A man turned to the community to ask if it was wrong to exclude his family from their wedding after they tried to humiliate his fiancé. Redditors believed he was right to protect his partner!
Traditional and Religious Family
OP (Original Poster) is a 24-year-old man who will soon marry Jace, his 23-year-old boyfriend. However, his mom’s family was very religious and traditional, so they had difficulty adjusting to OP’s relationship.
He said, “They always believed I would be marrying a girl and are having a hard time adjusting.”
Passing Things off as a Joke
His fiancé, Jace, is a model and was often made to wear more feminine clothes during shoots; no one really had a problem with this.
OP said that his family had seen some of Jace’s photos and often joked that he was “pretty enough to be a girl.” Jace would then laugh it off and think of it as a joke.
Deal with Grandpa
OP’s grandpa offered to pay for the couple’s suits. However, part of their deal was that his grandpa would have a say on the kind of suits they ordered because he was paying for them.
The couple agreed, and they went for a fitting on different days.
The day OP went to pick up their suits, he immediately thought that something was off. He said his suit was fine, but Jace’s suit was small and white—Jace was adamant he wanted a black one!
When he asked his aunt, she said that Jace was the one who chose it, but OP wouldn’t have it. He brought it up with Jace when he got home, and at first, he just brushed it off; when OP said the suit looked small, Jace started panicking but said he would handle it.
Was He Pressured?
OP couldn’t help but feel like Jace was pressured into choosing the suit he saw; he said Jace was a bit of a people pleaser so it wouldn’t surprise him. He started looking for suits online for a replacement and thought they could refund his grandpa, but it seems the problem ran deeper.
He said, “As it turns out, they ordered a woman’s suit for him. I honestly thought it was a mistake at first and that maybe my grandfather somehow chose wrong, so I asked J about it when he got home, and he broke down.”
Forcing Him to Be Feminine
OP discovered that Jace was forced into choosing the suit he previously saw. Per his grandfather, “Every wedding needs someone in the bride role, and since he’s marrying into our family, it should be him.”
Apart from that, OP’s aunt pressured Jace to lose weight so he could fit into the woman’s suit they chose for him. She even told Jace that OP’s family would only accept him if he agreed to wear a bridal one for the wedding.
That Is Not the End of It
Additionally, OP found out that his aunt had been buying lots of accessories that are extremely feminine in an attempt to feminize Jace further. She even suggested he get a new engagement ring!
Uninviting His Family
OP was livid, but Jace told him he hadn’t said anything because he “wanted to keep the peace.” However, OP wouldn’t have it; he immediately uninvited his family from the wedding.
He got a call from his mom asking what had happened, and when he explained, she was shocked and ashamed. She admitted their family’s actions were unacceptable but also tried to make an excuse and said they were having difficulty adjusting to this “new kind of wedding.”
To make things worse, OP’s cousins joined in, too. OP shared, “My cousins say if a suit was such a big deal, then J should just wear a dress since he’s used to wearing girl clothes.”
So, he uninvited them, too.
Standing His Ground
Jace’s family is all on his side, but OP’s mom said he was “overreacting.” She told him everyone should be allowed to come if they apologized.
OP admitted that he was harsh, but he also doesn’t think he was in the wrong.
OP and Jace agreed that his family would be able to attend the ceremony—not the reception—should they apologize to Jace. His mom was on board with the idea, and everyone apologized, apart from his cousins; for OP, though, only his aunt looked sincere.
They could also return both suits, paid for by OP’s grandpa. In turn, Jace’s grandparents offered to pay for new suits, and it was up to them to choose whatever they liked.
The couple thought that that would be the end of it, but they were wrong. The day before OP posted this story, they got a return on their deposit on their wedding venue.
They said they were double-booked, but later, they concluded that his mom’s uncle was able to convince the venue owners not to host OP and Jace. He said, “presumably because they were p***** about not being able to come to the reception.”
Trying to Taunt Them
The couple tried to book the reception venue again, this time under OP’s future brother-in-law’s name, but they said the venue had already been booked. Later, they discovered that OP’s mom’s uncle had sent in a higher deposit.
OP shared, “He was essentially dangling the venue over our heads in order for us to go back on our word for not having that side of the family at the reception. I’m not sure how any of that works, and it seems incredibly unprofessional on the venue’s part.”
They Do Not Deserve to Celebrate Our Love!
At this point, Jace was willing to have OP’s family present at the wedding because they had already sent invites but had no venue for people to come to. However, OP was adamant about excluding his family.
He said, “I had enough of them. They had abused J behind my back and insulted our relationship; they didn’t deserve to celebrate our marriage.”
Thankfully, one of their “grooms ladies” offered their own property, which was around 30 minutes away from the original venue. They scrambled to get it fixed up for the wedding, but they made it!
OP wrote, “We transformed this place into something that somewhat resembles a wedding venue two days leading up to it.” He added, “We liked it so much that we decided to have the ceremony there as well.”
OP and Jace never told OP’s family about the venue change; instead, OP told them they could go to the venue they paid for for the reception and even apologized for disrespecting them.
However, in the end, they found out that the couple had secretly changed the venue! OP’s mom’s uncle even asked them to refund him, but they blocked everyone in the family.
Best Day of Their Lives
OP said, “The wedding was perfect and the greatest day of my life. Despite the pitfalls, J and I had a truly fantastic day.”
He ended by saying he was still not sure why his family acted the way they did, but he said he was okay with never speaking to any of them again.
Redditors’ Two Cents
People were appalled by OP’s family’s actions and accused them of being abusive.
A top comment was, “Not the a**hole; your family is abusive as f****! Holy s***! Protect your SO from the crazy!” Then, another said, “Not the a**hole. Any apologies they make will be meaningless as they clearly don’t think they’ve done anything wrong.”
What was your initial reaction when you read OP’s story? What would you do if you were in their shoes?
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This post first appeared as He Uninvited His Family From His Wedding After They Humiliated and Abused His Fiancé by Forcing Him to Wear a Woman’s Suit for the Ceremony, Just to “Feminize” Him on Quote Ambition.