A young man’s girlfriend needed a knee replacement, which he promised to pay for. When he found out she cheated, he didn’t break up with her but spent the money on something else!
Doing It for Love
OP (Original Poster) had a 22-year-old girlfriend. Unfortunately, she’s been in a bad place and has been having trouble walking because of her bad knee.
A Lifetime Gift
She’s scheduled to undergo a knee replacement a month after OP posted this story. But because she couldn’t pay for the operation, OP decided he would take care of the fees for her.
Time Is of the Essence
The timing of the surgery was important because the longer they waited, the less chance it would work. The doctors told her if she didn’t get her knee replaced in the next six to eight months, she might have to use crutches for the rest of her life.
Due to the nature of her injury, a delay would mean the difference between success and failure.
Her Dark Secret
OP didn’t know it when he agreed to pay, but his girlfriend had been keeping a dark secret from him. When the secret came out, it would change how he looked at the whole situation.
How Could You?
Soon, OP found out that his girlfriend had cheated on him. She had a one-night stand a year before OP posted this story!
He wrote, “Not long term, but a one-night stand, which is still as horrible, in my opinion.”
Will It Work?
He was understandably devastated by this news, but he didn’t want to break up with her—yet. Instead, OP decided he wouldn’t be spending a large sum on someone who cheated on him.
Blood and Water
Instead, he decided to spend the money on another woman who was important to him. After much thought, OP paid for his sister’s tuition!
He did all this without his girlfriend’s knowledge.
A week after he spent the money, he decided to tell his girlfriend the truth. He told her he had spent the money, and she “had been crying and screaming ever since.”
A Life Ruined
OP’s girlfriend was destroyed and accused him of “f****** up her life.” She would now have to face the reality of being disabled for her entire life.
Out of Options
The problem was OP’s girlfriend didn’t have any health insurance. She had been depending on the money he said he would spend to get the surgery, and now she couldn’t afford it.
OP’s girlfriend had no way of saving up the money she would need in the time that was left. To delay the procedure would mean that the success rate would go down, and her chances of being crippled would keep going up.
A Hard Heart
Till now, OP hadn’t broken up with his girlfriend but stated that he “wasn’t going to change his mind.” This did, however, make him wonder if he had been wrong to do this to his girlfriend or not.
He asked, “I was wondering, am I an a**hole in your opinion?”
Redditors’ Two Cents
As you might have imagined, there were a lot of strong opinions about this, and the general consensus was that everyone in this situation sucked.
One Redditor summed up the general mood of all the posters by saying, “Everyone sucks here. It’s fair enough not to want to pay for her surgery, but you really should break up with her. There is no way to sustain a relationship with you, resenting her for cheating and her resenting you because she may be disabled for the rest of her life.”
Another Redditor noted, “Everyone sucks here. Cheating is awful, so she’s clearly an a**hole. And obviously, you are not obligated to pay for anyone’s surgery, but I think you know to promise something as big as funds for a necessary medical procedure and then suddenly withdraw it is a**hole behavior. Also, if you are still salty about her cheating, leave her. Don’t tell her you want to stay together and then punish her.”
A Fateful Decision
In general, very few people thought that OP was right to do what he had done. He should have either broken up with her or still paid for her surgery since he said he would.
One Redditor said, “Everyone sucks here: she cheated, that’s a**hole from her, but you decided to stay with her, so to treat her like that is also a**hole. Break up with her instead of that. She’ll be alone and will have no one else to blame but herself for her missed surgery, and you’ll find someone who won’t cheat on you. If you stay with her, you can’t keep bringing that up. You decided to stay.”
Should OP have still paid for the surgery and stayed with her? Do you think OP should have broken up with her right away?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Fund His Cheating Girlfriend’s Surgery and Spent the Money on His Sister’s Tuition Instead. She’s Devastated, but He’s “Punishing” Her for Her Betrayal, Leaving Her “Disabled Forever!” on Quote Ambition.