This Redditor felt disregarded when his sister chose his late fiancé’s birthday as her wedding date. He tried to explain his side and change her mind, but the confrontation led to more conflict than solutions!
Remembering His Fiancé
OP (Original Poster) lost his fiancé, Emily, two years before this story was posted.
Since then, he has treated her birthday as a somber day of reflection. She’s gone, but he does all he can to honor her memory and their time together.
An Understanding Family
According to OP, his family understands his pain, especially his sister, Lucy. They’re siblings, so they’ve always been close despite their differences.
The Big Announcement
Lucy recently announced her wedding date. However, to OP’s shock, his sister scheduled it for Emily’s birthday.
She Had No Choice
OP immediately confronted Lucy to get her side of the story. She claimed it was the “only available date,” but something about her tone was off.
This made OP doubt his sister’s sincerity.
Dismissing His Feelings
Even so, OP didn’t give up. He tried to talk to his sister, expressing how painful it was for him.
OP expected her to understand where he was coming from. However, instead of comforting him, she told him to “move on.”
Words Cut Deep
OP couldn’t fathom how insensitive his sister could be, as she emphasized that her wedding was more important than his “lingering grief.”
Those may be just words, but they cut deep into OP’s heart, creating a fracture in their relationship.
His Parents’ Opinions
OP thought that if Lucy couldn’t understand his side, perhaps his considerate and understanding family would. He talked to them next, but to his dismay, his parents sided with his sister.
Worse, his family said he was being selfish. “Family should come first,” is all they had to say.
A Plethora of Feelings
OP suffered many sleepless nights because of all the emotions running through his heart and mind. He felt trapped, angry, and betrayed.
Because of this, he decided to skip the wedding, even if it was his sister’s big day.
Family’s Fallout
Instead, OP spent the day at Emily’s graveside. It brought him a sense of comfort and relief.
However, he also started feeling guilty because of what he did to Lucy.
Never-Ending Wedding Drama
As expected, it wasn’t the end of the wedding drama. OP’s family members are furious with his decision.
For them, OP acted “selfishly” and “immaturely.”
Divided Opinions
While some of his friends sided with his sister, some still understood and favored him. However, this division made him question his decision even more.
She Crossed a Line!
OP no doubt loves Lucy. However, he couldn’t let her disrespect for his feelings pass and was convinced she had definitely crossed a line!
Sadly, he’s still at a loss. He may have chosen himself and his late fiancé, but he felt he had torn his family apart.
Redditors’ Opinions
Despite his family calling OP selfish, Redditors think his feelings are valid.
One said, “Not the a**hole. First, for the death of a long-term romantic partner, two years is a flash in the pan. The idea that you have lingering grief now, especially on the anniversary of the death, is bulls***. It’s still going to hurt something awful, and on that day, it’s going to be especially sensitive. You aren’t being selfish; you are taking care of yourself.”
Another added, “There is no timeline for grieving someone, but expecting someone to just be fine two years later is incredibly insensitive.”
“Family Comes First” Is a Two-Way Street
Other Redditors are calling OP’s family out for being insensitive. They believe that the line “Family comes first” shouldn’t be one-sided.
One wrote, “Not the a**hole. Your feelings are valid. Grief never leaves. Also, I hate that line, “Family comes first.” If family came first, why didn’t your sister acknowledge your feelings? The family line works two ways.”
Another Redditor added that his family should have considered his late fiancé a family to him. A woman wrote, “She would have been family to them too. She may not have been blood-related, but she’s family all the same. It’s upsetting that they didn’t take that into consideration.”
How about you? Do you think OP was selfish and immature, or did he make the right decision?
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This post first appeared as He Boycotted His Sister’s Wedding After She Deliberately Scheduled It on His Late Fiancé’s Birthday. He Thinks It Was “Insensitive” of Her, but She Said His “Lingering Grief” Wasn’t Important! on Quote Ambition.
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