She didn’t grow up with happy memories of her dad but still chose to forgive him. She inherited everything, and now her uncaring siblings want a cut even if they hated their dying father!
A Military-Style Household
OP (Original Poster) didn’t have fond memories of her dad growing up. He raised them in a “strict, military-style household,” and he was a “horrible father” who took things to the extreme in their childhood.
He treated them like “his property” and “belittled” them as if he hated their existence. Because of this, all his kids stopped talking to him.
You’re Not My Daughter!
When OP was 15, her dad disowned her because she got pregnant out of wedlock with a Black man. He kicked her out to fend for herself, even while pregnant!
OP had to figure out how to provide for herself and her child.
A month after OP’s mom passed away, her dad ended up contacting her. He was crying and apologizing for how he treated her and her siblings and asked if they could meet.
OP believed his dad wasn’t the “greatest” father, but she still decided to meet up with him because his actions didn’t change the love she had for her dad.
When OP and her dad met, she noted that he “seemed very genuine.” So, she continued seeing him, and soon, she saw him three times a week.
She noted that her dad tried to contact her other siblings, but none of them “gave him the time of day.” OP even tried talking to them on his behalf, but they “basically told her to allow him to die a lonely death.”
The Only One He Has
Later on, her dad got very sick, and OP ended up moving in with him with her two kids so she could help take care of him.
She wrote, “I learned things about my dad that I never knew, and I actually started to love being around him and see him as a different person. I chose to forgive him.”
A Difficult Time
Given everything, it was a tough time for OP. It was challenging to look after two kids as a single mom and care for her sick dad simultaneously, but she pushed herself through everything until his death.
However, she noted that, at some point, she asked her siblings to help her out by taking care of her kids since her babysitter moved, and only one person was allowed to be with her dad during doctor appointments. But they all just mocked OP for even helping.
Thoughts Fueled by Hatred
Apart from mocking her, her siblings even asked her to send them pictures of him “so they could see him weak.”
OP and her siblings used to be close, but they became distant the moment she started talking to her dad.
It’s All Yours
Now that her dad had died, OP learned she inherited everything he owned.
She wrote, “I have inherited everything from him and learned that my father owned a lot more properties and had a lot more money than I could have ever imagined.”
We’re Entitled to a Cut!
Now, her siblings suddenly say they are “entitled” to some part of the inheritance. They even threatened OP that they’ll cut contact if she didn’t give them anything and accused her of “becoming like her dad.”
She said, “They feel like since they had to go through having my dad as a father, they deserve some kinda payout.”
I Don’t Think So
However, OP disagreed with her siblings. She firmly believes that she got the inheritance because she gave her dad another chance and helped him when he was at his weakest.
She went through a lot by juggling him and her kids, even if she didn’t get any help from her siblings. More than that, they made fun of her for helping her dad and choosing to forgive him.
Forgiveness Is a Choice
OP believes forgiveness is a choice, and she said she respected her siblings’ choice of not forgiving their dad. But at the same time, she noted that none of her siblings respected her choice to forgive him; instead, they “added more difficulty” to her life.
OP wrote, “They act like it was either them or my dad and now are acting like I’m being selfish for not sharing the inheritance my dad left for me.”
In an edit, OP clarified that she wasn’t upset at her siblings for not forgiving their dad. Instead, she was upset because of how they treated her for her choice to forgive and build a relationship with him.
OP said, “They made a lot of low blows at me using my past abusive relationship as ammunition.”
Opening up Old Wounds
She, however, understood that her siblings were dealing with a lot of trauma and that perhaps seeing OP with their dad “may have opened up some old wounds.” She noted that maybe her siblings felt OP chose their “abuser” over them.
OP doesn’t want her kids to go through life without an aunt or uncle because of money. So, she’s already considering giving her siblings a part of the inheritance.
The Community’s Pieces of Advice
For Redditors, it was up to OP to decide what to do. She won’t be an a**hole for not giving them a cent, but she should be prepared to lose her relationship with her siblings if she chooses this route.
This Redditor said, “Not an a**hole, but be prepared to lose your siblings over it. You made your choices. And, to be honest, your dad was s***ty right up until he died by leaving your siblings out of his will purely for spite. He knew he was a bad father and chose pettiness in the end. You’ve chosen your inheritance over your siblings. You may feel justified, but you aren’t in the right, and neither was your dad. Your bed is made, and it’s time to lay in it.”
The Money Is Yours!
For others, OP deserved every cent of the inheritance. Her siblings’ choice led them to not have a part of the fortune OP was left.
“They made the choice to not have a relationship or help and for him to die alone. OP managed to find it in her to forgive and start spending more time with him before he got sick. She cared for him before he passed with no expectations while bringing up two kids on her own. They are the ones willing to cut her off for getting an inheritance that they did not get. They should be happy for her. She was the youngest and was thrown out at 15. Where were they for her then? They are just as bad as the father was. OP should ignore them, and if they decide to cut her off, so be it, go and build a great life for her and her kids, get financial advice, and set up a trust of some kind so that she keeps everything in good order. Not the a**hole,” noted one user. Another agreed and said, “Siblings don’t sound very nice. They took it too far. Don’t want to help? Okay, that’s fine, but you want a picture of him weak and on his deathbed to laugh at it? No. Just no.”
What do you think OP should do? Should she give them something or keep the money for herself and her kids?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Share the Inheritance Her Estranged Dad Left Her With Her Siblings After They Refused to Take Care of Him When He Got Sick. Was She a Jerk? on Quote Ambition.