This Redditor had turned to the community after facing his uncle’s bullying tactics regarding the money he would inherit. Should he give up his share, or should he fight for it?
Grandmother’s Irrevocable Life Insurance Trust
OP (Original Poster) is a 37-year-old man who recently found out he will inherit $400,000 when his 95-year-old grandmother dies.
In his post, he said he was recently approached by his uncle, who managed his grandmother’s estate and was told that “her irrevocable life insurance trust (ILIT) of $800,000 was to be split equally between him and my mom upon my grandmother’s death.”
Mom’s Passing
Sadly, OP’s mother passed away two years before this story was posted due to cancer. He said that per the rules of his grandmother’s ILIT, he’s now the sole beneficiary of his mom’s $400,000 portion.
A Call From His Uncle
A week after finding out about his inheritance, OP received a call from his uncle. He said that it was now his grandmother’s wish that OP shared half of his inheritance with his cousin—his uncle’s son.
What Will You Be Giving?
OP’s inheritance was supposedly for his late mom, and he knew that his uncle would be receiving $400,000 as well. So, he asked how much he would share with his own son.
He said he would give his son nothing and keep the $400,000 for himself. OP’s uncle said it’s because he’s “the son of my grandmother.”
Let’s Put It on Paper
OP’s uncle didn’t stop there. He told OP he would ask him to sign a contract renouncing his claim to 50% of his inheritance and sign it to his cousin.
After all, legally, his uncle can’t change the rules of the trust.
A Grandma’s Confused Mind
A week after OP’s conversation with his uncle, he received calls from his angry grandmother, who has dementia.
OP shared, “She wants my cousin and I to have equal money—$200,000 each. It has evolved from $100,000 to $2,000 and now $200,000. She is unable to articulate where the money is coming from and alludes to it coming from ‘me, my money, my will.’”
Manipulative Uncle
Per OP, it seemed like his grandmother wasn’t aware that the source of the money she was talking about was the trust. So, for OP, it was clear that his uncle was manipulating his grandma.
He said, “My uncle has been coaching her and hiding the details of how the trust money is to be dispersed.”
You’re Being Greedy
OP said that everything had gotten worse since, and his grandmother recently asked him if he wanted to be written out of the family or the will because he was “being greedy.”
Apart from this, OP had also received messages from his uncle’s wife saying he was a lousy grandson with no relationship with his grandmother. However, he disagreed with that and said in his post, “All untrue. I love my grandmother dearly and want this to stop.”
Another Issue or Just More Lies?
OP added that his uncle brought up another issue: there would be no money in his grandmother’s estate or will when she dies because of her high cost of living. Therefore, there would be no money left for him or his cousin.
He said this was why he wanted OP to split the inheritance that was supposed to be for his mom—because his cousin would not be receiving anything.
Lawyering Up
OP added an edit, saying that he already got a lawyer, and the lawyer said his uncle was clearly in the wrong.
He shared a snippet of his conversation with the lawyer, saying, “It’s an irrevocable trust and was set up this way and not to be changed. The money is solely mine as the beneficiary of my mother, who passed.”
No Obligation
His lawyer also gave him more peace of mind when he told him he was not obligated to do anything. If his uncle wanted his cousin to have money, he could give him money—it was not his or his mom’s responsibility.
Regarding his grandma’s calls, the lawyer suggested, “If the calls increase from my grandmother, then I could register an elder abuse claim and take further legal action.”
Creepy Uncle
OP’s uncle didn’t stop with his manipulation and bullying, and OP said that on the day his other grandmother passed away, he sent him a creepy video saying now he’s lost two grandmothers.
He shared, “In the video, he shows the insurance premium bill and then shows himself crumpling it up in his hand and then tearing it to pieces. He also says it’s my decision that I made, and it doesn’t matter to him.”
Redditors’ Two Cents
Redditors found OP’s uncle’s actions—especially toward his grandma—very concerning and appalling.
One said, “Definitely not the a**hole. I’m glad you’re standing your ground. Do not sign anything! Your uncle is absolutely in the wrong here. He’s manipulating your grandmother, as you believe. Get yourself a lawyer whose expertise is estates, stat. Your uncle more than likely is in the midst of making attempts to change the trust since he couldn’t get you to sign away your rights to your money. He’s the a**hole—big time.”
Don’t Trust Anything He Says
There was also a lawyer in the thread who tried to help OP see how suspicious his uncle was being.
He advised, “Trust nothing he says. For all you know, Grandma could have left everything to your mom or to you. The amount of money could be much more or much less than $400,000. This is really suspicious and what someone who is stealing money might say.”
What Do You Think?
What’s your opinion on OP’s uncle? What would you do if you were OP?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Give Up Half of His $400,000 Inheritance to His Cousin Because He Knew His Uncle Was Only Trying to Bully and Manipulate Him on Quote Ambition.
