Not long after her miscarriage, her sister declared she was pregnant, throwing that fact in her face. She’s hurt and tired of her sibling always making snide comments about how she can’t have a child!
Eldest Comes First
OP (Original Poster), a 23-year-old woman, and her 26-year-old sister were not that close while growing up, as the latter was her parents’ favorite daughter.
Shaming Her Appearance
OP’s sister was slim and fit while OP had PCOS, and she always held that resentment against her sibling, especially when she “belittled” OP with her mom.
She wrote, “Not letting me eat more than one serving of dinner or more than one serving of dessert. Telling me that sleeping in was making me gain weight. She always overshadowed my accomplishments.”
When OP’s sister was 23, she married a 28-year-old rich man from their community. They are Indian, and the marriage was arranged.
They now have three lovely children, and OP loves her niece and nephews more than anything.
Her Own Family
On the other hand, OP married her 26-year-old husband when she was 21, and they have been trying to conceive for almost a year.
OP’s sister always said that her not being able to have a baby was due to her bringing “shame” to her parents for marrying outside their culture.
Several months prior, after a lot of negative pregnancy tests, they finally had a positive one. Unfortunately, after four months, OP lost the child.
She said, “I was devastated. I couldn’t believe what was going on.”
More of What She Never Had
Two months later, OP’s family threw her sister a birthday party. Then and there, she and her husband announced they were pregnant.
OP wrote, “My heart did ache, but I was happy for them.”
Direct Shots at Her
Throughout the party, OP’s sister kept making comments such as, “We weren’t even trying for a baby,” or “It’s so funny how we get pregnant so easily.” And just as OP thought things couldn’t get worse, while standing with their cousins, her sister said, “We didn’t even want more kids. I was almost contemplating having an abortion,” all while looking at OP.
In Her Face
OP doesn’t have a problem with women having abortions; in fact, she fully supports them. However, having her sister use it as a weapon against her and showing off how fertile she is and how she was contemplating having the procedure after deciding to keep the baby and publicly announcing it really hurt OP.
She said, “I was so upset and frustrated.”
Time to Go
OP’s husband noticed the change in her emotions immediately. So, they said goodbye to her parents and left the party right after.
Put Aside Your Envy
Because of that, OP received many text messages from her sister and their cousins. They called her “jealous” and an “a**hole” for “walking out” on her sibling’s birthday party and not being a part of their pregnancy celebration.
This Time, Herself First
But OP’s husband and their friends say that OP had every right to feel the way she feels. She has now cut her sister off and no longer speaks to her or anyone from their family, including her parents.
Now, she asks, “So, am I the a**hole?”
What the Community Has to Say
People begged OP to stay away from her family as their intentions appeared only to hurt her.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Your family sounds like they suck.”
Another person agreed, saying, “Yes. OP, for your mental health, please distance yourself from these people. I will also say that I find that happy people generally don’t need to hurt other people. The sister was definitely trying to hurt OP, which makes me think she isn’t as happy as she is trying to present herself.”
No One Else Could Understand
The community offered their sincere condolences for OP’s loss. Her sister would never understand the pain she’s been through.
A Redditor wrote, “Not the a**hole. First of all, I’m sorry for your loss, and second, she stepped way too far to call you jealous. Good for you for leaving. Put you first.”
Someone else said, “Not the a**hole and I’m so sorry for your loss. Your sister has no idea how painful an experience that can be, and it sounds like she doesn’t care enough to check in with you to find out.”
Draw the Line
An Indian Redditor suggested OP set some boundaries for her family and wished her the best in her life.
One commenter said, “Fellow Indian with PCOS who married a non-Indian. First of all, hun, your family is toxic—it’s time to set some boundaries. Two, no, you are most certainly not the a**hole. Your family disregarded your pain, and your sister did what she did specifically to get a rise out of you. You left, and she was able to use that against you. This leads me back to the first point: boundaries! Do not share so much. The less they know, the better. Tum kaise, hum kaise and that’s it. Lastly, I’m sorry about the miscarriage and wish you nothing but luck on this journey. Hugs!”
What can you say about OP’s story? Was she wrong for leaving her sister’s party?
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This post first appeared as She Walked Out of Her Sister’s Birthday Party After She Announced She Was Pregnant for the Fourth Time. Everyone Said She Was “Jealous” Because It’s Difficult for Her to Have a Child! on Quote Ambition.