This Redditor found herself torn between following her sisters’ demands or standing up for herself. But they’re just trying to stir her emotions to make her give in!
A Complex Inheritance Dilemma
OP’s (Original Poster) father passed away without a will, leaving behind a substantial estate. Since he and OP’s mom were divorced, all his estate would automatically be transferred to OP and her full biological sister.
However, the issue is that OP also has a third sibling—a half-sister from her mom’s previous relationship. Given that she’s not her dad’s biological daughter, she was automatically excluded from the inheritance; still, she wants one-third of what OP and her other sister got.
Splitting the Inheritance
This wasn’t a problem for OP’s biological sister. Since she’s well-employed, she expected OP to give their half-sister one-third of the total inheritance as well.
However, this wasn’t something OP could immediately agree with.
After all, OP is a single mother whose main priority is her nine-year-old child. Her kid has a “severe cleft lip and palate” and will need “significant dental work and a series of dentures” to cover a hole in the roof of his mouth.
She said, “There’s a 50/50 chance that surgery can repair it.”
Like her child, OP had medical issues she needed to address and solve.
OP wrote, “I also have cleft and cleft-related dental problems that I would like to have addressed.”
Additionally, OP “does not have a good financial situation,” especially as a single mom.
Because of this, she wants to “hold on to the bulk” of her inheritance, as it was enough to cover her and her child’s dental work plus get them a “very modest rural house.” After these expenses, there won’t be enough for much more.
A Tug-Of-War Over Inheritance
Despite knowing about her financial situation, OP’s biological sister and their half-sister are both “upset” with her refusal.
She said, “They are both upset and want to dictate how I share my inheritance, even hinting that they should be able to review my tax returns to see the tax rate I withdraw my inherited IRA at.”
Like OP, her half-sister also “does not have a good financial situation.” In many ways, though, for OP, it was self-inflicted.
For example, OP shared that her half-sister and her husband both have current DUI charges, so neither has a driver’s license.
She added, “They also have kids, but their kids are adults.”
Despite the fact that the inheritance dispute substantially impacted the OP’s connection with her sisters, their relationship was “very poor” even before the inheritance issue.
Her half-sister, who sought a one-third share, cruelly taunted OP, labeling her a “loser” and saying she was “gross.” Her full biological sister was even more unpleasant, although she approached her insults in a more “professional” manner.
Moreover, OP doesn’t think her biological sister or half-sister deserves anything from her dad.
OP wrote, “Neither was close to my father. In fact, the sister who wants one-third had not taken the time to go and visit him even once in the last 20 years but did do one visit when he was on death’s door.”
Sisters Are Sisters for Life
But even if OP hates that she’s being “bullied” by her siblings, she plans to keep the peace by offering a yearly stipend to her half-sister. However, she stands firm against the demand for a one-third share.
The only “equal” one-third they would be getting would be the inheritances from their mom’s side.
However, OP added, “But hopefully not for a very, very, very long time.”
Emotional Toll and Moving Forward
The emotional toll of this inheritance dispute weighs heavily on the OP. In fact, the constant bickering and demands strain her mental well-being.
Despite these challenges, though, she remains determined to make decisions at her own pace, refusing to succumb to external pressures.
The Community’s Thoughts
Users rallied behind OP, telling her to stick to her guns and not give in to her sisters’ emotional blackmail.
A top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. You have made your decision. You have communicated. You are done. They don’t have to like it. They just need to accept it. How? For starters, stop negotiating. Be clear. You are keeping your share of the inheritance. You will not discuss it any further. And no, don’t give her an annual sum.”
“The way these things work is that if Dad wanted your half-sister to have a third of his estate, he would have written a will to include her. He did not. Therefore, he did not intend for his stepdaughter to inherit from his estate. Presumably, your father took on board that his stepdaughter never came to visit and made his arrangements accordingly. Therefore, you don’t need to go into long explanations about cleft palates and single parenthood. Not the a**hole,” said another Redditor.
She Has No Right!
Others also reminded OP that her half-sister, who couldn’t even be bothered to visit their dad, had no rights to his estate.
One woman wrote, “If she couldn’t be bothered to visit in 20 years, I wouldn’t give her a penny. She’s technically not entitled to anything anyway. Definitely not the a**hole.”
Another user remarked, “Not the a**hole. Your half-sister isn’t even your father’s daughter. That inheritance isn’t hers. You guys have health issues that you need the money to fix. If it’s such a problem for your half and full sister, then your full sister can split her half of the inheritance and give it to her half-sister. Half-sister is super entitled and sounds like the type of person that will waste that money.”
Do you think OP’s half-sister deserves even a cent of her inheritance? What would you advise her to do?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Split the Inheritance She Received From Her Dad With Her Toxic Maternal Half-Sister. Now She’s Being “Bullied” Into Giving In, but She’ll Never Change Her Mind! on Quote Ambition.