This Redditor was her friend’s plus one at a wedding, and she was happy to go. But her good mood turned sour when the bride demanded she wear flats instead of high heels!
Embracing Her Quirks
OP (Original Poster) is a 25-year-old who is quite tall, especially as a woman. She was 6’5” and, expectedly, a lot taller than most of her friends.
She said, “It’s caused some insecurities in the past, but I’m finally comfy with it and embracing my height—even wearing heels.”
A Friend’s Plus One
One of her close friends, Sarah, invited OP to be her plus one to the wedding of her older sister, Jill. OP had only met Jill a few times, and she “never really got to know her as a person” or become as close with her as she was with Sarah.
To Accept or Not to Accept?
So, initially, OP was hesitant to accept the invitation, thinking it might be inappropriate. Before accepting the invite, she double-checked with Sarah and confirmed that her sister wouldn’t mind her bringing a plus one.
In the end, OP accepted the invitation. She said, “After all, weddings are—usually—fun.”
Wedding Dress Code
Jill’s wedding had a dress code, and the invite said it was “black tie optional.” OP said this meant that one could wear a more fancy evening gown or a classy cocktail gown.
Fixing Herself Up
OP had one dress which she usually wore to weddings. She shared that it was a classy black satin dress that goes down to her ankles; OP noted that it was “definitely appropriate” for the dress code.
She wrote, “I paired it with some champagne-colored pumps I got before the wedding and was excited to try them out.”
Reaching New Heights
The heel was about four inches. This would have been completely fine for a person with an average height, but it pushed OP’s height to 6’9”!
Even though the heel was quite tall, OP noted that the wedding was indoors, so there wouldn’t be a lot of problems with the terrain.
Unnerving Side Eye
OP thought there wouldn’t be a big problem since Jill was also a tall woman, with a height ranging from 5’9” to 5’11”. Everything was going wonderfully well at the wedding until OP noticed Jill side-eyeing her.
Jill eventually pulled OP aside, asking her if they could talk privately.
Stealing the Show!
As they were talking, Jill said that she was glad OP attended. However, her “boosted height” was drawing “too much attention” to her, and Jill feared she was being “upstaged.”
All Eyes on Her
OP admitted she got a few head turns and questions, but nothing extreme. She said that even if those things happened, most of the attention was still on the happy couple.
Jill, however, wouldn’t have it. Instead, she told OP to take her heels off and wear some used ballet flats, which OP noted were quite “scuffed up.”
She wrote, “They were certainly not appropriate for a formal wedding, and also, they were very dirty on the inside, and it looked like someone dipped their feet in the dirt and then stepped into them.”
Sorry, but No!
Jill’s request was certainly unsanitary, and OP didn’t want to take her shoes off. So, instead of doing as the bride asked, she apologized to Jill for upsetting her.
OP then explained that she was not going to change her shoes.
A Furious Bridezilla
Upon hearing OP’s decision, Jill got angry and started raising her voice. She told OP that it was “her day” and that she was “being selfish.”
Their argument was escalating, and OP was also getting mad. She didn’t want to fight with the bride during her wedding, so she just walked away in an attempt to keep the peace.
A Friend and a Sister’s Neutral Stance
OP returned to the wedding, and Jill gave her the silent treatment for the rest of the evening. Sarah, in turn, was caught between her sister and her friend and refused to take sides.
OP said, “Although I feel guilty for angering Jill, I’m not sorry for standing my ground and saying no. Am I the a**hole here?”
For Redditors, Jill was being ridiculously insecure. She shouldn’t be dictating what others wear just because she feared being “upstaged!”
“Not the a**hole. You’re a woman who is 6’5”. People are going to stare anyway. It’s absolutely ridiculous for her to be so insecure,” said a top commenter.
Another Redditor wrote, “Not the a**hole. Expecting you to wear someone else’s used and dirty shoes is ridiculous. Furthermore, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference anyway. She should have simply been happy to have you there and accepted that people are going to be as tall as they are and wear what they wear. You were wearing the same sort of clothing as everyone else.”
She Has No Right!
Though Jill was the bride, she had no right to force OP to change anything about her outfit. To make matters worse, her reasons for doing so were so superficial!
A woman said, “Not the a**hole! What is it with brides demanding other people—typically women—dim their own lights to make sure theirs is the brightest? This is some deeply ingrained s*****, competitive bulls***.”
One Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. As a culture, we really should do away with the notion that brides can demand anything they want on their wedding day. You do not control your height, and it’s not appropriate for someone to single you out due to your physical appearance, any more than if she thought you were too short, too fat, etc. It would be one thing if she had new, clean shoes for you, in which case you could have magnanimously indulged her irrational request, but alas, she did not. Any emotional distress she felt due to your appearance is a consequence of her own unchecked entitlement. Sleep easy; you’re good.”
What do you think of OP’s predicament? Would you wear the ballet flats she was offered?
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This post first appeared as A Bridezilla Demanded She Change Her High-Heeled Shoes to “Scuffed Up” Ballet Flats Because She Was “Upstaging” Her. She Refused and Is Now Accused of Being “Selfish!” Was She Wrong? on Quote Ambition.