felt like a mom to her.”
Redditors’ Thoughts and Suggestions
For the community, OP doesn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to.
A top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. She abandoned you; you don’t owe her a thing. I’m calling bulls*** on the heart problems, by the way. The fact that she abandoned one of her children demonstrates she has no heart. You’re better off without her.”
Another Redditor agreed with people who said OP’s brother didn’t seem to have any affinity with their mom either and said, “Maybe he just doesn’t like his mother because she is a s***** person. Yes, it is totally possible that the brother is now an a**hole himself, but we don’t know that. What we do know is that the mother is an a**hole and extremely selfish. She was willing to abandon her daughter. I guess it can be assumed she is and never was a good mother in general. So she probably also wasn’t a good mother for OP’s brother either. I wouldn’t blame any of her kids for not wanting to have her in their lives.”
What should OP do? Do you think her mom is telling the truth?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Pay For Her Estranged Mom’s Heart Surgery Even if She Could Afford It. So, Her Mother Shamed Her Publicly and Said She Was “Letting Her Die!” on Quote Ambition.