Coming from a conservative Christian family, it was a big deal for OP (Original Poster) to get his partner pregnant before marriage. But little did he expect how deeply rooted their beliefs were!
OP and his soon-to-be wife are expecting their first child together. They’re over the moon, but the issue was that OP’s family members are all “hardcore Christians.”
So, everyone wasn’t ecstatic when OP told them they were having a baby before they got married. Because of this, OP and his fiancé decided they’d have the wedding before their baby was born.
OP wrote, “Thankfully, everyone in the family supported this decision and wanted to help.”
Issues With the Dress
The problems started when OP’s fiancé started showing his family pictures of the wedding dress she’d chosen. OP’s mom and aunt immediately got mad, saying she picked a ” revealing” dress.
They also said the dress would show guests she was pregnant, and “they didn’t want that.” His mom and aunt said they wouldn’t accept her choice and “demanded” she replace it with a wedding dress that would “cover her up.”
OP wrote, “My fiancé was crying, saying that my mom was pressuring her and coming up with other wedding dress suggestions that aren’t her style.”
Stepping Over the Line
OP immediately confronted his mom and told her she was “overstepping hugely.” He also told her he didn’t understand why she thinks others seeing her grandchild is something to hide and be ashamed of.
He wrote, “My mom got into an argument with me, lashed out, and said I should not be putting them in this awful position.”
At this, OP told his mom that she was uninvited from his wedding because she refused to stop. Then, OP’s mom got his aunt involved.
OP wrote, “I simply replied to her shaming text by telling her she, too, got uninvited to the wedding.”
She’s a Bridezilla!
Unfortunately, one of OP’s sisters took their side and berated OP. She claimed that his fiancé was the problem because she was a “bridezilla.”
So, OP also told her that she was now uninvited from the wedding as well! He let it be known that everyone else who would try to get involved would get their invites retracted.
After uninviting his mom, aunt, and sister, “s*** hit the fan.”
Now OP’s dad and other family members are furious, saying, “Jesus, Adam. You messed up big time.” They also told him he was “f****** unreasonable.”
His family kept telling OP to re-invite his mom, aunt, and sister as soon as possible. They also insisted his fiancé changed her “offensive” dress because “it’s the least they could do for them.”
OP said, “In fact, they said I should be on my knees begging them to show up after I made them look bad for getting my fiancé pregnant before getting married.”
Chaotic Family Matters
Since then, OP hasn’t talked to his family members. They also made her fiancé feel bad about their choice, including uninviting the family.
However, OP noted that his little sister loved his fiancé’s dress. He said, “At least there’s a supportive member in my family.”
Unfortunately, OP’s brother and his wife didn’t think the same way. OP said, “My brother and his wife just keep parroting my mom’s hurtful words and calling me a doormat for doing this.”
So, now, OP thinks he might be an a**hole because he lashed out and mishandled the issue like his dad said.
The Community’s Two Cents
For Redditors, OP and his fiancé would be much better off without his toxic family.
One said, “Not the a**hole; uninvite the whole f****** family. You’ll have a better time without them. Yes, yes, the little sister is cool; she can come. The only thing is, if she still lives with the parents, it may make her life unpleasant if OP invites her but leaves everyone else out.”
It’s Your Wedding!
Some users also noted that OP and his fiancé should do everything it takes to enjoy their big day, even if it includes celebrating without OP’s side of the family.
“A wedding is a lot of work, and you and your fiancé should get to enjoy it. If your parents, sister, and aunt come, they’re just going to trash-talk the bride the whole night, leading to more family drama. Uninvite them all and enjoy your wedding. You might want to go low contact if they’re going to trash-talk your wife in front of the kids as well. Not the a**hole. Your family, with the exception of your little sister, sounds like a bunch of a**holes, though,” said one user. Another wrote, “OP, you’re definitely not being a doormat. You’re being a husband. Not the a**hole, and good on you.”
How would you comfort OP and his fiancé? What would you tell OP’s family members?
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This post first appeared as He Banned His Christian Mom, Aunt, and Sister From His Wedding After They Forced His Pregnant Fiancé to Change Her “Revealing” and “Offensive” Dress. Now His Family Says He’s “Unreasonable!” on Quote Ambition.