This Redditor turned to the community to ask if it was wrong to keep her inheritance all to herself, even when her sister didn’t receive a cent. Was she being a selfish jerk?
Written off the Will
OP (Original Poster) comes from an “extremely Catholic family.” Unfortunately, her cousin found out that her younger sister had a girlfriend in her senior year of high school and went on to reveal it to the rest of their family.
As a result, her sister got cut off from the family.
Struggles of Being Estranged
OP’s sister ended up having to take out loans to pay for her college education. Then, when their mom died, her sister was banned from the funeral.
She wrote, “Even though we were never close, I’m the only person in the family who still talks to her. We’re basically on ‘Christmas card’ terms, if you will, but that’s about it.”
The Sole Inheritor
When their dad passed away a year before this story was posted, OP became the sole inheritor of everything.
OP’s dad’s house, car, and savings went to her. Her sister wanted to contest the will, but her lawyer advised against it, saying it would be a “waste of money” since their dad made sure to have his will drafted by another lawyer to prevent her from being able to do so.
Can You Help Me Out?
OP’s sister then turned to her and asked her why she couldn’t just give her a share of the inheritance. She said she would have been okay with OP paying off her student loans or giving her the car.
Doing the Math
However, after much consideration, OP realized that if she sold the house and the car and added her dad’s savings, she would have enough money to pay off her home, her and her husband’s cars and set up a college fund for her two young kids.
She wrote, “I’m also pregnant, so that’s another college fund I need to think about.”
A Strained Relationship Right off the Bat!
OP then explained that she and her sister “were never close,” primarily because of how she was treated by the family before they found out her sister is a lesbian. Kids being kids, OP’s sister would always blame her for the things she did.
It’s a Facade
Sadly, OP doesn’t have much affinity toward her sister. She shared, “Even as adults, we never got along that well. I’m just nice to her because I don’t care that she’s gay, and I did attend her wedding.”
However, when it comes to the discussion of money, for OP, the most important thing is that she prioritizes her husband and children; in the end, she refused to split the inheritance. She wrote, “My sister cut me off permanently, and while that does make me sad, I feel it’s worth it to secure my family’s financial future.”
I Don’t Like Her as a Person!
In an edit, she said she wasn’t Catholic anymore, and she explained that not liking her sister has nothing to do with religion. OP dislikes her sister because “even though she’s gay, she doesn’t have progressive values.”
In fact, OP’s sister and her wife blamed immigrants for her sister-in-law’s inability to find a job. They also said “disgusting things” about transgender people on social media.
She’s a Jerk, to Put It Simply
She argued that she “never cared” that her sister’s gay. OP “just doesn’t like her because she’s a jerk.”
OP noted that she didn’t include this in the main story because she thought it was irrelevant. However, since many people were calling her a “bigot” for her decision, she decided to add it.
Honoring Her Parents’ Wishes
OP also noted that her sister’s political views were not the basis for her decision. After all, she decided not to share the inheritance to follow and honor her parents’ wishes and to secure her family’s future.
She’s getting frustrated that people are accusing her of making her decision out of “bigotry” when it was “much more complicated” than that.
Decisions and Political Views
She then explained that if any of her kids adopted her sister’s view, she would be “upset” and try to change their minds. However, she would never cut them off of her will.
OP wrote, “If you really changed your judgment based solely on her political views, then I’m sorry, but you’re way more bigoted than I could ever be, and I sincerely hope your children never make the mistake of thinking differently than you.”
Not One to Isolate
OP emphasized that though she disagreed with her sister’s views, she would never use it to “deny her something that’s legally hers.”
However, that wasn’t the case here. She wrote, “The issue here is this money wasn’t legally hers, and my parents made it clear they wanted it invested towards their grandchildren’s future well-being, so that is what I based my decision off of. It had nothing to do with her s******** or political views.”
Redditors’ Opinions on the Matter
The community flocked to the comments section to give OP a piece of their minds. Some agreed with her decision, especially after the edits were added, while some stuck to their judgment that OP was wrong.
A user who agreed with her said, “No way is OP the a**hole. She has clearly stated that her sister’s s******** is not her reason for not splitting the inheritance. It was her parents’ reason for not including her in the will in the first place. Her reasons, as stated above, are one, never having a close relationship until the rest of her family disowned her, and OP was the only person that did not. Two, her transphobic comments. Three, her racism.”
Another commented, “After reading your edit, not the a**hole. Your parents and sister are definitely the a**holes but for different reasons. Being gay doesn’t stop people from being bigots. I wouldn’t want to help her either. Also, you probably would have gotten more ‘Not the a**holes’ if you included your edit in the original post.”
A Jerk Through and Through
On the contrary, others feel that OP’s still a jerk, even with her edits.
“OP is still the a**hole. As others have pointed out, this reasoning was clearly an afterthought which begs the question of how true it is and how relevant it has been to OP’s decision-making,” said one Redditor.
The same person said, “More importantly, the sister wasn’t disowned for being a bigot; she was disowned for being gay. This is OP’s chance to right that wrong. Whether the sister is a d***** now is irrelevant to the parents’ decision and likely would’ve been if they’d never thrown her out for being gay. She was removed from the will for being gay. OP can make that right in some way. As family, she has that responsibility OP is choosing not to, which makes her the a**hole. It’s really easy to judge other people’s lifestyles or perspectives when you’re coming from all the advantages they don’t have. OP, you’re the a**hole.”
Was OP too much? Should she share her inheritance with her sister?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Share Her Inheritance With Her Estranged Lesbian Sister Who Got Written off Her Conservative Catholic Family’s Will. She Says She’s Prioritizing Her Family, but She’s a “Bigot!” on Quote Ambition.