This Redditor never had a good relationship with her family. So, when her aunt asked her to pay for her surgery, she immediately refused, thinking she wasn’t responsible for anything related to her!
Living in a Nightmare
OP (Original Poster) is 32 years old and living independently. However, OP’s life wasn’t always as smooth sailing.
In fact, one might even consider she lived a real-life nightmare.
A Toxic Household
OP grew up in an “extremely tough” environment.
She wrote, “Most of my family was extremely neglecting, except my dad.”
Losing Her Saving Grace
Unfortunately, OP’s dad passed away early, and she was only 11 when he did. She got a stepdad, but he wasn’t any better than her mom.
Unfit to Be Parents
OP’s stepdad would ignore her most of the time. But to make things worse, he “refused to feed” OP.
Her mom wouldn’t feed her either, reasoning that the family was “pretty poor.” She wrote, “We were living in a mobile home, and we were struggling.”
In a Hurry
Because of her living situation, OP immediately moved out as soon as she turned 18. At this point, OP was “critically underweight,” and she said she would no longer allow her family to “torment” her.
Soon, OP ended up moving in with her aunt as she had nowhere else to go.
She wrote, “At the time, I was living in Sarasota, Florida. I had to move universities since my aunt was living in Miami, which is three and a half hours away from where I was previously living.”
Stuck in Another Nightmare
Sadly, living with her aunt wasn’t any better than living with her mom and family.
OP shared, “My aunt would refuse to feed me, and whenever I asked for food, she’d say the same thing: ‘You dragged your a** here, not me. Pay for your own food or start paying bills.’”
Time to Go
After 2 months of living with her aunt, OP lost 10 pounds despite the fact that she was already critically underweight. To make matters worse, OP was also getting “abused” at her aunt’s place.
She added, “I was extremely bony while my aunt was extremely strong, so I had to move out if I wanted to survive—again.”
A Strong, Independent Woman
It’s been 13 years since then, and she had never heard from her aunt. However, everything changed three months before this story was posted when her aunt called her, saying that she needed “urgent” surgery.
In a State of Panic
OP was concerned and thought that something horrible had happened. However, her aunt told her that the “urgent” surgery she needed was plastic surgery.
She explained, “She was complaining about her cheekbones and other parts of her face and said she’d probably even get her lips done.”
What Was “Owed”
Her aunt said that OP paying for the plastic surgery would be her “paying back everything she did.”
But OP immediately turned her down, saying she “had not done anything” for her.
For OP, if her aunt needed surgery because of an emergency or a health issue, she may have considered paying. However, she would never in a million years fund her plastic surgery.
OP’s aunt is absolutely furious. She accused OP of being “cheap,” saying how she behaved is “no way” to treat a “family member.”
She even said that she treated OP “deservingly.” So, now, OP asks, “Am I the a**hole?”
What the Community Thinks
Users flocked to the comments section to show OP their support, helping her realize that she was in no way the jerk in this scenario.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Even without the backstory, you’re not the a**hole. This is an unreasonable request and emotional manipulation by holding ‘everything she has done for you’ over your head. Save your money so you can afford to move to your own apartment and disassociate from your crappy family. Good luck, OP.”
“Not the a**hole. I am sorry you have had to go through that. Your aunt deserves nothing. No one from your family does. The fact that she has the gall to ask for money for plastic surgery for a very shallow reason speaks to her character further. She is a monstrous creature, and you should not feel obligated in any shape or manner to pay anything. Even if she had treated you well and fed you, you wouldn’t have had to pay a cent,” commented another Redditor.
You Owe Her Nothing!
People also went ahead and reminded OP that her aunt wasn’t someone she should thank. Yes, she was able to stay with her for a while, but this time of OP’s life was also filled with abuse and starvation.
A woman shared, “Not the a**hole. Why should you have to help her pay for plastic surgery she doesn’t need when she wouldn’t even buy you food and let you basically starve to death? I’m so sorry you had to go through that, OP; no one deserves that kind of treatment. I hope you are okay now.”
Another agreed, saying, “Not the a**hole at all. She practically starved you to death and then expects you to pay for her unnecessary surgery? Your rest of the family, too—can they still be booked under child abuse? ’Cause if they can, I’d do that. Immediately. Those must have been some horrible days you had to go through; I wish you all the best.”
Do you have any advice for OP? How should she deal with her aunt moving forward?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Fund Her Estranged, Abusive Aunt’s Surgery. Now She’s Guilt-Tripping Her, Saying She’s “Cheap” for Not Paying What She “Owed.” Was She Being a Selfish and Ungrateful Jerk? on Quote Ambition.