Read these Blades of Glory quotes if you need a little humor or a little push in life!
Blades of Glory can be considered one of the defining movies of the 2000s.
With Josh Gordo and Will Speck as its directors and Will Ferrell and Jon Heder as its main actors, there’s no doubt that this movie has been a success. It earned 145.7 million when it was released in March 2007!
The movie zooms in on two male figure skaters banned from the singles competition because of a shallow brawl they were involved in.
Though prideful, Jimmy MacElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels were also ambitious and had a great love for the sport. That’s why, in Blades of Glory, we see them set aside their rivalry and pride to be on the ice again.
This is a one-of-kind combination that shook the world of figure skating! After all, in the movie, they were the first to become the first male figure skating duo in history.
The whole movie is eccentric and humorous. But, beneath all that, we also learn about friendship, acceptance, loyalty, and ambition.
Read on to the end and find the most iconic Blades of Glory quotes!
Best of Blades of Glory Quotes
1. “Hi, it’s Jimmy! If you can dream it, you can do it!” – Jimmy MacElroy
2. “All right, this has got to stop right now. From here on out, you guys are a team. Do you understand? You are going to eat together, sleep together. You’re going to file a joint income tax return. Practice starts now. End of discussion.” – Coach Robert
3. Jimmy MacElroy: “They’re laughing at us.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna go to the moon. Now he’s up there laughing at them.”
4. Chazz Michael Michaels: “Let’s capture the dream.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “Let’s capture the—wow I love it. Where’d you come up with that?”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “I have no idea where I came up with that.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “Cool.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “Let’s kick some ice.”
5. “If we went to a Halloween party as Batman and Robin, I’d go as Robin. That’s how much you mean to me.” – Chazz Michael Michaels
6. “And that’s why I was a sex addict—because no one ever loved me. But I learned something here today. That ice—it doesn’t belong in here. It belongs out there, out on the ice, in an ice rink. I never had a father, okay? But I don’t care because now I’ve got a brother. This is my brother.” – Chazz Michael Michaels
7. “It’s so much more satisfying in the eyes of a small child’s, seeing that wonder, as they see you skate out there with a big wizard’s head-on.” – Chazz Michael Michaels
8. “Maybe if you concentrate on the skating, people will forget all the hype, and they’ll focus on the purity of the sport and the spirit of honest competition.” – Katie Van Waldenberg
9. Chazz Michael Michaels: “That’s you. The wolf that runs with the lone wolf. So the lone wolf never has to be alone again.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “You were drunk when you got it, weren’t you?”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “Yes, absolutely hammered. Welcome to the pack.”
10. Chazz Michael Michaels: “Mind-bottling, isn’t it?”
Jimmy MacElroy: “Did you just say, ‘mind-bottling?’”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “Yeah. You know when things are so crazy, you get your thoughts trapped—like in a bottle.”
Funny Blades of Glory Quotes That’ll Make Your Day
11. Jimmy MacElroy: “I see you got fat.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl.”
12. Jimmy MacElroy: “I don’t share rooms.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “I don’t share anything. The night is a very dark time for me.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “It’s dark for everyone, moron.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “Not for Alaskans or dudes with night-vision goggles.”
13. “I see you have learned to work the Google on the internet machine.” – Chazz Michael Michaels
14. Jimmy MacElroy: ”Get out of my face!”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “I’ll get inside your face!”
15. Fairchild Van Waldenberg: “Nothing breaks up a team faster than—.”
Stranz Van Waldenberg: “Herpes! Uh—jealousy.”
16. Chazz Michael Michaels: “Scoot over.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “Stop touching me. Nobody touches me.”
17. “Are you an official here? Because you’ve officially given me a boner. I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease. With doctors and medicine and everything.” – Chazz Michael Michaels
18. Coach Robert: “You’re the girl.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “What?”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “You’re my pretty lady, MacElroy.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “Wait, why?”
