This Redditor has been married to her husband for 25 years. He started stealing her prescription oxy, lying, and gaslighting her when she confronted him, so now she wants a divorce!
In the Beginning
OP (Original Poster) is in her late 40s and has been married to her husband—who’s also in his late 40s—for 25 years. Her husband used to be an addict and was doing meth when she met him.
She admitted that she was “slightly naive.” He protected her, loved her, and fulfilled all of her needs and desires.
Tying the Knot
So, she ignored all the signs. They fell in love, and he managed to get off meth, and soon after marriage, they had a baby.
OP believed he was the “love of her life.”
Faith in Family
OP had hoped that her husband would be able to stay clean for the sake of their family. And, for the most part, she thought it was the case.
It’s now years since she first put her trust in him, and now they are both proud parents as their “baby” is already graduating from college.
Where It All Began
However, everything started with OP’s oxy prescription, which she took to manage her pain. She explained that she’s a 100% disabled veteran with chronic pain and a rare condition.
One Here, One There
Her husband, on the other hand, was in a car accident that left him injured. To help with the pain, he’d “borrow” a pill here or there from OP.
Once he was able to get his own prescription, the “borrowing” stopped—or so she thought.
Mistaken Beliefs
Unfortunately, about 10 years into her marriage, OP discovered she’d been mistaken about her husband’s ability to stay clean. She started to think she was “going crazy” because every time she checked her oxy bottle, it was lighter than she last remembered it being.
Even so, she knew she wasn’t taking more pills than she was supposed to.
Keeping Tabs
So, OP started to count out the pills and keep track of how many she had. She then confronted her husband over the matter.
He categorically denied all accusations.
Off the Deep End
But he didn’t stop there. OP’s husband then told her she was obviously having “mental health issues.”
He said she was “crazy” and must have instead taken more pills than she thought she had.
Pattern of Deception
OP could only think back on the past years when he’d assured her that her missing pills were probably due to the pharmacy shorting her.
For years, she had believed his lies. She’d even reported the pharmacy to the DEA because she’d trusted him so much.
Not Giving up Yet
OP struggled through her marriage for several more years after that encounter. Finally, she decided to start putting her pills into a “weekly pill container.”
The tactic didn’t work, though. All it accomplished was to make it even more visible to her when a pill would go missing.
Fort Knox
OP decided to go a step further and bought a “safe with biometric and key entry.” Yet still, her drastic solution didn’t work as OP’s “dear hubby” managed to break into the safe without her knowing.
So, there she was, yet again, left to wonder if she really was crazy as she looked at her pill shortage. After all, she’d locked them up in a safe this time.
Professional Denier
But no, it had been OP’s husband once more. She confronted him, and once more, he denied it.
He looked her “straight in the eyes” and told her she needed to get a hold of her “oxy problem.”
It was classic “Gaslighting 101.”
Breaking Out All the Stops
OP professed that she’s “tried everything” to get him clean. She’s taken him to rehab—which cost thousands—but he strolled out after just seven days of detox.
She’s even “begged” him to stop taking her pain pills because she had a demanding corporate job, and working is almost impossible while going through withdrawals.
Doing Her a Favor
With the constant fluctuation in OP’s medication, she was always “sick, frustrated, sad, and confused.” He’d go out and spend his entire paycheck buying street oxy and then say to her, “Look, babe, I got you some meds so that you won’t be sick!”
OP couldn’t believe he thought she should thank him. He had his own pain pill prescription, but he’d use up the entire bottle within seven days and then move on to stealing hers.
Some Alone Time
OP hit a point somewhere in her 25-year marriage where she told her husband she wanted to separate; she needed to “just be alone and not suffer or worry.” All she wanted was for him to “finally admit to his problem,” stealing from her, and stop once and for all.
Every time she’d confronted him in the past, all he’d say was, “Well, I only borrowed a few from you, and I’ll pay you back when I get my script,” and whenever she complained about him stealing her pills, he’d talk over her and begin listing out the minor issues and mistakes she’d made in the past and even tell her it’s “what she deserved.” He’d even act like she was the addict, which OP knew was ridiculous because she’d been on the same medication for nearly 18 years prescribed by her team of doctors at the local VA medical center.
Ugly Business
After OP forced her husband out of their house and they officially separated, he wasted no time taking to social media to proclaim to all their friends and family what a “horrible person” she was. He was “ruthless” in his characterization of her and even became paranoid about what she was doing as a married woman without him around.
It was, sadly, easy for their friends and family to fall for his lies because OP had never told them about his pill problem.
Everyone Deserves a Second Chance
OP held out for two months while her husband begged for forgiveness from her. Finally, she relented, and he moved back in.
All she could do was hope and pray that things would be different this time. She really wanted a “good outcome” for their marriage.
Old Habits Die Hard
Unfortunately, people sometimes can’t change, and OP discovered this while doing housework. While she was working on some household chores, not paying attention and unable to see the safe, he stole pills once more—an entire week’s worth in one go; a month before, he’d stolen “literally” half her bottle.
So, now, after 15 years of dealing with him stealing her prescription pills, having to go through withdrawals every month, him refusing to get help for his addiction, and admitting to her that he’s “suicidal” because of her, she was finally ready to “call it quits” once and for all. She had tried every approach she could think of, from “asking, begging him to stop, to sending him to rehab, then separating,” and was simply ready for some peace without him despite still loving him.
The Community’s Pieces of Advice
The community unanimously proclaimed that she needed to leave fast and stay away.
One Redditor said, “He’s a master manipulator, has the behavior of an addict, and will do anything and hurt everyone around him to get what he wants. Maybe you leaving him is what he may need to change, but there is no way of knowing unless you leave him for good.”
“Even if he ‘changes,’ please don’t let him back in your life. The stealing is bad. The gaslighting and making you doubt yourself is worse. He is totally fine with you suffering pain and withdrawal just so he can get high. You need some therapy for yourself to help you break away from your codependent and enabling tendencies. You deserve to have peace and happiness,” added another user.
What do you think? Should OP stay with her addict husband, or should she get a divorce?
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This post first appeared as She’s Gearing Up for Divorce After Her Addict Husband Repeatedly Stole Her Prescription Oxy, Gaslit Her Into Thinking She’s “Crazy,” and Said She’s a “Horrible Person.” She’s Done With His 20 Years of “Manipulation!” on Quote Ambition.
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