This dad is being shunned by the online community after he turned his back on his daughter, who got an abortion. He promised to support her, but why is he doing the exact opposite?
Early in Her Pregnancy
OP (Original Poster) has three kids: two girls and one boy. Then, he shared that his 29-year-old daughter recently came to him and his wife, telling them she was 4 months pregnant.
His daughter explained that she didn’t know the baby’s father. There were, however, multiple people she suspected could be the dad.
OP wrote, “From what I could gather, she doesn’t like taking birth control and instead trusts her partners to use protection.”
A Strong, Independent Woman
Money-wise, everything was fine. His daughter works in one of OP’s companies and gets paid competitively for what OP believes is “minimal work.”
Aside from that, he and his wife were willing to support her financially.
Supportive Mom and Dad
When they talked to their daughter, they told her they would support her in whatever she did. While discussing her options, OP and his wife made it clear to their daughter that if she kept the baby, they would support her financially and “ensure that she would be able to spend as much time as possible with the child.”
This was important for OP, considering his daughter might become a single mother.
Then, out of the blue, OP’s daughter told them she was considering getting an abortion. This was the one thing OP couldn’t stand behind.
He wrote, “I told her that if she wanted to get an abortion, she would have to pay for it herself, the implication being that I would financially support every option but that.”
OP explained that his daughter knew he was “personally not supportive of the practice.” However, he didn’t want to nag since his daughter was under a lot of stress, so he didn’t remind her about this.
He shared, “In the end, I made sure that she understood that whatever she did, it would never affect the amount of love we have for her.”
Talking Things Out
After this part of the conversation, OP left his wife and daughter to talk. His only question was if it was “consensual s**,” and his wife said it was.
He shared that his wife and daughter are close, so he was sure his daughter would tell her mom if it wasn’t.
There’s No Baby
A couple of days after their initial conversation, OP’s daughter called him at an “odd hour.” He feared something was wrong, so he immediately asked how she felt.
However, OP was caught off guard when his daughter said she wasn’t pregnant anymore.
OP immediately thought his daughter had a miscarriage, so he asked her what had happened.
He wrote, “I asked if she had a miscarriage, and she said no. I asked if she wanted to talk about it, and she said no. I told her to take as much time as she needs off of work and that I would handle everything with her job.”
A Secret Will
After this, OP explained that he told his kids that all his fortune would go to charity when he died. However, they didn’t know that he set aside 35% of his estate to leave them as an inheritance.
He explained, “I didn’t tell them so they could keep being motivated instead of waiting on my inheritance.”
OP’s daughter was set to receive a share of his estate. However, he’s now considering taking her out of his will—all because she got an abortion!
OP wrote, “My thought process is that since she did something I don’t agree with morally, I don’t want to reward her with an inheritance from me. I would do the same for any of my kids if they did something similar.”
His other daughter and son are still set to receive their share. Like OP’s 29-year-old daughter, OP’s son also works in his company; meanwhile, his younger daughter is still in high school.
OP shared, “Both my son and my daughter work for my companies, and if they are responsible with their money, they can be financially independent and retire long before I die. The inheritance goes from $3,000,000 for each of them to about $4,500,000 for my son and younger daughter.”
Financially Independent Kids
In an edit, OP explained that his kids are well-compensated in his company. Therefore, they are both financially independent.
He wrote, “My children working for me are making well into six figures before bonuses, benefits, and stock options. The inheritance is mainly symbolic.”
The Inheritance Is Out of the Equation
OP also explained that though he’s cutting his daughter out of his will, it doesn’t mean that he won’t support her in other aspects of her life.
He isn’t religious, so it wasn’t the reason behind his decision. OP said, “My daughter still has my emotional and financial support in addition to her job,” but she isn’t getting her share of the million-dollar inheritance in the future.
What the Community Has to Say
To put it simply, Redditors disagree with OP. People are appalled by how he treated his daughter—all because she made a choice for herself.
One Redditor commented, “Wow. You’re the a**hole. Not only are you the a**hole, you sound like a bad person. Not only did you not support her choice, you now want to disown her for it. First, you badmouth her job to us and smear her social and s***** choices, then you promise her false support, and now you want to punish her for being her own person. Don’t miss the bit in there about not telling her you would disinherit her unless she acquiesced to your choices for her uterus but expecting her to know that anyway.”
The same person added, “What does that even mean? You are already setting up the inheritances to be unequal from the start? I’ll leave that aside for the moment because there is more than enough here. You might be the most straightforward a**hole I have ever seen on this sub. Congratulations.”
You’re a Control Freak
People also questioned OP’s feelings toward his daughter. He claims he loves her, but what he didn’t wasn’t out of love!
“You’re the a**hole because what you said here and what you are wanting to do are in direct conflict. You can not claim to love your child no matter what and then cut them out of the will because they did something that you don’t agree with. That’s not love; that’s wanting to control,” wrote one user.
The same user said, “Your children are their own entities. They do not belong to you and are not an extension of you. Their choices and opinions do not have to reflect yours simply because you donated to their biology. To take her out of the will is telling her that your love and support come with strings and stipulations. It says that if she doesn’t play by whatever rules you set and act and be whatever it is you decide on how she should act and be, she will get nothing from you. Is that the message you want to leave her with upon your death? That your love is quantifiable and that you actually didn’t love and support her as unconditionally as you claimed?”
Do you think OP’s being a jerk? What should he do instead?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Give His Daughter Her $3,000,000 Inheritance After She Got an Abortion Behind His Back. He Said He’d Support Her No Matter What, but He’s Just “Punishing” Her! on Quote Ambition.