This user’s stepsiblings descended like vultures just days after her mom died and started demanding a cut of her inheritance. She refused, and now they’re absolutely furious!
Building a New Family
OP’s (Original Poster) late mom, Deb, married her late stepfather, Steve, around 15 years ago.
This wasn’t the couple’s first stint at marriage, and it was, in fact, a second marriage for both of them after both of their first spouses had died.
Separation of Assets
Before getting married, Steve made it a point to have Deb sign a prenuptial agreement.
She wrote, “His house had already been put in an irrevocable trust in which his three children were beneficiaries, and he was the trustee. So his kids got the house. He also had a relatively complicated unfunded trust setup that was originally going to be funded by liquidation of his traditional IRA upon his death that would provide support to my mom with Steve’s kids getting whatever was left when she died.”
Hardships and Medical Issues
But around halfway through Steve and Deb’s marriage, when Steve was still “fully mentally competent,” he “changed things up.”
It turned out that Steve was battling a degenerative disease and had an inkling as to “what was coming in the future.” Because of this, he decided that he needed to be “more generous” to Deb.
IRA Beneficiaries
Given this development, Steve started talking to an attorney who explained how “liquidating one’s traditional IRA in a single year” would be a big problem for taxes.
She wrote, “I’m not sure because I wasn’t privy to the changes until years later, by which time my stepfather was no longer competent to explain what his reasoning had been.”
Specific Changes
With the changes in the will, Deb will now get the “vast majority,” with only a “small percentage” going to each of Steve’s three kids.
OP added, “You don’t need to involve an attorney when you change your IRA beneficiary list, but he did. It was all official and typed up by an attorney. He also made a change to the Spousal Lifetime Access Trust so that my mother could live in the house for a few years while paying rent after he died.”
Death, One by One
But then, a little over a year before OP posted this story, Steve died. Then, about a year after he did, OP’s mom died.
Eager Kids
Then, as if there was a whirlwind around OP, two of her three stepsiblings suddenly showed up within days after her mom died. They were “champing at the bit” to get their dad’s house sold.
Going With the Flow
Though OP felt everything was going “super fast,” she didn’t want to deal with their possessions alone. So, she just “went with the flow.”
She added, “I got a few sentimental possessions and let my kids pick some things out, too, but most of the possessions were given away or donated.”
Plans to Acquire More Money
Then, a week after OP’s mom’s death, her third stepsibling called her.
All her stepdad’s kids demanded they talk about the IRA money Deb had inherited from their dad. Simply put, they wanted the money.
Different Points of View
As OP put it, in their opinion, the “fair” thing would be for OP to give each of them one-fourth of the money. Then, the remaining one-fourth would go to her.
Monetary Dispute
However, OP told them no. She stood firm, refusing to divide the inheritance evenly, and insisted on following the original beneficiary list.
She added, “It would be distributed according to her beneficiary list, and they weren’t on it. They think this is very unfair and that I am the a**hole. Am I the a**hole?”
Redditors’ Opinions on the Matter
For Redditors, OP’s half-siblings lost their right to the money when Steve changed his will and beneficiaries.
The top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. The money was given to your mother, who gave it to you. They have no right to the money. ‘Hey, sorry your mom died. Take 75% of her money and give it to us, and by the way, get her s*** out of our house.’ Sweet folks—of course, they think it’s fair that they get money, but they have no right to it. It stopped being their father’s money when it was given to his wife—your mother. Now she gave it to you. Done deal.”
Money Is the Culprit
Some then pointed out how money brings out the worst in humans.
“People get amazingly entitled or greedy at funerals. Time to drop all communication because this will never not be an issue—trust me,” said one man.
Another wrote, “They went straight to the ‘give us what we are entitled to’ line. People suck, but some really suck.”
Absolutely Zero Rights
Then, some people also said that this was what Steve wanted. So, although his kids think they’re entitled to the money, OP should stick to what she thinks is right.
“Not the a**hole. They got a small percentage and a third of the home sale, and what’s more, it was never their money. It was their father, Steve’s, and he wanted it to go to Deb. It did—and Deb wanted it to go to you. It did. They counted their chickens before they hatched,” said one user.
Do you think OP should consider her stepsiblings’ suggestion? Should she give them a cut of her inheritance?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Split the Inheritance She Received From Her Mom With Her Stepsiblings. But They Think She’s Being “Unfair” Since the Money’s From Their Dad! Was She Wrong? on Quote Ambition.
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