Coach Robert: “Because you whine like one! And no one can lift your fat ass. You’re on a diet starting now.”
19. Coach Robert: “What do you guys have that all other teams don’t have?”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “Twin dongs?”
20. Chazz Michael Michaels: “I can’t do the Lotus with a shattered ankle. I’m just a man for God’s sake.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “We’ll switch places.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “I swear to God if you cut my head off—.”
Blades of Glory Quotes to Revisit Your Favorite Scenes From the Movie
21. Fairchild Van Waldenberg: “Two men skating together? And in our division, no less! Why, Stranz? Why is God singling us out to the greatest suffering the world has ever known?”
Stranz Van Waldenberg: “I don’t know, Sis. Those two are just a couple of freaks.”
Fairchild Van Waldenberg: “Yeah, and the media loves freaks.”
22. “I don’t want to close my eyes, don’t want to fall asleep ‘cause I miss you Jimmy, and I don’t wanna miss a thing.” – Chazz Michael Michaels
23. Darren MacElroy: “You’re fired.”
Coach Robert: “What! I brought you the gold medal.”
Darren MacElroy: “No, you brought me half a gold medal. If I wanted him to share I would have bought him a brother.”
24. Darren MacElroy: “I’m un-adopting you.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “What?”
Darren MacElroy: “I don’t think ‘un-adopting’ is the right word for it. Well, legally I’m disowning you.”
25. Jimmy MacElroy: “So, Coach. I was thinking about the music for our routine.”
Coach Robert: “Really?”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “We’re gonna skate to one song, and one song only—Lady Hump, by the Black Eyed Peas. ‘What you gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I’m gonna get you, get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps, my humps, my humps my lovely lady humps.’”
Jimmy MacElroy: “I’m not skating to anything with references to lady humps. I don’t even know what that means.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “No one knows what it means, but it’s provocative.”
Jimmy MacElroy: “No, it’s not. It’s gross.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “It gets the people going.”
More Blades of Glory Quotes for Figure Skating Fans
26. “It’s basically just gliding, trying not to fall, with a couple of jumps thrown in, right?” – Chazz Michael Michaels
27. Chazz Michael Michaels: “Two men skating? That’s a riot. A laugh riot.”
Coach Robert: “I don’t see what’s so funny.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “If you were as drunk as me, you would.”
28. Hector: “It’s embarrassing stalking a has-been.”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “I hate my life.”
29. Coach Robert: “You getting a lot of satisfaction from those 15-dollar hookers?”
Chazz Michael Michaels: “I am never satisfied! It’s a curse.”
30. Announcer One: “Typical Michaels. He doesn’t just want to win, he wants to make love to the crowd.”
Announcer Two: “Just when you think you’ve seen it all, Chazz Michael Michaels walks in with the unrated version.”
Announcer One: “The undefeated underdog, ice skating’s backdoor lover, Chazz Michael Michaels has come in here and captivated this arena like a stack of classic Euro porn.”
Did You Learn Anything New About Ambition and Camaraderie Through These Quotes?
Sometimes, our ambitions, sense of accomplishment, and pride are the things that can get in the way of our dreams. We see this in Blades of Glory and by watching Jimmy MacElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels.
But, the two learned to put aside these things to get closer to a bigger goal. They overcame their differences and learned the value of camaraderie. Through each scene of the movie, we witness how they grew as figure skaters and human beings.
The same things that blocked their way to their goals were also the keys to building their teamwork. Having the same dreams, they were like-minded in their competitiveness and their drive to win a gold medal. This lesson on friendship and goals is something we can all learn from Blades of Glory.
We must remember that friendship can be found in the most unlikely places. And, sometimes, dreams can’t be achieved solely through your efforts. Remember that it’s easier to achieve something if you have people to help you every step of the way.
The same as in life, you’ll need someone with the same mindset to help you fight and overcome many challenges. Learn from Chazz and Jimmy, and keep in mind that we will always be stronger with the help of others!